Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(11)
Many thanks!
Fawn, Owner
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Wed, Nov 21, 2018 at 9:31 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Please Advise
What are you seeing when you plug the camera in? There’s a drive that recognizes devices when you plug them in.
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Wed, Nov 21, 2018 at 9:50 PM
To: Angela Washington
Re: Please Advise
Angela, you are so kind to write back! I have the wire connected, but when I click “Start” and then “Drives,” there is nothing there but the C drive, something else I don’t recognize, and the D drive with a little boxy-looking picture. Could that be it?
Many thanks,
Fawn, Owner
P.S. I know, I know. I realize I’m the last person in the universe to give in and buy a smartphone. :(
From: Angela Washington
Sent: Wed, Nov 21, 2018 at 10:05 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Please Advise
Can you take a pic on your phone and send me what you’re seeing? I think you want the D drive.
—A
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Wed, Nov 21, 2018 at 10:16 PM
To: Angela Washington
Re: Please Advise
Well, I would take a picture of it and show you if I could. I guess the boxy-looking thing could be a camera. Is the camera usually on the D drive? Why don’t they just call it a camera drive?
I just clicked on it, but then nothing happens. I give up. The posters will have to do as they are. If they are ugly and not to anyone’s liking, feel free to blame the D drive.
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Nov 23, 2018 at 7:15 AM
To: Staff
Subject: Black Friday Doughnuts!!!
Dear Staff,
There are doughnuts and bagels in the kitchen. Please help yourselves! It’s important to stay energized on this very important day! (Please do not eat in front of the customers.)
Fawn, Owner
P.S. Has anyone heard from Angela? She won’t pick up her phone.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Nov 23, 2018 at 12:30 PM
To: Angela Washington
Subject: Edible Arrangements
Angela,
Simply sending an Edible Arrangements basket in lieu of your presence on Black Friday (the most important retail day of the year) is ludicrous and inadequate. How dare you assume that this is a suitable apology for a no-show? I understand family is important, but family is constant, unlike a paycheck.
Still, we are enjoying the fruit. When you return, we will discuss a proper punishment.
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Nov 23, 2018 at 8:59 PM
To: Staff
Subject: A Success!
Dear Staff,
Thank you so much for your efforts today! Although customers only started to trickle in around 9 a.m., I still think we had a very successful day, even without Angela’s presence. And even though we did not have the Mark Twain inventory delivered in time as I had hoped, I don’t think I’ve heard the cash register pop open that much since last year at this time! Truly, you should all be commended. You stayed positive during the slow morning hours, kept your energy up as we cleaned up from the madness of the day, and ignored the long and pretentious line of people down the street for the grand opening of a store they had no idea about. They must have paid those people to stand in line.
I am truly blessed to have you all helping out today, and I appreciate your stiff upper lips in the face of the adversity of new store openings and absent employees. Also, thank you, Sam, for jumping on the register so that I could lie down. My back is really getting worse, and the eye twitching seems to be somehow connected.
Fawn, Owner
P.S. Who names a bookstore the Grumpy Mug Bookstop? I can’t tell if it’s a photo booth for criminals or a store that sells heavy tomes as doorstops. Confusing? Misleading? I think so!
Dear Fawn,
Somebody left a ziplock bag of pizza in my refrigerator. Did you leave it? It was good.
—Jane, your tenant
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Nov 24, 2018 at 1:03 PM
To: Jacob Whitney
Subject: Black Friday Hell
Dear Mr. Whitney,
Although I stayed positive throughout the day and afterward commended my employees for their excellent job in the face of adversity, I am sickened by how poorly our Black Friday actually went. I looked at the numbers, and it was surely the most abysmal Black Friday I have on record. I am able to tell you, with utmost surety, that Black Friday’s sales were akin to a typical rainy day in February. Do you understand what this means? I will help you if you do not. What this means is that we did not get the proper inventory in for the busiest day of the year, customers were disappointed to find NOTHING new to buy, and I lost hundreds of dollars while my nemesis gained not only happy customers but all the money that was rightfully mine for the taking. I am almost too upset to go on, and so I will instead plan my next move. Wallowing does a person not a shred of good.
And so, when will you be able to have the books delivered? Let’s please aim for before Christmas and spare me from another cruel circumstance.
Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a Mark Twain specialist store)