Bullet(23)

She could have gotten the same reaction from me by kicking me in the stomach with steel-toed boots. It took me a few moments to catch my breath. “Ethan and Charlotte?”

“Yeah…” Her voice grew weak. “And…I can’t tell you anything else.”

“Oh, no, Jennifer, you can’t do that. What else did you see?”

“Uh…crap. They…were kissing.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. No, that was okay. That was fine. Yeah, it was. Maybe it was the kick in the teeth I needed to finally move on from the stupid obsession I had with Ethan. Knowing that he had no interest in me aside from toying with me as though I were a mouse to his cat…that was a revelation I needed. “Okay.” I picked my fork back up and started scooting the green beans around that side of the plate.

“You okay, Val?” Zane lowered his head, trying to catch my eye.

I looked up. I wasn’t going to force a fake smile, but I was going to do my best to sound optimistic. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

He took in a breath, and I saw him clench his jaw. “Okay.”

“Wait. What? What are you hiding, Zane?”

He looked shocked. He hadn’t expected me to be able to catch it in my state. “Nothing you want to know, Val.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You don’t. You think you do, but you don’t.”

“Damn it, Zane, haven’t we been completely honest with each other about everything?”

“Don’t play that card, Val.” I just stared him down. I could sense Jennifer wanting to get up to avoid what would happen next, but she stayed. Zane sighed. “They…uh…they’ve been pretty hot and heavy this week.”

“What about Mercy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mercy—the girl he took to the dance.”

“I have no idea. All I know is he and this girl Charlotte hooked up Sunday at the library and have been inseparable ever since.” He pointed the tines of his fork at me. “Don’t ask me to tell you anything else, Valerie Quinn.”

In spite of (or maybe because of) the heavy emotions I’d been experiencing, the way he said it made me laugh…as though I’d been torturing a confession out of him, one that would get him into some heavy shit with Ethan. Maybe, though, he was wanting to spare my feelings. Whatever the case, I’d respect his wishes.

And I didn’t say another word, but I was growing angrier and angrier. Fine if Ethan didn’t want me, but why did he have to pick Charlotte? He knew about the bad blood between her and me. Hell, he’d even defended me against her the night after the concert. Was he trying to become my enemy?

On our way back to the dorms, Zane asked, “You okay?”

I shrugged. “Yeah.”

We got to our building, and Zane said to Jennifer, “Do you mind if I steal her for a few minutes?”

She smiled. “Of course not. I have a huge test to study for anyway.”

We stood outside while Jennifer went in through the glass doors. “What?” I asked.

“Seriously—you gonna be okay?”

I shrugged. “Hell if I know. I’m just wondering what the hell is wrong with Ethan.”

He chuckled. “I’ve often wondered that myself. But…in all seriousness, Val…I think what’s wrong with Ethan is…you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. He has…some f*cked up notion about wanting to keep you pure and innocent.”

“What?”

“Yeah…he calls you his muse.”

Now I was floored. “What?!” He just nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “So exactly what the hell does Charlotte Edwards have to do with anything?”

Zane smiled, closed his eyes, and shook his head. “The guy’s got needs, Val, and when little Miss Mercy didn’t exactly put out and Miss Edwards offered to polish his knob, how could he say no?”

“But…of all people…”

“Hey. I never said he was smart.”

I couldn’t help the glare I knew was forming on my face. “Or loyal.”

“Hey…I’m not gonna make apologies for him. I think he’s being stupid, frankly. But I really do think he’s f*cked in the head when it comes to you. I think he’s doing this shit out of a misguided attempt to keep you on a pedestal.”

“That is f*cked up.”

“Not as much as you’d think.” He put his arm around my shoulders and started leading me toward the door again. “But let’s get you inside. You’re shivering.”

Yeah…but I was feeling colder inside.

* * *

Later that night, I decided I just needed to talk to Ethan. I couldn’t stand this anymore. Ethan Richards had put a bullet through my heart, and I wanted some resolution. So I texted Zane and asked him to let me know if or when Ethan was there. He texted back: Not here yet. Will let u no.

So I tried to focus on reading my Art Appreciation textbook. Later on, though, I got another text: He’s here and she’s leaving.

That was my opportunity. Jennifer had already fallen asleep, so I wouldn’t have to explain where I was going. I just grabbed my key, tucked it into my jeans pocket, and raced down the hall to the stairs. Our buildings, along with one other, were connected through a glass walkway at the ground level, and I ran down the stairs of my building on the far side where the walkway was. Just as I got to the ground floor, Charlotte was starting to walk into our building. She spotted me and stood in the doorway, blocking my way out.

I tried to keep my voice calm when I said, “Excuse me.” It was icy, but it wasn’t hostile.

Charlotte wore a clingy blue satiny dress with a low neckline. It didn’t take much imagination to see the curves of her body, and she seemed confident showing off her cleavage. Her lips curled into a sneer. “Planning to see Ethan?”

God, how’d she know? That pissed me off. “That’s really none of your business.” I got closer to her. “Excuse me.” This time I stated it more as a demand than a request.

“Why? You think if you go up there now, he’ll accept you with open arms?”

“Why do you care?” I could feel a fury building inside me, the likes of which I’d never felt before.

She smiled and leaned against the doorframe. If it had been during the day, she wouldn’t have been able to get away with blocking the doorway, but this late at night, there weren’t many girls in a hurry to get back to their rooms. “Ethan and I have had a little bit of fun together. He’s tasted me and, believe me, he’ll be begging for more.”

So…was she trying to tell me she and Ethan had slept together? Whether or not it was true, I knew she was trying to make me angry. I had to try to keep my cool. But I couldn’t help myself. “If you’re so tasty, why don’t any of your other boyfriends ever come back for seconds?”

I could tell from her eyes that I’d hit a soft spot. She stayed calm, though. I hadn’t expected her to. I thought she would come at me like she had the night she moved out. And I had been ready for that; I was prepared to fight if I needed to. This confrontation had been a long time coming between the two of us. “You’re so smug. I just want to slap that look off your face. But I know you’re just upset because Ethan wanted me, not you, so you’re just jealous. I’ll give him what he wants.”

I started laughing. I probably shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself. “I don’t think he really wanted your chlamydia.”

She was starting to squirm. She moved out of the doorway just slightly to get closer to me. I still couldn’t have just gone around without shoving her aside, though. She lowered her voice. “Valerie, why does it bother you so much?” She wound a finger through a lock of her black hair. “At least now I know why you thought he was so cute. You should see him in bed. He f*cks like a stallion and gets this wild look in his eyes—”

“I don’t want to hear it.” I moved forward so that we were close. “Excuse me, Charlotte.” I didn’t want to hear about her pleasurable night with the guy who should have been my boyfriend. I was tired of her games, so I shoved my way between her and the door. She didn’t make it easy, and she grabbed my arm to pull me back.

“I’m not through talking to you, Valerie Quinn.” She hit me on the jawbone. It wasn’t very hard, but I hadn’t been expecting it, and I lost my balance.

When I regained my footing, I said, “Charlotte, I’ve had enough of you.”

Now…keep in mind I was a young, inexperienced thing from a small town. I’d never physically fought another soul in my life. Not only did I not know what I was doing, I felt like an idiot. But something my little brother had told me once stuck with me. He’d said if you let the bully hit you, he’ll keep hitting you. Hit the bully back, though, and it’s all over. And that’s what I thought Charlotte was—just an overgrown bully. So, like it or not, I thought I needed to fight back. And that’s what I did. I punched her in the stomach. I didn’t punch her hard, but I didn’t want her to think I’d just cower and run off like a scared little girl. She wrapped her hands around her stomach. Hoping they were the last words I’d ever have to speak to her, I got close to her face and said, “Don’t mess with me, Charlotte.” I started to leave again through the open doorway.