Begin Again (Again #1)(39)

I shook my head and held him back with a hand on his chest.

“It’s not going to happen. Not this way, under these conditions.”

Kaden stared at my hand, which still lay over his pounding heart, as if he had only just understood the situation we were in and what we had almost done.

I decided the best thing for me to do was go to my room. But before I could step back, he placed his hand over mine and pressed it against his chest. He lowered his head, and for a moment I was afraid he’d kiss me again. But he didn’t. Instead, he placed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. We stayed in this position, and I felt his heartbeat return to normal.

“I’m going to sleep now,” I murmured.

Kaden stepped back and released my hand. He looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite define—sad and wistful at the same time.

In the end, this had all been meant as a distraction for him. It was oh-so-familiar to me. Three years ago I’d done the exact same thing night after night. It meant nothing.

“Good night, Allie.” Kaden’s voice sounded throaty.

“Good night, Kaden.”





Chapter 15


My pen scratched on the paper as I feverishly wrote my last answer. Just as Professor Falcony’s timer chimed, I put my pen down.

This time I wouldn’t fail. I was 100 percent sure. I turned around to Scott, who was sitting two rows back. He was shuffling his pages into order. When he saw my searching look, he gave me a thumbs-up. I sighed with relief. We’d both made it.

We drove downtown to meet Dawn at an Italian restaurant that supposedly served the best pasta in town. I could already see her red hair when we turned onto the street. Luckily, I found a parking spot close to the restaurant.

Dawn saw us getting out of the car. She raised an arm high and started to wave. She looked jittery.

“How’d it go?” she asked right away, hugging us both.

“Well, I think. At least we could both answer all the questions,” Scott said. He shrugged, but I knew how relieved he was. Same for me.

“I knew you’d make it!” Smiling brilliantly, Dawn turned and pushed open the door to the bistro. The scent of fresh pizza and pasta overcame me, I couldn’t wait to order.

After we’d sat down and looked at the menu, we talked about the exam. Dawn wanted to know every little detail, but Scott and I were exhausted. When the waiter returned and took our order, Scott turned the conversation in another direction: “I think we should go out partying before all the exams from now on,” he said and tore off a piece of the bread that the waiter had brought with our drinks. “I’ve hardly ever slept so well as I did last night.”

I murmured in assent and took a sip of water. “Same here.”

“To be honest, I’m surprised you got any sleep at all last night.” Dawn peered at me over the edge of her glass, and then raised an eyebrow, which disappeared under her bangs.

“What do you mean?”

Scott and Dawn exchanged a glance.

“Yeah, well, you practically threw yourself at Kaden when he disappeared on us yesterday,” Dawn began.

“And then we watched your dance performance,” Scott leaned in a bit over the table.

“Sweetie, you can’t fool us. You didn’t see what we saw,” he added.

I pursed my lips and considered just how much I could—or wanted to—tell my friends.

After last night I hadn’t seen Kaden again. When I left the apartment this morning to do some last minute studying with Scott, Kaden was still asleep. Honestly, I was kind of glad about that—and then I managed to push the entire previous night out of my thoughts … until now.

“Nothing—”

“If you say ‘nothing happened’ then I’m gonna shove your face right into your pasta,” Dawn threatened, her spoon held high, though our food hadn’t even arrived.

Again, I looked from one to the other. Then I sighed and leaned back with arms crossed. “We just danced.”

“Oh yeah, how?” Scott waggled his brows so much that I was almost afraid they’d fall off and crawl toward me like caterpillars.

“So?” Elbows on the table, Dawn stared me down. “Do we have to worry about interrupting you in the middle of something every time we come over?”

“Listen, people, that’s not how it was,” I insisted.

“Then tell us what really happened—come on!” Scott said, his tone playful.

Did I have to? “I just wanted to distract him, okay? Spencer’s stupid comment hurt him, so I went over and danced with him just to take his mind off it.” I paused, seeking the right words. “But he kind of took it the wrong way.”

I ended up telling them that Kaden kissed me, which wasn’t a lie, but made the whole thing seem a little less serious than it had really been. No sooner did I finish telling my story, than the waiter served our pasta, and I smiled up at him. After he’d gone, Scott and Dawn stared at me in disbelief.

“So now what?” Dawn egged me on.

“Hm?” I mumbled with my mouth full.

“What happens next for you two!?” Scott chimed in.

I sighed and set down my fork. “I’m not planning to start anything with Kaden. The situation is out of control.”