Begin Again (Again #1)(32)

I smiled. “There’s pure chaos in my head.”

He returned my smile.

“Tell me something,” I said. “Anything. So I don’t go nuts.”

“What do you want to hear?” he asked and rubbed the back of his head.

“Your tattoos.” I pointed to his crossed arms. “I’d like to know what they mean. Especially the written parts. I’ve always wanted to know about that.”

There it was again, that crooked grin. “Slide over a bit,” he murmured and sat down beside me on the bed.

“Where should I begin?” he asked, as if the situation we were in was completely normal.

I needed a moment to collect my thoughts; then I pointed under his left arm. “With this one.”

Kaden slid closer to me and lifted his left arm to reveal the tattoo in cursive script. “I had this one done when I was sixteen. I drove all the way up to Vancouver to get it done, since no one around here can ink a minor.”

With great power comes great responsibility.

“Spider-Man?” I asked grinning.

Kaden blinked at me, surprised.

“My mom lost it when she saw the tat. I was grounded for at least a month.”

He rubbed his finger over the words.

“Which one’s next?”

“The rings,” I said, and ran my finger over the topmost pattern encircling his biceps. For the first time I noticed that there were a few very finely drawn points and lines above it. As I traced the pattern, Kaden seemed to hold his breath.

“I was between eighteen and nineteen when I had that one made.” He rubbed his thumb over the spot. “I was in a difficult phase. But I got over it. Every ring stands for a month that I survived.”

“Why are they different widths?”

He swallowed hard and avoided my gaze. “The first are wider because I was in the most pain. At some point things eased up, so the circles are thinner.”

“The top one above the rings looks like a kind of code,” I murmured.

“Damn.” Kaden gave a half smile. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

My eyes grew round. “Please don’t tell me it’s the name of your ex, Kaden.”

“Would that be so bad?”

“You poor boy,” I said and patted his arm. “And this reminds you of her every day?”

He shook his head. “I’m not that crazy.”

“No?” I teased, which made him cuff my knee through the blanket. I screeched but Kaden didn’t react.

“It says ‘Rachel’ in Morse code.”

“I hope you didn’t break Rachel’s heart,” I said, looking at the points.

“Yes, I did. With every single tattoo. My mom doesn’t like them.”

“Wait—you got your mom’s named tattooed onto you?” I asked, in surprised.

“What of it?”

I held my hands to my heart.

He made a face. “What’s next?”

I wanted to save the multi-lined text on his other forearm for last. “The feather on your back.”

“You little spy.”

“How can I help it if you drag me to a waterfall and strip in front of me?”

I’d ever seen Kaden smile so much. This whole situation was surreal—I was probably just hallucinating. Or drunk. Definitely drunk.

“I told you about my dad,” he began, and I nodded. Of course, I remembered what he said about this awful man. Kaden looked away and slid back on the bed until he could rest his back on the wall. “The feather is my newest tattoo. This might sound ridiculous … but it stands for freedom. It took me a long time until I managed to split from my father. But ever since I did it, I’ve finally felt free. The feather is there so I never forget.”

At that moment that lightning struck.

“You have no idea just how well I can imagine that. I wish I had a feather somewhere on my body,” I murmured.

He looked down at me and smiled. “After having the honor of meeting your mother, I believe it.”

I stiffened. I didn’t want to think about my mother. Not now. I pointed to the last tattoo. “What does this writing mean?”

Kaden twisted his body and showed me the inner side of his arm. I squinted.

It’s time to forget about the past

To wash away what happened last

Hide behind an empty face

Don’t ask too much, just say

‘Cause this is just a game

I held my breath. It couldn’t be true. Kaden couldn’t have these exact words on his arm.

“Oh my God,” I exclaimed in disbelief.

It was the second stanza of A Beautiful Lie by Thirty Seconds to Mars. The lyrics of my favorite song were tattooed on Kaden’s arm.

I blinked several times, but the black letters remained.

“I think we have more in common than you think, Bubbles.” Kaden lowered his arm and slid down a bit so we were lying next to one another. I turned on my side. My heart was pounding wildly.

I looked up. His caramel-colored eyes were gleaming.

“I should go,” he murmured.

“You should.”

Neither of us made any attempt to get up. Instead, we looked at each other until my eyelids became heavy. Enveloped by Kaden’s spicy fragrance and the warmth of his body, and with his stories in my ear, I fell asleep.