Be a Doll(79)

“You’re offering me the perfect excuse to leave the apartment.’’

Her thin eyebrows furrowed in question, but I shook my head, not ready to talk about her brother. I needed a distraction and talking about someone else’s issues was exactly what I needed, not that I was good at giving advice or that I was used to listening to other people’s woes. I’ve been taught at the Manor to keep my mess to myself and even before my years at the Manor I had never been one to confide in people and the others around me were quite the same.

“Megan, what’s wrong? You look like…’’

“A mess?’’ She sighed down her cup of hot chocolate. She shrugged and then unwound her deep green and cream scarf from around her neck and absentmindedly dropped it on the back of her chair on top of her leather jacket. “I didn’t sleep much last night.’’

“Your date didn’t go well?’’

“Let’s just say that I should have come to dinner when you invited me.’’

I kept my face relaxed, but in my head I thanked her for not coming to the debacle. “Is that why you didn’t sleep?’’ I pushed away my hair when it fell into my face and gently took a sip of my coffee, glad that it warmed my chilled fingers from the cold weather outside the coffee shop.

“Yes and no.’’

She glared at her hot chocolate and pushed it away before her green eyes fixed on me. I was good at reading people, something I had picked up on during my training at Carter Manor, and Megan was showing all the signs of someone worried sick about something. Sudden concern made me grip my coffee mug tighter. I liked Megan and while it was something I knew from the day a week ago when I met her on the wedding day, it only became more blatant as my heart sped up at what could possibly be wrong with my sister-in-law.

“Megan?’’

“That date made me realize something I’ve been trying to fight for a while now and I…’’ she trailed off, her voice getting choked as her eyes welled up with tears. “I don’t know what to do, Lila. I need to talk to someone and my friends… they wouldn’t understand or they would spread rumors and I don’t want…’’

I gently put a hand on hers and was surprised at finding her fingers so cold still after holding her mug. “You’ve welcomed me with open arms, Megan. The least I can do is listen and keep your secret.’’

“You can’t say anything to Mathis.’’

“I won’t.’’ I squeezed her hand and offered her a small smile. “We’re not big on sharing every aspect of our lives anyway.’’

She chuckled a little then, probably at picturing Mathis opening up and being caring and sweet, something I had a hard time seeing myself even if he did open up to me last night. I quickly banished that thought and gave Megan all of my attention.

“You’re going to think it’s ridiculous.’’ She shook her head and color rose to her cheeks in embarrassment.

“You didn’t judge me for being a hired wife and you could have. I’m not going to judge you either.’’

She took a deep breath and nodded. “The first time Mathis brought Chance home I got a huge crush on him and it never went away.’’

I blinked at her, completely taken by surprise. I thought back to the wedding and even when I remembered Chance and Megan exchanging a few polite words, I didn’t pick up on her feelings for him. “Were you on a date with him?’’

“No.’’ She grabbed her hot chocolate again and took a sip, her eyes still on me as if gauging how I took that news. In truth, I was surprised but it wasn’t like I had been in all of their lives a long time so the impact wasn’t that important. “I went out with a man hoping he’d be able to make me forget Chance, but it failed and actually it made me realize how deep my feelings for him run.’’

“Does he know?’’

Her green eyes got bigger and she shook her head vehemently, eyeing other tables around us as if to ensure nobody was listening. “Of course not. I was a gangly kid when we met for the first time and he’s never seen me like a woman. I’m the little sister of his best friend. It’s not going to change.’’

“You don’t know that.’’ I frowned at her defeated face and the sadness I saw reflected in her eyes. “It’s true that Mathis is quite the obstacle and would very well hinder a relationship between you and Chance, but if you can’t forget him and you’re unhappy in this situation, you should do something. I’m not saying Chance will fall in your arms, but at least you’ll know for sure.’’

“Right,’’ she said and laughed humorlessly. “I’ve never went out of my way to call the guy or meet up with him and I should just walk up to him and give him my heart on a platter so he can give me his charming smile and a speech on how he sees me like a kid, his best friend’s sister and nothing else.’’

“You have no idea what he’d say or how he’d react. You could get your heart broken, but don’t you think it’s best to get your heart broken once and move on rather than being stuck on a guy for years and failing at every relationship you have because he’s the one in your heart? If he’s still in your heart after all this time, it means a small part of you holds onto hope. At some point in life you have to make decisions.’’