Be a Doll(38)
“It must have been…’’ she trailed off, her eyes full of compassion as she stared at me, probably seeing me in another light.
Knowing that my past wasn’t a secret anymore made me want to wriggle and escape her scrutiny, but I held on. I wouldn’t shy from where I came from. My past life built me as much if not more than my time spent at Carter Manor because while at Carter Manor I was taught how to behave in high society, my life before taught me how to be resilient, how to be strong and how you had to protect the softest parts of yourself if you didn’t want to lose yourself entirely. I had to remember those lessons.
“It’s in the past.’’
“But why don’t you want Mathis to know? I mean, he’s your husband even if this isn’t a conventional marriage.’’
“Megan, come on,’’ I said, dropping all pretenses. My shoulders slouched. “This is a mess. Your brother and I have nothing in common. This is a business arrangement and I don’t think he’s really that interested in my past. All he cares about is that I fulfill my duty as his wife in the face of his clients.’’ What I didn’t say was that he also wanted me to spread my legs just to better break me and make me submit to him, losing that last parcel of will and of myself to this marriage, to him.
“If you don’t try to make it work, it’s going to be a nightmare.’’
I smiled, but the smile was painful to my face. It couldn’t hide the despair that sometimes appeared and took over my whole self to push away my strength and shields so carefully built over the years.
“My life had been a nightmare for a very long time. I’m used to it.’’
MATHIS
With the door to my office wide open I was all too aware of my employees nearby, rendering the urge to swear loudly. Instead, I was reduced to clenching my hands into tight fists on top of my desk on either side of the keyboard while I made a good attempt at cracking my teeth with the way I gritted them.
“Sir?’’ Jonatan’s voice interrupted my growing need to erupt into a nasty litany of curses.
I stared at my assistant standing hesitantly in his suit on the threshold with documents in hand. Jonatan was a year younger than me, which was rather young to make him my assistant, but he had been there almost from the get-go and more than once he had showed me his skills at handling everything I would throw at him. I was demanding in most aspects of my life, but I believed that my job made me exceptionally demanding and I always expected the utmost efficiency in my employees.
“Good, you’re here. I need you to put my wife through for me and hold off any other calls until further notice.’’
He nodded and walked in, holding the documents for me to see. “Right away, sir. Here are the reports from ProTech you asked for. I don’t really know why they sent them to me, but I printed them.’’
I grabbed the documents and threw them over the keyboard. “I’ve been asking for these reports since last Wednesday. It’s Monday. They knew how I’d react upon receiving them so late.’’ I shook my head and muttered under my breath, “Cowards.’’
“Do you want… uh… a coffee, sir?’’
I glared at Jonatan, knowing full well that he was hoping I wouldn’t say yes. Considering I was a ticking bomb today, more caffeine in my blood made my explosion more imminent.
“No. Put my wife through on the phone and then filter incoming calls for me. That will be all for now.’’
He nodded and promptly left my office, walking noticeably faster than when he came in. When the door closed after him I leaned back in my chair and let my eyes fall on the thick platinum band on my finger. It still felt foreign and not just the ring, but also the fact that I was a married man, that I gave my name to a woman, that I had someone at home, sharing my bed.
If I had had any doubts regarding my choice to marry before today, this hell of a day told me I made the right call.
The phone on the desk rang and I immediately picked it up. “Lila?’’
“Why did your assistant call me? You couldn’t have done it yourself?’’
No doubt there, it was my wife. “Don’t push me,’’ I growled in the phone and turned my chair around to face the view, hoping that the buildings around and the outside world as a whole would calm me down enough not to bite the head of the person I needed the help of. Knowing my wife’s temperament I needed to know when to push and when not to if I didn’t want her to embarrass me. That’s the downside of following my damn cock instead of playing it safe and picking another woman at Carter Manor that would have been so bland and polished I would have known without a doubt what to expect in any and all situations.
Silence stretched out until I sighed loudly into the phone. “Remember when I told you that marrying you was for business?’’
“It’s not like it’s anything else, so yes.’’
She’s a real pain. I leaned back further in the chair and brought a hand to my mouth, tracing my lower lip with my finger. “Good. Then let’s put to good use your training from the Manor tonight.’’
“Tonight? What’s—‘’
“Can you listen to me at least once without questioning me?’’ I asked brusquely, my voice betraying how frazzled I truly was when I would have liked to let only a peek of my annoyance and maybe short fuse. That shut her up. “I had to invite a couple for dinner at home tonight. The man is difficult. We’re supposed to be working together on a merger for one of my companies and he’s trying to find anything to back out. It started out with the fact that I was only invested in my work and had no real family life and now it’s time to prove him wrong and hopefully unstick the situation.’’