A Life More Complete(84)
He takes a deep breath and begins to talk just to fill the silence. Ironic, right?
“I knew you were pregnant when you called me. That’s why I called you back right away.” I’m confused. He can sense that and continues without waiting for my response. “Remember your sister’s wedding?” he asks and I nod. “We were both drunk and well, you know.” Did he honestly think that was a suitable explanation for how I ended up pregnant? Although I know what he’s eluding at I expect more detail than his vague answer. I stare at him, my eyes wide and questioning hoping he continues with his admission. He says nothing more.
“I know what? That we had sex without a condom? I don’t even remember having sex with you that night.”
“Obviously that’s what happened. It was the only time, so the good news is we know the exact date of conception,” he says trying to make light of the situation.
I don’t even bother to argue due to the finality of it. I’m pregnant and debating the right and wrong of it seems like at moot point.
“I know. But your life is about to change. You sure you’re ready?” He takes a deep breath and nods his head. I climb into his lap. “I hope the baby is a boy, because if it’s a girl she doesn’t stand a chance. With a father like you, shit, she’s in trouble. Can you say, overprotective? I fear for her first boyfriend.”
“I hope it’s a girl and I hope she looks just like you,” he says as he leans in for a kiss. “I love you,” Tyler says. He puts his hands on my belly and I start to cry. I can’t even begin to understand why I’m crying. This is exactly the outcome I was hoping for yet I can’t get past the feeling that something could still go wrong. He strokes my hair and shushes into my ear, but like always it makes me cry harder.
“Will you please stop crying? You’re killing me. From now on, no more crying.” He’s firm in his words and I pull myself together. We fall asleep talking about baby names. My evening is complete and as my eyes grow heavy I pray that everything falls into place.
One week later Tyler and I find ourselves in my OB’s exam room with me wearing a paper gown. His leg is bouncing up and down nervously as he sits across from me in a straight-backed chair. He checks his phone far too many times, scratches his neck and wipes his hands down his pants at least three times in the last five minutes.
“What’s taking so long?” he asks looking up from his phone.
“I don’t know. Pregnant people have a lot of questions?” A soft knock startles both of us and we turn to look at the door. My doctor appears in the doorway carrying my chart and a few other items. She gets right down to it. She introduces herself to Tyler and then begins my internal exam. I wince and Tyler stands to hold my hand.
“Yep, you’re definitely pregnant,” she says jotting notes in my chart. She quickly goes over the due date and hands me a folder. “This should answer any questions you have about your pregnancy. Take some time to read over it when you get home.” I’m floored by how quickly the exam is over, not to mention how aloof she is about the whole thing. I know I’m not the first pregnant woman in the world, but I was expecting more than a three minute appointment. I stop her abruptly as she begins to exit the room.
“Dr. Payne? I have a few questions I was hoping you could answer for me.” She turns to look at me and takes a seat on the swivel stool that she had just vacated.
“Sure,” she doesn’t sound happy, but she isn’t as annoyed as I expected. I look at Tyler and I struggle to find the appropriate way to ask what I need to.
“Well, this pregnancy is unexpected, but that doesn’t mean I, I mean we, aren’t thrilled. In saying that, I obviously didn’t know I was pregnant...” I try to continue but I’m mortified by my behavior during all those nights I was out drinking with Melinda. I didn’t come clean to Tyler and now I’m doing it in front of the doctor. “I’d been drinking pretty heavily for the past few weeks. This was before I knew I was pregnant.” I pause and look at Tyler and then back at the doctor.
“Well, Kristin, I assume you know that drinking during pregnancy is not recommended and I’m sure you are fully aware of the major problems that can stem from it. But in all honesty, life happens, birth control fails and I know you’re a smart person who would never risk the health of her baby for a drink. If it appeases your mind, the baby doesn’t begin to develop organs until around the fourth or fifth week. You are just now in your sixth week of pregnancy, so try not to worry. The likelihood of anything coming to fruition is slim.”