A Life More Complete(88)



My emotions run wild and a small part of me hopes that she has found out that I’m pregnant and is calling with congratulatory remarks. This pregnancy just might be what is needed to salvage any inkling of family we may have left. After all she is the baby’s grandma. I answer the phone with benefit of the doubt replaying over in my head. It’s gone so well for the first two conversations, maybe third time’s a charm.

“Hello?” I answer with more enthusiasm than necessary.

“Kristin, this is your mother,” she says. “I’m calling to inform you that your father has passed away.” Without pausing to allow this to sink in she continues at a quick pace all the while I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the call is not about my pregnancy. “The wake and funeral services will need to be arranged by the next of kin. That is you and your sisters. If you are unable to make it back to Illinois to take care of this your father will become an unclaimed body. The state of Illinois will bury him. The choice is yours. I just thought you should know. I already spoke to Rachel. Will you please call Courtney? Thank you. Good-bye.”

She hangs up before I can even speak. It was gigantic one-sided conversation that was basically a string of run-on sentences due to the speed she delivered them. I slide down into the kitchen chair. I’m shocked to say the least, but I’m even more shocked at my own stupidity. I can’t believe I would even for a second consider that her contacting me would hold any purpose other than to convey information. A business transaction. I can picture her calling from the kitchen of the house I grew up in; a hand on her hip, her blonde hair swept into a neat chignon, tailored business suit with a glass of wine in her hand. It’s the way she looked every day of my life. I’m sure the reason she placed the call when she did is because in just under an hour she will be drunk.

I call Rachel as soon as my mother hangs up on me. At least she was able to gather a little more information regarding our father’s whereabouts and how quickly we will need to arrive in Illinois. Rachel and Paul are flying back to Illinois on Thursday, which is two days from now. Rachel takes over calling Maizey while I make what arrangements I can over the phone. We both agree before hanging up that burying our father will be something that is not left to the state of Illinois, even though we haven’t seen him in years.

I call Tyler for third time with the same straight to voicemail response. Seconds later I get a text from him.

Tyler: What do you want? Working late. Big case starts on Tuesday.

Me: My dad died.

Tyler: Sorry. L Can we talk later? Super busy.

I have to check my phone for a second time because I am completely astounded by his use of a frowny face in reference to my father’s death. Really? A frowny face? What are we, fifteen? I can only respond with a one word answer because what I really want to send in one message will be broken into multiple messages and Tyler will give his usual response. “TL; DR”.

Me: Sure

I pick up the phone and call Melinda and she doesn’t answer, so I call Bob.

“Hey, can you meet me for dinner tonight? Or at least a drink? I know I can’t drink, but you know what I mean.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“My dad died and Tyler is working late. I don’t really feel like being alone.”

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry. I know you weren’t close with your dad, but still. That doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I think it makes it worse. The guilt is unreal.” I choke back the tears that have been threatening since hanging up with Rachel.

“Name the place and I’ll be there. Did you call Mel?”

“I called her, but she didn’t answer. You want to meet at Richmond?” I know his response even before I say it, but I still ask and when he declines I’ve got the pregnancy card in my back pocket.

“Richmond in El Segundo? Eww, no, they don’t have gluten free beer, but I will, because your dad just died. You owe me. I’ll be there in two days.”

“Stop being dramatic, just get here. I figured I was going to have to play the pregnancy card, but now I can use it later. Either way the baby wants teriyaki beef sliders. I’ll meet you by the front door.”

“Okay. I’ll call Mel again before I leave. See you soon and again, I’m sorry about your dad, love.”

“I know. Thanks. Bye.”

I change out of my work clothes into a pair of yoga pants, because by the end of the day the thought of buttoning a pair of jeans makes my stomach literally hurt. I wash my face, brush my teeth and pull on a short sleeve t-shirt. I send Tyler a quick text.

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