A Life More Complete(91)

Bob answers immediately, probably because he is still sequestered to his car on the ridiculously long commute that he so willing obliged just to make me happy.

“You alright, honey?” he asks without even saying hello.

“Yeah. I just need to vent to someone right now. This shit with Melinda has me upset, and my dad dying and now Tyler is being a total dick. He refuses to fly home to Chicago with me.” It comes out whiny and I’m not surprised.

“Vent away.”

“I’m so pissed at Melinda right now I can’t even think straight. I know we’ve been over this like a million times already, but I’m just so mad. How dare she. I feel like her sleeping with Ben somehow cheapens everything I ever had with him. I loved him. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

“I’m gonna stop you right there. You know I love you, baby girl, but you are a damn mess. He’s not your boyfriend anymore. Your beef should be with Tyler. He’s the reason you’re so angry and the reason you’re obsessing over Ben. Are you really gonna stay mad at Melinda on a technicality? So, she went out with your ex. You’re married and pregnant BY ANOTHER MAN!” he shouts so loudly I pull the phone away from my ear. When I don’t say anything he begins again. “Mel is one of your best friends and I get it, what she did was shitty, but get over it. I think it’s about high time you took a look at your relationship with Tyler and ask yourself if it’s worth it.”

I can’t acknowledge his comments about my marriage because there is far too much truth in his words. “I didn’t plan on staying mad at Melinda forever. At that moment I couldn’t say, ‘I am only going to be mad at you for two weeks,’ and then walk away. I think it would’ve seemed insincere and far less dramatic. I need to let things settle down between us, but eventually I’ll talk to her again.”

“Good. I’m not sure I could have stayed neutral forever. But just so you know, I would’ve picked you if I had to choose.” I know he’s smiling, I can hear it in his voice.

“Why do you have to be gay? Right now we could be married and living a calm drama-free existence.”

“Honey, there’s no such thing. We’d have killed each other a long time ago. Do you want me to come with you to Chicago so you’re not alone? I could play the doting husband if you like?”

“You play doting husband better than my real one ever could, but no. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to come. I just never expected him to be so....”

“Heartless,” Bob says filling in my words because I don’t have the resolution to say it myself. Saying it out loud would be like admitting I failed.

“I gotta go. I’m exhausted. I’ll call you tomorrow,” I say cutting the conversation short. The thought of delving any deeper may bring me to admit my future with Tyler is unclear.

“Alright. Talk to you tomorrow. You and that baby get some rest. Love you.”

“Love you, too”





---Chapter 28---





When I wake the next morning Tyler is gone for the day and I resign myself not to contact him, which will be a huge feat if I accomplish it. For some reason I just can’t let him go. I chase him like a high school girl, which just pushes him away. Both of us will give each other the silent treatment and eventually I’ll cave and forgive him because that’s what I do. It’s just the way it is; he expects it. But today, I will not chase him.

I show up at work and breeze by the door to Melinda’s office and spend the better part of the morning avoiding her. Sending things to the printer in marketing so I don’t happen to run into her, going to the bathroom during our morning meeting, sending Maggie to scour the lounge for crap to eat and something I never do, keeping my office door closed. I’m getting so good at avoidance; if there were a career in it, I’d be the vice president.

I leave for lunch and when I return there is a little brown box on my desk. Happily, I hop over to it, beaming smile, clapping my hands quietly as I sit down in my chair. Immediately, Tyler comes to mind. I knew my silent treatment would pay off. Like I said, I’m so good at avoidance it comes baring gifts. But when I flip the card open it says,

Hope today is better, cupcake.

Love you,

Bob

I open the box and pull out the Sprinkles red velvet cupcake and let the sadness wash over me. I’m pathetic. My gay best friend is sending me sympathy in the form of desserts, my husband is a straight up * and I can’t stop thinking about my ex-boyfriend as I watch my friendship with my former best friend crumble over a guy that was never really mine to begin with. I stuff the cupcake in my mouth and call it a day.