A Life More Complete(44)

---Chapter 12---





I call Melinda as soon as I close my door. She picks up on the first ring and lays into me immediately.

“Ok, spill,” she says.

I mill around my house picking up shoes and socks, tossing a load of laundry in while I deliver the whole story. I start from the beginning, our beginning. I tell her how we met in high school and then went to college together. I tell her about the cheating and how I slept with his best friend. She gets the whole story and everything in between, even the stupid boring details. She interjects for clarification and laughs with me and at some points I think she feels my pain. Everyone’s been there. The break ups and the makeups and the really terrible times when things were so bad.

“He’s totally hot,” she says.

“I know. Disgusting, isn’t it? I still can’t believe this is happening. He’s married.”

“Holy shit! No way? You managed to leave that out of the story. Are you sleeping with a married man?” Only Melinda would ask that question. To her that’s the ultimate scandal and since we’ve seen that scenario play out on many occasions with our clients, I’d have to agree with her. You’re forever labeled, a slut, a home wrecker, a whore, everyone knows what they say about “that girl”, the one who leads a husband astray.

“Um, Mel, I’m not sleeping with him at all and anyway, he’s getting a divorce.”

“So you’ve thought about it, then? Otherwise you wouldn’t care if he were married. Either way, you should totally sleep with him. He’s probably way better in bed than he was when you were young. Plus he’s totally hot. Did I mention that already?”

“I’m not going to sleep with him.” Even as the words leave my mouth I don’t believe them. I can’t stop thinking about him and I’m pretty sure even though I’d put up a fight, I’ll give in eventually.

“Whatever. Tell yourself whatever you need to. What’s his wife like anyway?”

“Her name is Charlotte...” Melinda interrupts me before I can finish.

“Like Tracksuit Charlotte?” she asks. This is why I love Melinda.

“That’s exactly what I thought!”

“Yucky,” Melinda says in response.

“I know. I don’t know much about her, except that she’s a lawyer too and it sounds like it ended badly.”

“Perfect. Move in. He’s on the rebound. So are you. Couldn’t be more fitting.”

“No,” I say just as I hear a knock on my door. “Hold on Mel, someone’s knocking.”

“Oh my God, it’s him!” she screams into the phone.

“No, it’s not.” But as I open the door, she is proved correct. “Mel, gotta go. Call you later.”

“You bitch! You better be in bed...” I hear her yell as I hang up.

I can feel everything in my body tingle. I hate how weak I feel around him. He stands in my doorway smiling and he looks so good. “Can I come in?” he asks.

“You just left,” I say, confused. I step aside and he enters, standing in the hallway that leads to my kitchen.

“I forgot to tell you something,” he says as he makes his way into the kitchen. He pulls a chair out and sits down.

“Okay. You want a beer?” This is more for me than it is for him. I feel like a drink might make this go a little easier. I have an uneasy feeling and judging by the look on his face he is unsure of what he is about to tell me.

“Sure.” I pull two beers from the fridge and hand one to him. I sit down in the chair across from him as he takes a long drink and I follow suit. “I wasn’t totally honest with you on why my marriage ended and I feel like I should be. I’ve lied to you so many times in the past and I know now what I did to you was wrong on so many levels.” He takes a deep breath before he begins to speak. “I’ll start with an apology. I’m sorry for all the times I hurt you in the past. I was a terrible person and when I finally lost you it was so hard on me. Harder than I ever thought it would be. I ended up with Charlotte because I was trying to get over you. I married her because I was trying to replace you. My marriage ended long before it even began. I loved you more than I ever loved Charlotte and she knew it. You can only lie to yourself for so long.” He takes another long swallow of his beer and sighs. “I’ve been driving around for the last twenty minutes trying to figure out what to say to you, but it really came out much less graceful than I imagined in my head.” He smiles at me shyly as I sit there stunned. “Say something, anything. Tell me you hate me, whatever. I just need you to say something.” His voice is uneasy and it quivers just a little.