A Life More Complete(41)
I fill him in as we walk to the car. “I was on my way home from work about a week after we broke up.” I pause letting it sink in and hoping he doesn’t bring up the reason he left me. The moment passes and I continue quickly. “It was late. I had bartended that night, so it was around three and a drunk driver hit me head on. She was going the wrong way and I didn’t notice until the last minute. It was too late to swerve and she hit me. Hard.”
“Were you hurt?” His voice is filled with concern. It’s odd to me that he would be concerned about something that happened so long ago. It’s over and obviously I’m fine.
“I broke my cheekbone from the air bag impact. I also had two broken ribs and a punctured lung. It wasn’t too bad. The paramedic said it would’ve been worse without my seat belt and the air bag.”
“How did I not know about this?”
“It was a strange time, Tyler. I didn’t want you there and I know you wouldn’t have wanted to be there either.” I remember the car accident like it was yesterday and I also remember siting in the ER as I picked up the phone multiple times to call him. I felt like I was being a martyr if I called him; that I somehow had caused the accident just to bring him back to me. My logic sounded completely clear at the time. Bringing him there to see me injured and upset would make him want me, forgive me for what I had done, yet it all seemed like a contrived plan.
“I apologize. I should have been there.”
“Water under the bridge.” I stop at my car and he starts laughing. “What?”
“This is your car?” He points at my silver Cabrio, still laughing. “Awesome. This is even better than the Neon.”
“I’m glad you like it. A little piece of home.”
It’s a near replica of the one I had in high school, just newer. We both climb in and as I start the car he says, “You wanna make out in it for old times sake.” I feel my cheeks flush and I shake my head at him. I can’t answer because my answer might just be “yes”. I can see myself straddling him in the passenger seat. His hands in my shirt, over my bra, my lips pressed to his as I lower myself down against the bulge in his jeans. We’re sixteen again and the urgency and need so intense that it wreaks havoc on my senses and makes him grope me without any regard for the possibility of people watching. I stop short of my daydream becoming a nightmare as I almost drive off the road. If he noticed, he doesn’t mention it.
He directs me to The Beverly Hilton and I feel a little guilty that he is staying at a hotel, but I admonish myself for even thinking of having him stay with me. That’s just asking for trouble. We make quiet conversation and I ask how long he is in town and he says indefinitely. He tells me that there is nothing left for him in Chicago with the divorce and everything. His car is being delivered today as well as the rest of his stuff when he can find a place to live. He jokes that his stuff will hopefully make it here. It’s still in the house he shared with his wife. I learn that her name is Charlotte and for some reason all I can picture is a temp we had at the office when Maggie broke her wrist. She was a debutant who hadn’t worked a day in her life and she once wore a Juicy Couture tracksuit on casual Friday. I couldn’t stand her and Melinda took to calling her “Tracksuit” for the three weeks she filled in for Maggie. I picture her applying lip gloss and obsessively primping her hair. If they had had kids she would be pushing a Bugaboo stroller down a sidewalk in Lincoln Park wearing heels and talking on her cell. Their baby cooing and giggling, because God forbid this perfect woman have a colicky baby. Why am I spending so much time on this?
Tyler asks me if I want to stay and have a drink by the pool. I’m beginning to lose trust in my conviction to stay away from him, so I decline. He steps out of the car and leaning down through the open door, he smiles at me. His eyes are pale blue, almost transparent, peaceful and confident. I could get lost just staring at them and I do for a moment.
“It was great seeing you again. I’m sure I’ll see you around,” he says.
“Yeah. I guess we’re together now,” I say winking at him. The look on his face tells me he remembers this line. It was the same line he used on me the day we met.
“Kristin, are you flirting with me? Shameless,” he says, shaking his head with a devious smile on his face and I know he is anything but offended.
“Me? Never. I’ll see you around, Tyler.” He begins to close the door and I stop him. I hand him my business card and tell him to call if he needs anything. I know he is new in town and I’m just trying to be hospitable or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.