A Life More Complete(43)
When my grandparents died my sisters and I inherited a significant amount of money. It was specified in the will that we were to use the money as we saw fit, but suggestions were posted to obtain a college degree and purchase a home with the money. Being on my own, I hoarded the money, terrified of being unable to support myself. I spent a minimal amount of my inheritance during my four years in college. Tyler covered my living expenses, my food, and at one point, my tuition for my entire sophomore year. I paid cash for my first year at CSULB and planned on taking student loans for the rest. I needed the money I had from my inheritance to sustain me until I found a stable job. Tyler stepped in and paid my tuition in full. He never said it, but I knew it was him. He covered the next semester too when the bill came. He is the reason I finished college, the reason I had the money to buy a car when mine was a goner and the reason I live in the home I do today. My inheritance would have only lasted so long and he knew I couldn’t go back.
“I’m supposed to go look at places tomorrow with a real estate agent. I was hoping you’d join me. Give me a hand? Your opinion?” he asks.
I hesitate and then answer him. “It’s nice of you to ask, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. You’ll be fine on your own.”
“Are you sure? I’d just like your opinion. Nothing more. I promise. I won’t even buy you lunch,” he teases. He can see the reluctance in my eyes, so he folds his hands in front of him and says, “Please.” I’m weak, so I give in. He looks far too thrilled with himself and it makes me smile.
Tyler pays for dinner and we walk along the beach. The wind has picked up and it runs over me causing me to shiver. Goose bumps rise on my skin from my arms down to my legs. Tyler reaches over and runs a slow soft hand down the length of my arm. I hold my breath. His touch burns my skin and my fingertips begin to tingle. I turn away from him quickly, my eyes focused on the sand.
“Are you cold?” he asks, running his hand back up my arm. The air in my lungs blows out on its own accord. This time my breathing speeds up and turns uneven.
“Yes, but now it’s more than just that.” The words stumble from my mouth, disjointed; a mess. “Don’t touch me. It’s just that I...I don’t know. I can’t have you touching... doing, um, that stuff. It makes me, I don’t know. Just don’t. That’s all.” I have no idea what I just spewed from my mouth, and I can tell by the look on Tyler’s face that neither does he. But his words tell me my point is made.
“Okay, sorry. I didn’t realize it made you so uncomfortable. To me, it’s like we picked up right where we left off. It doesn’t feel like I haven’t seen you in seven years. With you it’s easy. It always has been.”
“Sorry. I’m being ridiculous.”
“I just remember you were always cold. No matter how warm it was outside you’d still sleep with a down comforter on the bed. Made me sweat my ass off.” He laughs and I playfully elbow him as we walk.
“Still am and you’re not the only one who complains about the down comforter.” This is where I decide to tell him about Ben. “My ex really hated it, too. Complained constantly, even more than you.” I take a deep breath. “We broke up recently.” I fail to mention just how recently, like just over seventy-two hours ago. What the hell am I doing? “We’d been together for a while. I guess around three years, but it didn’t work out. It happens, right?” He nods his head but doesn’t comment. We walk in silence the rest of way home until I spot his car.
“Really, Tyler? A Range Rover? Come on?”
“What can I say? I succumbed to the pressures of high society. Without you around to keep me grounded I just couldn’t stop myself.” He smiles a closed mouthed smile and his eyes wrinkle a bit at the corners. All I can do is laugh. “Well, good night, Kristin or can I call you Krissy?”
“If you must,” I reply. He extends a hand to me. I look down at his hand as I put my hand on his chest. I lean in and place a soft kiss on his cheek. I can feel his heart beat quicken under my hand. It has the same effect on me. “Good night, Tyler.”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow around 8:00,” he says quietly, slightly askewed. “Unless that’s too early.”
“Nope. 8:00 is fine,” I say as I walk away.
I immediately notice that the dull ache in my chest is gone replaced by a desire to be close to Tyler. It takes only a second for me to realize the best way to get over Ben is to find a rebound. It will dull the pain long enough for me to move on. Being with Tyler curbs my need for Ben, eases my pain, but with Tyler there are conditions, outside factors that could make it difficult. It’s when we cross the line from harmless flirting to something more that things get complicated. I’ve been there before and I’m pretty sure I’m teetering on the edge right now.