A Life More Complete(16)
“No! I’m coming with you.” I walk close behind him, flipping on every light in the house as I go. He looks through the peephole before opening the door.
“Shit! It’s Trini and she looks like hell,” he says over his shoulder. He opens the door and she rushes in, pushing him out of her way.
“What the hell?” she screams.
I mutter, “Great,” as she shoves me. Ben begins to laugh, but quells it when he realizes it will only make things worse. “Trini, it’s after midnight.”
“Why didn’t you answer any of my calls? I’ve been calling you all night!” She’s screaming. Her eyes are red-rimmed from crying, her nose red, lips swollen.
“What is going on?” I can hear the panic in my voice.
“I’m f*cking pregnant!” she hisses and I can smell the alcohol on her breath. Out of the corner of my eye I see Ben leave the room.
“What? How? Are you sure?” I mumble out a series of questions. How? Did I really just say that?
“Yes, I’m sure! Three tests! Three f*cking tests! All the same!” Her voice is loud and shrill.
I stand there staring at her not sure what to say. My face shocked, my eyes wide with fear and sympathy. There is no way she is equipped to cope with this, nor will her career or her lifestyle allow her to deal with it privately. Thrust into the spotlight, her entire life has been scrutinized by the world for so long, this too will become public speculation.
“Does anyone else know?” I ask quietly hoping the answer is “no”.
“Just Luke. And now you and...” she pauses and says Ben’s name with disgust.
“Trini, you know he won’t tell anyone.” We make our way to my extra bedroom and climb onto the bed. “What did Luke say?” I question.
“He told me we’d be done if I didn’t have an abortion.” Tears begin falling from her eyes. I pull her into a hug and she wraps herself around me like a small child. She cries in my arms for a long time before pulling away. I let her cry as long as she needs. I know what it feels like to be told to control your emotions and I would never begrudge her the ability to grieve. I know she’s already made her choice, but I still ask.
“What do you want to do? Just know that this is your choice.” I don’t lecture her. I wouldn’t dare, not at a moment like this. I know she thinks she loves Luke and I would never tell her otherwise. She is too young to understand that life changes, people change, they grow apart and Luke won’t always be the center of her world. She’ll realize it, someday.
“I can’t have this baby.” As the words leave her lips I feel myself begin to cry with her. Both of us mourning the loss of what might have been. I lie next to her in bed both of us sobbing, hers tapering off as she drifts to sleep. I kiss her forehead before leaving her alone.
Ben is still awake when I climb into bed with him. I press myself against his back and curl my legs into his, a perfect fit. I kiss his back and close my eyes. I know I won’t sleep.
“Is she okay?” he asks.
“She will be. She’s not going to have the baby.”
“What other choice does she have?” He pities her, too. I hear it in his voice.
“I know, but it’s still hard.”
“You’re good to her. She needs you more than you realize. You’re all she’s got.” I feel that tingle that comes right before you cry shudder through my body. Tears pool in my eyes as I press harder against Ben. I know he’s right. I’ve never had a relationship with any of my clients like I have with Trini. Sometimes I know too much, sometimes it makes it hard to deal with her in a professional manner, but tonight I wouldn’t want her to be anywhere else.
Morning arrives too soon and Ben slips out quietly. He kisses me softly and pulls me into his embrace. He whispers something into my ear, but I’m too dazed to focus. I don’t hear it.
I grab my BlackBerry from my nightstand to email Ellie letting her know I won’t be in for the next few days. I make a few quick phone calls and everything is arranged in a matter of minutes. It’s amazing how easily the world falls to its knees when there are large sums of money involved. I shower and then wake Trini. She looks awful. Her eyes are swollen and red matching the puffiness of her lips. She showers and changes into some of my clothes. Neither one of us speaks the entire ride to the airport. It’s not until we arrive at LAX that she asks where we’re going.