A Life More Complete(14)
I try to pinpoint exactly when it became a chore, a task, something I despised, yet I can’t put my finger on it. I know it was a few years after I started. Somewhere between Trini’s meltdown in ‘03 and getting bitch slapped by a former client in ‘04. I just know this is not where I pictured myself when I double majored in journalism and public relations. I didn’t intend to stay on with Ellie for more than a few years, but I got sucked in. I needed a job and she offered me one. Being on my own didn’t help and when the money began to roll in I knew I couldn’t leave.
I pick up Chinese food on the way home and Ben and I eat on my balcony. We finish eating and settle on the couch. I curl up against Ben as he slouches down and flips through the channels. Roxy hops next to me and spins in a circle before coming to rest against my legs.
“Did you work today?” I ask.
“Yeah. I did. I’m a sucker. What can I say?” He yawns and pulls me closer to his body. “How was your day?”
“Fine. The usual crap. Answered emails, too many phone calls, Trini did something stupid.”
“No shit? What’d she do now?”
“Didn’t wear underwear and the paparazzi caught it on camera. I’m sure your ex from high school is judging her right now.” He laughs and I feel his chest rise and fall against my head.
“She never learns, does she? But if she did I guess your job would be pretty dull.”
“Right now I’d give anything to be cleaning pools instead of this shit.”
“I know where you can get a job, but just know the grass isn’t always greener,” he says as he shrugs his shoulders.
“I just might take you up on that offer. But right now I have a better offer.” I stand up and reach for his hand tugging him toward the bedroom. His eyes widen and he comes willingly.
We lay together my body curled around his. “Are you staying tonight?” I want his answer to be yes more than anything.
“Of course. You might pull the rug out from underneath me at anytime, so I’m sticking to you like glue.” He reaches over and gently brushes a loose strand of hair out of my eyes. His hand lingers as his fingertips trail along my cheek, then trace my lips. I sigh at his touch, longing to be closer to him, to feel him against my bare skin. He relaxes me in a way no one ever has.
“I’m not going anywhere, Ben. I can’t resist you.”
“You did for so long. I don’t know what changed your mind, but I’m glad it did.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I’m going to get a glass of water. You want anything?”
“No, thanks. I’m gonna take a shower.”
I emerge from the shower only to see my BlackBerry blowing up on the nightstand. Four phone calls, two voicemails and a text, all from Trini. I ignore them. I don’t even bother to read the text or listen to the voicemails. I flip it over face down and turn the ringer off. I throw on some clothes and head off to find Ben. He isn’t in bed, so I skip toward the kitchen to see what’s keeping him. A smile still plastered across my face. I find him in my extra bedroom. Coming up behind him, I place my hands at his shoulder blades and trail a line of soft kisses across the muscles in his back.
“What are these?” he asks pointing to the wall covered with framed maps I’d torn out of an atlas. The United States, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Utah, Nevada and California, all framed individually and clustered on one wall.
I smile. “Those are the maps my stepdad, Tom, used to draw my route from Naperville to Long Beach when I left. That was before GPS and cell phones. I still can’t believe I made it here. I was clueless.”
“I like his notes,” Ben says pointing to the one labeled, “Rule # 1.” He reads it and laughs. “‘If it sounds hokey it is hokey.’ So true. Your stepdad is a wise man.”
“Ex-stepdad. I’m pretty sure these maps were the demise of his marriage to my mom. She was completely against me coming out here, so him helping me was the most absolute showing of betrayal. My favorite is the one written on Nevada that says, ‘Always get your own drink at a party.’ He was paranoid I was going to get roofied. He was a Chicago city cop, then the chief of police in Naperville, so I can’t blame him, he’s seen a lot.”
“Oh my God, does that actually say, ‘Don’t let anyone search your car. Tell them to get a warrant.’? This coming from a cop, interesting.”
“That’s what it says. Like I said, he’s seen a lot.”