The Dilemma(59)

I can’t look at her. ‘Not necessarily. She told me she’d let me know when she arrived in London, and she might have had to go an even longer way around to get here.’

She nods slowly. ‘So you’re not worried?’

I don’t want to lie to her, but how can I tell her that I’m terrified?

‘A little,’ I say.

‘It’s just that – no offence – you look awful. Everyone’s saying you’ve got a migraine but I wondered, you know, if it was something to do with Marnie.’

‘I definitely have a migraine,’ I tell her, grimacing.

She takes a shaky breath. ‘I did think of something.’

‘What?’

She looks as if she doesn’t want to tell me. ‘There’s a number you can call if you think someone you know might have been on the flight. I don’t suppose – I mean – would it be an idea to call it?’

I nod. ‘I can definitely do that if she hasn’t turned up by the time the party is over.’

‘Oh,’ she says, deflated.

‘Only another hour or so.’

She looks earnestly at me. ‘I suppose if she had been on it, they would have let you know. They probably wait for people to call and if they don’t, they phone them.’

I feel a flicker of hope. Maybe Cleo is right. If Marnie had been on the flight, wouldn’t someone have let me know by now? ‘Yes, I would think so.’

‘So if they haven’t called you, it’s probably alright.’

I give her a reassuring smile. ‘Try not to worry, Cleo. Why don’t you go back to the party?’

‘Would it be alright if I stay here for a bit?’

‘Of course.’

‘If you hear from her, will you let me know?’

‘Of course,’ I say again.





Livia


‘You OK?’

I look up. Josh is looking down at me, his eyes almost black in the dark.

‘Sorry, I was miles away.’

‘With Marnie, then,’ he says.

I laugh. ‘No, not with Marnie. I was actually thinking about your dad.’

‘He’s alright, isn’t he?’

‘Yes, but I think he’ll be glad when this party is over.’

‘That was really nice what you did for him, booking a trip to France.’

‘He deserves it. I would have booked for longer but I knew he’d be worried about taking time off.’ I look at him gratefully. ‘Thank you for the video of Marnie. It was lovely.’

‘I hope it went some way to make up for her not being here?’

‘It did, definitely.’

He nods towards the terrace. ‘So, it seems I have a grandmother?’

I look at him, stricken. ‘I’m sorry Josh, I should have told you myself that she turned up.’

‘Didn’t she want to see me?’ I can hear the hurt in his voice.

‘Yes, she did, but she couldn’t stay because someone was waiting for her, which was just as well because we were both a bit overwhelmed. But she’s coming back tomorrow afternoon, to see you before you leave.’

‘Cool.’ He bends his knees so that he can look me in the eyes. ‘I’m sorry about your father. Nelson said he died.’

‘Yes – but I’m kind of OK with it. He wasn’t a very nice person. And it’s only because he’s no longer around that Mum felt she could come tonight. So, you see, every cloud has a silver lining.’

A flash of light catches my eye, followed by a collective gasp.

‘Beautiful!’ Kirin cries, clapping her hands together as two of the caterers carry an enormous cake, lit by what I guess are forty candles. In fact, it’s three cakes stacked one on top of the other in order of size.

‘Chocolate, vanilla and – your favourite – coffee,’ Josh explains. He takes my hand. ‘Come on, Mum, come blow out your candles.’

‘Where’s Dad?’ I ask Josh over the noise of everyone cheering as he pulls me towards the table.

‘I think he must be inside somewhere. Do you want me to go and find him?’

‘No, it’s fine, leave him,’ I say, pushing away my disappointment that he isn’t beside me. Hopefully he’ll hear everyone singing ‘Happy Birthday’, because they’re making quite a noise, and come out from wherever he is. As I stand there listening, my heart swells with emotion. And then, just in time to make it even more perfect, Adam arrives, pushing his way through the crowd, joining in with the last line of the singing, and then standing next to me while I blow out my candles.

When everyone has finished applauding, because I manage it with one breath, he takes me in his arms.

‘I love you,’ he says softly, to cheers and whistles. ‘I always have and I always will.’

‘Thank you.’ I can’t stop the tears from falling. ‘Thank you for making this the best day ever, for always being by my side, for doing everything in your power to make me happy. I’m so lucky to have you.’

‘Never stop loving me.’

‘I’ll always love you,’ I tell him. ‘Forever.’

And behind his eyes, behind his smile, I see terrible doubt, and I want to ask him why he thinks I’ll ever stop loving him.