The Dilemma(63)

‘But if he’d told her where the money had come from, and she’d decided not to eat the food, they’d have died of starvation,’ I point out.

‘Which is why he didn’t tell her.’

‘Exactly.’

‘He just wanted his family to be able to enjoy one last meal.’

My throat swells. ‘Yes.’

‘I’d be OK with that.’

‘Even though his family will hate him for it?’ I say, my voice tight. ‘Even though he’ll lose them forever?’

‘They won’t hate him. Maybe at the beginning. But not forever.’

‘I hope you’re right.’

He turns and looks at me. ‘This person – maybe he should have asked his dad for advice before it got to that point.’

‘Yeah,’ I say quietly. ‘Maybe he should have.’

‘Why can’t he tell him now?’

‘Because he needs to tell his wife first.’

He sits in silence for a while, giving me the chance to change my mind.

‘The party will be over soon,’ he says eventually. ‘It’s been great, exactly what Livia dreamed of.’

‘What time is it?’

He studies his watch, moving it to catch the light coming from the marquee. ‘Ten past two.’

‘Can you ask Josh to start winding things down? Get him to play “Unchained Melody”? It’s my song choice, for Livia.’

‘I hope you told him the Righteous Brothers’ version.’

‘Of course.’

It’s a couple of minutes before I hear the opening bars play and the memory comes back, of our wedding day, and how we danced to this in the run-down pub and how much I loved her then. How much I love her now.

I walk down to the terrace, to where Livia is waiting for me, and take her in my arms. We don’t speak, we just dance, our bodies close together, her head on my shoulder, my hand in her hair. And I wonder if this will be the last time she’ll ever let me hold her.





Livia


Adam and I are dancing, and I’m so close to crying I can hardly hold back the tears. I know that anyone watching would take them for tears of happiness. But there’s this huge sadness welling up inside me. It’s coming from Adam, seeping from his pores into mine, filling me with a sorrow I don’t understand. I can feel that he’s barely hanging on, that all he wants is for this party to be over and everyone to leave.

He told me he isn’t ill, but I no longer believe him. It can’t be work; if he’s lost an order for a piece of furniture, it wouldn’t matter. Unless one of his parents is ill? As we circle slowly, I keep an eye out for Jeannie and Mike and when I see them laughing together I know it isn’t about them either.

Jeannie catches me looking and waves. I smile back. The song comes to an end and I decide to stop worrying. Whatever it is, I’ll know soon enough.

I see Jess hovering, trying to catch my eye. I go over to her, put my hand on her arm. ‘Is everything alright?’

‘It’s Cleo. She’s a bit upset so we’re going to go.’

‘Oh no! Is it Charlie?’

‘I don’t know. She just came up and asked if we could go. I could see she’d been crying but she wouldn’t say why.’

‘Where is she?’

‘She’s gone to find Adam, to say goodbye. And I need to find Rob.’

‘It’s OK, I’m here,’ he says, appearing over her left shoulder. He gives me a sad look. ‘Looks like we’re going to have to leave your lovely party, Livvy.’

‘It’s almost over anyway,’ I say, my teeth on edge. I hate it when he calls me Livvy because it’s what Mike calls me and I don’t want anyone else using it, least of all Rob.

‘I’ll go and get the car.’ He tries to give me a hug but I turn to Jess quickly.

‘Thank you for coming, and for the spa and the swimming costume and for being the best friend in the world,’ I say, hugging her more tightly than I’ve ever hugged her before, aware that this might be one of the last times she’ll ever speak to me. ‘I’ll always remember today as being one of the best days of my life.’

She laughs softly. ‘You sound as if we’re never going to see each other again. Have a lovely holiday in France, and make sure you come over and tell me about it when you get back.’

‘And you make sure you take care of yourself,’ I tell her fiercely.

‘I will.’ She looks around. ‘I don’t suppose you can go and find Cleo? Tell her we’re waiting in the car?’

‘Of course,’ I say, giving her a last hug. ‘Bye, Rob.’ I don’t even look at him.

‘Bye, Livvy, enjoy your holiday,’ he says, as Jess takes his arm.

But I’ve already gone, because I’ve just spotted Cleo and Adam on the other side of the terrace. They’re standing close together, and even though they have their backs to me, I know Cleo is in tears. I hurry over to rescue Adam.

‘You should tell Livia,’ I hear Cleo say, her voice wobbling all over the place. ‘You have to tell her about Marnie, she has to know.’

I freeze, a terrible dread spreading though me. Cleo knows? I step quickly behind the grey water butt, not wanting them to see me, my heart thudding horribly in my chest, questions tumbling through my brain. How does Cleo know? And when did she find out? She was fine earlier on, so it must be recent. Did Marnie tell her? She wouldn’t have, not tonight, not during my party. Max, then? But why would he do that, why would he be so cruel? Or did Cleo somehow guess? Maybe Marnie and Rob gave something away while they were in Hong Kong, and she spoke to Max about it, told him what she feared. And Max wouldn’t have been able to lie to her. Or maybe she saw an incriminating text on Rob’s phone, or overheard a conversation between him and Marnie, maybe Marnie phoned him at the party. But if she managed to get wi-fi, wouldn’t she have phoned me as well?