Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(36)

Does she do this deliberately? Each time we tentatively relax around each other, she says something to push me away. And each time it gets my back up. “I am not an old man! Besides, how do you know that’s what I’m doing? I might have groupies of my own, sounds like I have a reputation to maintain.”

Ruby’s mouth thins. “Never thought about that.”

“Did you think I was up here thinking about you and our URST?”

The chilled out feeling switches, the barriers re-erecting on both sides and she shifts away from me.

“I don’t know, Jem Jones, were you?” she says, coldly.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Huh! Fine.” She swings her legs to climb off the bed. “I’ll go, leave you to your sulky old man life.”

“Grow up, Ruby,” I snap.

She pauses, her back to me, and I will Ruby not to walk out of the door. The first time alone with her for almost two weeks and this happens. So, it’s clear sex isn’t on the agenda, but I want to spend more time with the person who brought my world to life.

I temper my tone. “Sorry, you just pissed me off. I’ll play for you like I promised. Stay.”

She glares at me as I pick up the guitar and indicate she should sit back down.

“Serenaded by Jem Jones? Aren’t I a lucky girl?” Her voice is edged by sarcasm.

“Yeah, you are. I don’t normally play for a crowd less than ten thousand.”

“Fine, but I’m sitting over here.” Ruby heads back to the sofa, the dark sky in the wide windows behind her.

“Sit where you like.”

“I will.”

“I know.” With a small laugh, I shake my head and scour my mind for the right song. There’s only one I’ve been dying to play her since she first told me her name, the one that goes through my head when she’s around, “Ruby Tuesday.” I smile to myself and position the guitar.

I hardly get past the intro when she stands abruptly. “Jem. Stop. Don’t play that.”

“Why? It’s your name.” The song is her. To me. To the world. I continue.

Ruby heaves in a breath. “Don’t. You can’t.” As her voice cracks, I stop. Tears fill her eyes and she shakes her head at me, causing one to spill.

“Shit. Okay, I thought you’d like it. You know, your name. What’s the big deal?”

“Tuesday. You said you don’t want to know who Tuesday is, and then you try and pull her out of me!”

I’m witnessing another of Ruby’s flips from calm to panic, her switch so easily triggered by the smallest, unknown thing. I’ve come across complicated chicks before but this one wins the ‘what the f-uck?’ stakes hands down.

“No, I’m not trying to find Tuesday; I have no interest in her. I just played a song I love that makes me think of the real you.”

Her eyes widen, pupils dark. “Think of me? Don’t think of me, Jem!”

“Why not?”

“Don’t, just don’t…” Ruby heads for the door. What the hell is going on? She talks about us and what we’re hiding, then instead of sorting things out pushes me away. We need to have this conversation; she’s right. Put this to rest. Move on. I jump off the bed.

“Don’t leave, I’m sorry,” I say.

“I have to go.”

“Forget the song, let’s deal with this other shit, then we can draw a line and move on.”

Ruby’s teary eyes meet mine. What did I do?

“How do we fix this? What happens on the TV with this URST crap?” I ask.

“Nothing for about three seasons. Move.” She attempts to open the door and I place my palm on the smooth wood to prevent her. “Please.”

“Three seasons? We can’t go that long. What happens after three seasons?”

“I want to leave, Jem.” Ruby’s hand trembles and she pulls at the handle.

“What happens?” I repeat.

She turns a furious face to me. “They kiss. They f-uck. Then the world jumps in and pulls them apart. Either that or they marry, have beautiful children, and live in a house in the country. Either way, things are dealt with. Move.”

I touch her hair, pushing a tangle from her face and she slumps against the door as my fingers linger on her cheek.

“Kiss?”

“Jem, please don’t.”

This is f-ucking torture, not whatever the hell stupid name she calls it. I hold Ruby’s face in both hands, rubbing my thumb along her cheek where the tear fell, inhaling the warmth emanating from her. She closes her eyes as I move my mouth to taste her lips.

“Don’t do this. Don’t take us there.” She twists her head away the moment my lips skim hers. “Stop, Jem!”

Her words, the shortness of breath… What a dick move, cornering a girl who’s recently escaped an abusive ex. I step back. Ruby’s wary but thankfully, there’s no fear in her eyes. Worse, it’s disgust.

“Back off. I’m not going to f-uck you,” she says.

“I don’t want to f-uck you.”

“You just tried to kiss me.” Her eyes harden.

“Last I knew they were two separate acts.”

“In my experience, one always leads to the other.” She takes a ragged breath. “I come here because I think you’re my friend and then…” She waves a hand. “All this!”