Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(37)
“This?”
“You. Being nice then trying to kiss me, playing songs to serenade me into your f-ucking bed! Well, you chose the wrong song! And the wrong girl!” Ruby drags her palm across a cheek, wiping a new tear.
“That’s not what I’m doing. You were the one talking about sexual tension.”
“Because I hoped we’d deal with it and move on. It wasn’t a f-ucking invitation.”
Whoa, this girl is on a short, and very confusing, fuse. “Fine. I get that.”
“So I can leave now? You won’t stop me?”
“I wouldn’t ever stop you doing what you wanted, Ruby.”
“Good. Then leave me the f-uck alone!” She drags the door open.
As it slams behind her, I’m dazed at how quickly her mood shifted. And annoyed with myself for screwing this up. Sometimes, I need to learn to listen to the part of me that screams ‘stop what you’re doing or everything will go to shit’.
****
Ruby
I slam through the open door of my hotel room straight into a suffocating mix of people, alcohol, and a sickly smell of weed. The music blares from one corner, a dozen or so people crammed together in the room. Jax is on the bed, shirtless, with a petite blonde girl wrapped around his naked chest.
“Ruby!” He waves a half-empty bottle of bourbon at me. Jesus, he’s buying into the cliché.
What do I do? The headspace Jem just dragged me into isn’t one that can include other people. As Jax disengages from the girl and heads in my direction, I’m aware of others staring at me. Crap. Tears. I scrub my face and head for the brightly lit bathroom. Jax appears.
“What’s going on?”
“You’ve got drugs in here! If Jem knew, he’d lose his shit. Do you want him to drop us?”
“He won’t know. Anyway, it’s only a bit of weed.”
Something Jax has evidently partaken of, judging by his pupils. “Is it?”
Jax shrugs. “As far as I know. Couldn’t vouch for what everyone else has taken.”
“Shit!” I turn on the tap and splash my face with cold water.
“Where’d you go? What happened?” he asks.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. Who upset you?” I dry my face on a white towel. “Ruby?”
“I said I’m f-ucking fine!” I yell and push past him.
“Come here.” Jax takes my elbow and guides me around the bodies on the floor, and into the empty hallway. “Where did you go?”
Leaning against the wall, I stare at the worn carpet. “I went to see Jem. I didn’t want to come back here for another party, so thought things would be more peaceful with him.”
Jax straightens. “What did he do to you? I’ve seen him watching you. Did he come on to you?” He sweeps a gaze over my figure. “Did he do something you didn’t want?”
“Nothing! He didn’t do anything!” The tears return, threatening to spill.
“You don’t cry for no reason.” Jax continues. “You never cry.”
“Well, clearly I do.” I move away as he tries to touch me again. “Jem wouldn’t do that; he doesn’t want to screw things up with the band.”
Jax rests against the wall next to me and says quietly, “Yeah, I get that. Relationships inside the band would f-uck things up whether it’s the manager and the singer or the lead guitarist and singer.”
“Exactly, and he…” I stop. “Lead guitarist and singer?”
Jax screws his face up and rubs his temples. “Shit, forget it. I’m drunk and a bit stoned.”
I cross my arms tightly. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you f-ucking dare throw this crap at me! There’s nothing between us.”
“Ignore me. It’s just I care a lot about you. I’ve seen the shit you’ve been through; and even though you pushed me away and refused to let me help, I still kinda feel protective.”
“Protective?”
“And yeah, I probably like you a bit too much, but I ignore it. Thing is, I can’t if I see you with someone else.”
Ohmygod. Talk about things going from bad to f-ucking worse. “Shit, Jax!” I shove him in the chest. “Don’t do this! Stick to screwing your groupies; there’s plenty willing.”
He catches my arm. “Yeah, I get that you’re not interested, but you’re special. Too special to be screwed around by Jem Jones.”
My chest constricts as the sob attempts to find its way out. “I am not special!”
“And that’s the other reason, Ruby. You’re a mess. It’s not your fault. I know. But you can’t get self-esteem boosts from guys like him.”
“You don’t understand at all!” I half-yell. “You and your perfect middle-class upbringing. Your loving family who pay for you to live in London and follow your dreams. There isn’t one f-ucking thing you struggle with. So don’t judge me! You don’t know me!”
“I’ve known you over a year and I’ve stood back when I shouldn’t. I’m not doing it again. Don’t get messed up by someone else who’s f*cked in the head. Underneath, Jem’s no different to the other * you got involved with.”