Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(49)

‘I might as well,’ I murmured. ‘I mean, it is your memorial.’

I slid down the wall and kicked off my shoes. The glass I’d emptied in the parlour had taken the edge off. But it wasn’t enough. I unscrewed the bottle.

‘Cheers, Mom.’ I tapped the metal box with the bottle before taking a large swig and embraced the swirl that rocked through my head.

I stared at the shiny silver container, taking a few more gulps of the numbing elixir.

‘Did you really hang yourself?’ I paused as if she’d really answer. ‘Why? Why would you do that? Were you really that unhappy?’ I released a heavy breath and rested my arm on the top of the box. ‘Well … I hope you got what you wanted. I hope the pain’s gone.’

‘Sara,’ I interrupted her while she was speaking with some parents I only recognized by sight. ‘Do you have a minute?’

Sara excused herself and approached me. ‘What is it?’

‘Have you seen Emma?’

Sara stopped to think. ‘Umm … not in a while, actually. She was supposed to go in the kitchen to get something to eat. But that was like a half hour ago.’

‘Where do you think she is?’ Sara avoided my eyes, which made me even more concerned. ‘Sara, do you think she’s okay?’

Sara couldn’t look at me. Instead she started scanning the thinning crowd.

‘I’ll look in the kitchen,’ she told me. ‘Let me know if you see her.’

Sara was more concerned than I was anticipating. I didn’t know why, but I knew we needed to find Emma before anyone else did.

‘Cole!’ I exclaimed loudly when he answered the phone, my voice echoing in the enclosed space. ‘Oops, that was loud. Shhh!’ I pressed my finger over my lips.

‘Emma? What’s going on? Where’s Sara?’ He didn’t sound too happy to hear from me. I wondered if he was still mad at me.

‘I don’t know,’ I answered simply. ‘She’s out there somewhere. Cole, are you still mad at me?’

‘What?’ He sounded confused. ‘No. But right now I’m worried about you. Where are you?’

‘In a closet. With my mom. We’re drinking.’

Cole was silent for a moment. ‘Umm … what did you say?’

I started laughing. ‘That did sound funny, huh?’

‘Emma, where’s Sara?’

‘Do you not want to talk to me?’ I asked in confusion. ‘Why do you want to talk to Sara?’

‘I’m kind of going crazy, because I’m in California, and I have no idea what you’re going through right now. And the fact that you’ve locked yourself in a closet to drink doesn’t sound good.’

‘Omigod, is the door locked?’ I asked in a rush. I reached up and turned the handle and cracked the door slightly. ‘It’s not locked.’ I laughed.

‘Emma.’ Cole sighed. ‘I can be there tomorrow.’

‘No!’ I shouted back, then said firmly, ‘I don’t want you here. You don’t belong here. I don’t belong here. I’m stuck. I’m stuck in yesterday, and you’re tomorrow. And I’ll see you in two more tomorrows. Okay?’

‘I have no idea what you just said.’

I leaned my head against the wall with the phone pressed against my face and the nearly depleted bottle between my legs. ‘Cole.’

‘Yes, Emma?’

I closed my eyes, and I couldn’t open them again.

‘Emma?’

I heard him through the fog, but I couldn’t find him. ‘Emma?’

‘Emma?’ Sara whispered into the office. Light seeped out under the closet door. ‘Shit.’

I followed her into the room, shutting the door behind us before flipping on the light. I was suddenly concerned about what we were going to find behind that door.

Sara opened it and then shook her head. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’

I stood behind her, and it took me a moment to interpret what I was seeing. Emma lay slumped against the wall with what was left of a bottle of vodka spilled on the floor next to her and a cell phone in her hand.

‘Is she drunk?’ I asked in shocked disbelief.

‘I told you she was different.’ Sara leaned over and pushed the hair out of Emma’s face, tucking it behind her ear. She removed the cell phone from her hand and listened.

I could only watch; I was having a hard time coming to grips with this image. My brow furrowed with the roll of anger rippling through me.

‘Hello?’ Her eyes widened in surprise when she heard a voice on the other end. ‘Cole. Hey. Yeah, I found her.’ She listened. ‘She’s … passed out. But I’m going to take her back to the motel now, and I’ll have her call you in the morning.’ She hung up the phone and tossed it in the blue striped bag that was on the floor.

‘Shit,’ Sara muttered again, inspecting Emma’s limp body. ‘How the hell am I going to get her out of here without my mother seeing this?’

‘Did you just say you were staying in a motel?’ I asked. ‘Why aren’t you staying at your house?’

‘Because Emma wants nothing to do with Weslyn.’ Sara’s answer made perfect sense, but it still felt like someone had punched me in the gut. ‘She had a hard enough time being here, obviously.’ She waved her hands over her.