Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(53)

The swing that I’d hoped would keep her coming back here. Back to me.

I held my breath when I saw her grab each rope in her hand and lift herself onto the unsteady board. For a moment, in the reflective light of the moon, I thought I saw her smile.

I fought the urge to go out there, to talk to her. Despite the joy that radiated from her as she pumped her legs, I had to remember that she didn’t want to be here. That her expression would change if she saw me. So I remained on the sun porch, watching as she flew higher into the branches.

I breathed in the crisp night air, the crickets chirping in the field while I savoured the rocking rhythm, increasing my acceleration and height. My hair blew into my face and quickly swept back as I continued my ascent. I closed my eyes and leaned back, straightening my arms and dipping my head so it dared the ground to touch it. A flitter catapulted through my stomach. My cheeks pushed up into a smile.

She continued to glide in the shadows of the oak tree, leaning back so far it looked like she was going to tip over. The wind billowed the skirt of her dress as she extended her legs in front of her. I grinned at the familiar sight. A warm shiver running through me. I leaned against the open door of the sunroom, crossing my arms.

This was the girl I knew. This was the girl I’d loved. And although I didn’t know what had happened to her, I knew I had to find out.





17


Not the Same


THE SUN WAS BLINDING ME WHEN I WOKE ON the wicker chaise. I needed a minute to figure out where I was, but as soon as I did, I jumped up. Emma! I pushed the door open and walked quickly to the other side of the patio, past the pool and through the wooden gate.

I stopped. She was curled in the grass under the oak tree. Her skin aglow in the golden light filtering through the trees. Her skirt spread around her with her legs tucked under it, and her hands were folded under her cheek. She took my breath away. I tensed, not wanting to start looking at her the way I once had. She wasn’t the same girl. And I wasn’t the same either.

I walked over to her. I couldn’t leave her out here on the damp grass. I crouched down and gently lifted her into my arms.

She groaned slightly, but didn’t wake as I took her back to the guest room and placed her on the bed. I didn’t linger to watch her sleep. I knew I had to prepare myself for her reaction when she finally awoke – sober and … unpredictable.

I was back in the bed. My body ached with the slightest movement. I was convinced I’d slept on rocks. I groaned and ran a hand over my face.

My phone buzzed. I searched blindly for it, reaching over the edge of the bed into the tote below.

‘Hello?’ I grumbled.

‘How are you feeling?’ Cole asked from the other end.

‘Shoot me now,’ I croaked, flopping my arm over my eyes. ‘Isn’t it super early for you?’

‘I knew you’d be heading to the church soon,’ he explained. ‘I wanted to check on you. Do you remember talking to me yesterday?’

I couldn’t think. Nothing penetrated through the shards of pain splintering through my head. ‘Did I say anything stupid?’

Cole laughed lightly. ‘I’ll pick you and Sara up at the Santa Barbara airport tomorrow. The girls packed your things for you and they’ll meet us there tomorrow night. Call me later if you can.’

‘Okay,’ I responded in a rasp, not really following along. ‘Tomorrow.’

I dropped the phone in my tote, afraid to move from my sprawled position on the bed. Then a rush of saliva filled my mouth, and my stomach turned. I fought to get on my feet and stumbled to the bathroom in time to heave into the toilet, collapsing onto my shaking knees.

I rested my head against the cool porcelain, keeping my eyes closed to prevent the dim light from stabbing through my pupils and into my shrieking brain.

‘Emma?’ Sara called to me from the other room. ‘Emma?’ I heard the bathroom door creak open. ‘Oh God, Emma.’ I heard her gasp, but I couldn’t raise my head to look at her. ‘We have to get you ready.’

‘Just let me lie here and die,’ I pleaded. Another swirl of nausea rushed through me with a chilling sweat, and I leaned my head over as my stomach convulsed.

Sara was beside me, running her cool hand along my damp forehead.

The guest-room door was slightly ajar. ‘Sara?’ I knocked lightly, hearing Sara’s voice in the distance. ‘The car’s here to take you to the church.’

‘We’re in here,’ Sara called to me. I continued into the room cautiously, not certain what I was about to walk in on.

‘Shit.’ The word escaped unfiltered when I saw Sara cross-legged on the bathroom floor with a ghostly pale Emma lying on her lap. ‘Can she get up?’

‘Shh,’ Emma pleaded, wincing. ‘Not so loud.’

I exhaled and said quietly, ‘Sara, what do you want to do? You’re supposed to be at the church in forty minutes.’

‘I know,’ Sara said with a pained face. ‘Umm … let me get her in the shower. Can you call my mother and tell her we need a little more time?’

‘Sure,’ I replied, taking in the scene one more time before walking out of the room. I shut the door, gripping the handle tightly.

‘Come on, Emma. Let’s try to get up,’ Sara coaxed gently, moving slowly to her knees. I forced my body to follow her, my hands shaking as I grabbed the edge of the bathtub.