Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(38)

Before I could respond, Tom hollered, ‘Cole! Let’s go to that spot we found last year to have lunch.’

‘Sure,’ Cole yelled back, following Peyton and Tom’s canoe. Meg and Luke trailed behind ours.

We steered around a narrow bend that was virtually concealed by arching tree branches. The canoe traversed several winding curves before the water opened up into a large pool surrounded by jagged cliffs of rust-coloured rock. It was like we’d entered a cave with its roof blown off. The walls pressed in around the crystal water where people were wading and floating, while others sat up on broken slabs along a makeshift beach, drinking and eating.

We stepped out of the canoe into chilled water that sent a rush of goosebumps over my skin. A holler cut through the air. I turned quickly just as a body plunged into the water with a huge splash, making the girls around him squeal from the cold spray. I looked back to the top of the ledge, where a line of people awaited a turn. My heartbeat sped up its pace at just the thought of jumping.

‘Are you coming?’ Cole called to me.

I pulled my attention away from the cliff. ‘Huh? Yeah, I’ll be right there.’ Cole continued wading through the water carrying the cooler. I glanced up at the cliff again, and a charge thrummed under my skin.

What is it that keeps you up at night? What is the source of all of your nightmares? What are you afraid of? I could hear Jonathan’s voice as if he were standing right next to me. I squeezed my hand into a fist to ward him off as I continued to stare at the cliff.

‘Emma!’ Peyton hollered. I turned my head with a jerk. She and Meg were standing on a slanted slab, calling to me. ‘What are you doing out there? Come eat!’

I made my way to them and climbed up on a chunk of rock. The guys popped open cans of beer while Meg handed out sandwiches. Peyton searched through her iPhone for music to blare through the small portable speaker.

A conversation started about the trip thus far and the ridiculousness witnessed along the way. The buzz of voices faded as my attention drifted back to the cliff.

Jump, Emma. My heart skipped a beat. Emma, you’re either going to jump, or I’m going to push you.

‘I’ll be right back,’ I murmured. Not caring whether they heard me or not, I stepped across the broken slabs of rock towards the path that led to the cliff. As I neared the yelling and laughter, I noticed that the path continued around a bend. I couldn’t see the destination from this vantage point, but it wound up, and so did I.

The path crumbled beneath my feet, causing my steps to falter several times, until it unveiled a narrow ledge jutting out over the water. I cautiously stepped closer to its edge and was overcome with a rush of dizziness when I looked down. There was only the crisp blue beneath me.

The water’s surface appeared smooth, reflective as glass, the light from the sun bouncing off it. My quickened pulse made my hands shake as I inched closer, working up the courage to take the devastating step.

Emma, what are you afraid of?





12


Over the Edge


I FEARED THAT IF I TURNED AROUND, Jonathan would be there, awaiting an answer. I closed my eyes and inhaled, calming my racing heartbeat. When I opened them again, the jitters were gone and the vertigo had dissipated. I took in the coppery stone wall across from me.

I craned my neck over the edge again. ‘What are you afraid of, Emma?’ I asked in a murmur, repeating Jonathan’s words from that day on the cliff.

Nothing.

I knew … I wasn’t afraid. I was carved out and scraped clean, a shell of my former self standing upon the ledge. There was only something to fear if I had something to lose. And I had nothing.

My head was quiet. I stared down at the water that was inviting me to take the last step over the edge.

‘Emma?’ Cole’s voice broke through the silence. Rocks scattered along the path with his approach. I knew I was running out of time. I glanced back over my shoulder as Cole came into view. His eyes widened in shock. ‘Emma, what are you doing?’ I turned away. Everything blurred beneath me as the tears filled my eyes.

‘Emma, what the hell are you doing?!’ Cole demanded again in a panic behind me. ‘You can’t jump! You’ll kill yourself from this height.’

I didn’t look back. I took that final step and disappeared over the edge. Instantly swallowed up by the rushing wind I plummeted towards the water. My entire body rippled with adrenaline. My stomach opened up as the gust of air hugged me tight, stealing my breath. Nothing mattered in those few seconds. Not Jonathan. Not Evan. Not Cole. Not even me. Everything was lost, and I surrendered to the stillness that overtook me.

The moment of peace ended abruptly as my feet slammed through the water. My insides ricocheted violently on impact. The velocity of the fall forced me down until I collided with the rocks lining the bottom. Horrific pain shot through my leg as it grated against the unforgiving surface. I restrained a scream.

Kicking off the rocks, I propelled myself towards the light. My lungs burned for air as I fought for the surface with each desperate kick.

An enticing whisper told me to stop. To stop fighting. To stop trying. To just …

I gasped and coughed as I broke through the water. It took me a moment to orient myself as I sucked in bursts of air.

I looked back up to the top of the jagged rock from which I’d just taunted death. Cole was hovering over the edge, but I couldn’t see his expression from this distance. The scraped skin below my knee shrieked as I trod water, drawing my attention away from Cole’s face. I was afraid to find out how bad it was.