Indefinite (Salvation #6)(28)

14


Ashton





“What are you doing?” Quinn asks from right outside the door of my childhood bedroom.

“Shopping.”

Like the rest of my parent’s house, this room is stuck. There is still the 90210 poster on the wall, which I can’t take down because . . . Dylan. On the other wall is LL Cool J with his thick, puckered lips blowing me a kiss that I reciprocated many times. That man is still sexy as fuck. The only thing that’s different is she threw out my old comforter and replaced it with a plain white one with new sheets. Other than that, it’s still 1999 in my bedroom.

Dinner has come and gone, and I’ve stayed up here in a show of self-torture. The scents of my mother’s cooking filled the room, causing my stomach to grumble the entire time, but based on principle, I didn’t eat. They want to feed Quinn and force me to stay here, then I’ll starve.

He’s still standing there, not taking the hint that I don’t want to talk or see him since all he got was a one-word answer. I don’t have to check, I can feel his presence as he silently watches me turn another page.

“You mean for the father of the kid you’re having?”

“Yup.” Flip again.

“Find anyone good?”

“I’m still shopping, aren’t I?”

I keep flipping the pages, not seeing the faces, and then my bed sinks beside me as he sits.

There goes pretending.

The heavy sigh releases from my chest, and I finally move my eyes to him.

It would be so easy if I didn’t think he was sexy.

I could go about my life, walk right by him without feeling anything, and live. But my traitorous heart is drawn to him.

“Your parents went to bed.”

I glance over at the clock. It’s already ten, and I’m so glad they called it a night. If they hadn’t, I would have eaten my arm off. I was that hungry and that stubborn. “Awesome. So you’re leaving?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not. I’m going to stay. Your parents didn’t want me driving back to Brooklyn this late at night.”

Of course they didn’t. “Super.” I roll my eyes and sit up. “Don’t you have a job to go do? Saving the world from evilness and whatever else it is that makes you happy?”

“You make me happy.”

Here we freaking go again. I’m not taking the bait this time. I’m too hungry, and I might end up biting him. “Look, just go back to Virginia. Go be a badass, and we can part as friends, okay?”

“No, I don’t think that’s how this will go.”

“Well, now I understand why they say you have a God complex. You don’t get to make that choice.”

Quinn chuckles and shrugs. “Maybe not, but I’ve been thinking that, since I only have six months left on my enlistment, I would start to explore my options.”

“Please, God, make this stop.”

“You didn’t say that the other night.”

I drop the book and glare at him. “I wouldn’t talk too loudly here, the walls are paper thin, then again, maybe we should”—my voice raises—“discuss how we had sex.”

Quinn shifts forward, his hand covers my mouth. “Are you trying to get me killed?”

I mumble, but his hand blocks the words. When he removes it, I grin. “Is it working?”

“You know, I’m not sure your dad wouldn’t be happy about it.”

I’m not either.

“Well, if you could leave me to finish my task . . .”

“Ashton,” Quinn says my name while tucking his finger under my chin, “we should talk about last night and how you lied about being pregnant.”

We should, but I don’t want to. I’m still petulant enough to be angry about it all. “I don’t have anything to say.”

He laughs. “I doubt that.”

I actually have a lot to say, but I don’t think any of it matters. My heart is already so torn apart and struggling to find a way through it. I love him, and yet, it changes nothing. I’m still going through with the procedure and going to live my life. My having sex with him does not change anything.

“What’s the point?”

His thumb brushes against my lip. “The point is that what happened between us matters. Do you not see how much I care? That even when I thought you were already pregnant, it was irrelevant regarding my feelings?”

That part is great. It’s nice to see that he cares, but there’s no way that he’s going to sit idly by and actually watch me do it. “And what about now, Quinn? What about when I tell you that next week I’ll be starting my process? Are you going to hold my hand through it? Because I don’t think you will. You are not getting the picture that I’m done with us. I’m moving on, and I came here to tell my parents that I’m having a baby.” I say the words as my hand hits the black book.

He looks down where the information is laid out. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“You want to know? I’ll show you.”

He grins. “Sure, let’s look.”

I fucking hate it when my plan backfires. I grab the book and flip to the page of the only guy that I put a sticky note on. It’s not even like I can pretend otherwise because his all-knowing eyes have probably already seen it.