Indefinite (Salvation #6)(31)

It must be hard for her to see me this way. Her views are very old fashioned, and I am the furthest thing from that. I couldn’t care less about having a husband before the baby. In fact, it would probably be more fitting for me to go the other way. At least then I would have a man who knowingly loved my child and me from the start, unlike if it were Quinn who never wanted kids.

“If I found someone—someone worthy and who loved me like I need to be loved,” I tack on for emphasis. “I would’ve married him and be doing this the way you want me to, but I haven’t, so I’m looking at my other options. I don’t want to wait.”

“I will always support you, Ash. You’re the miracle that God granted me. I can only pray you’ll wait and have a baby with a man you love, even if it’s harder for you.”

Her version of support and mine are a little different. “I’m not waiting.”

“I figured. Well, then, I will pray that God gives you the baby you want and watches over you during your struggles.”

Here’s why I love my mother. Because even though she truly doesn’t like any of it, she loves me enough to find a way through it. “Thanks, Mom.”

“But you’re going to do something for me.”

And then I remember that her love sometimes also can be my biggest downfall. “I am?”

“Yes, you’re going to be kind and considerate to Quinn.”

Oh, dear God. She has to be kidding. “This is your one request? This is what you want me to do in order for you to be okay with me having a kid?” She shrugs as if it makes total sense. Maybe to her it does, but I don’t get it. “Why is Quinn so important to you?”

“He’s not, my darling girl, you are, and he loves you. Plus . . .” She sighs as she stands, gathering the plates. “We know that he’ll stop this craziness and hopefully, in a few months, you’ll be married to him.”

There aren’t words that seem adequate enough. I don’t know if I could even attempt a conversation at this point. Still, I open my mouth before closing it twice. “You and Dad are nuts, you know that?”

“We’re not the ones who are getting ourselves pregnant when there’s a very nice man who would give anything to get another chance right in front of us. Who is the crazy one now, Ash?”

Her. It’s definitely her. I’m smart enough not to say that because she’s near the wooden spoon.

“You’re right, Mom. I’m glad you love me and all my crazy.”

She smiles and then touches my face. “Always.”

Well, at least one parent is sort of on board, the other is easy because he’ll never go against my mother. Now, I need to tell Clara my choice, and get this show on the road.





16


Ashton





“Good morning,” Quinn says, standing outside my apartment door with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“What is this?”

“I thought maybe we should talk, but you’ve ignored my request sent via email, then two texts, and me at the door.”

“And here I thought the ignoring of all that was an indication of what I thought of your request to walk me to work.” I take the coffee from him and drink. If he’s going to be persistent, he can suck it up that I’m going to be a terrible person to be around.

“Sure, you can have that.”

“Thanks. I have a busy day today, and I appreciate you getting me the fuel to get through it.”

Quinn nods with a smile. “I’ll be sure to have one for you tomorrow as well. And the next day. And the day after that, and so on . . .”

“That’s a lot of days and a terrible way to spend your income, but . . . I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You can also bring me lunch. There’s this awesome little pizza place on fifty-fifth that’s like an orgasm in your mouth.”

“I’ll give you an orgasm in your mouth,” Quinn says almost as a reflex.

“Been there. Done that. No thanks.” I take a drink to hide my blush because that’s exactly what I’d like to do.

God that man’s penis is like a gift from the heavens. I’m going to miss it.

Hell, I’ll miss sex.

I would’ve at least liked getting another good lay before the baby. However, I’m going to get knocked up, sans the big o. Although I did get quite a few from Quinn the other night, so they’ll just have to tide me over.

I spent last night solidifying that man number twenty was, in fact, the best option. His physicality is definitely what I would be attracted to, not to mention he’s smart, which bodes well. He’s the kind of guy I could see myself dating and settling down with. I could’ve picked guy number forty-four who is a space engineer and holds two doctorates, but that doesn’t sound like someone I would want to procreate with. So, normal and athletic is my choice.

Looking at the very nice specimen in front of me, I almost wish I could have sex with him again and not get attached. But that’s not likely. I’m too damn emotional when it comes to him.

Quinn takes back the coffee and drains it.

“Hey!” I protest.

“If you’re not going to be nice, you don’t get your caffeine in the morning.”

Bastard.