How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(52)

With my newfound confidence to be undeniably myself, I decided to make a video called “The Most Honest Q&A Ever” for my YouTube channel. I’d like to direct your attention to two parts of this video:



1. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A MILLION DOLLARS?



OLD ANSWER: I’m not really sure. Donate some? Travel? I like to spend money on experiences.





What I’m Thinking: I want to come across as if money doesn’t really matter because people will think I’m materialistic.





NEW ANSWER: Well, I do have a million dollars, and to be honest, it hasn’t changed any major things I do. Money is the result of what I do, not the reason I do it.





What I’m Thinking: I’m proud that I’ve worked hard and earned money. I don’t need to lie about it. I’m more proud that it hasn’t changed me much, though.





2. ARE YOU A VIRGIN?



OLD ANSWER: I think it’s so interesting and strange that people ask this.





What I’m Thinking: Let me curve this answer and avoid giving any real information because I’m embarrassed.





NEW ANSWER: Yeah, I am. I used to be ashamed to admit that, but honestly, it’s my decision.





What I’m Thinking: I’m proud of my decision, not because I think it’s right but because it’s mine. My body. My life. My decision. There’s no shame in my game.





Answering those questions the way I did filled me with an entirely new and unique feeling of happiness. It’s a beautiful thing to have complete self-acceptance. Nothing to prove, nothing to hide. You are who you are, and you should be damn proud, like a BAWSE.

Now if you’ll excuse me, someone just called for an über-unicorn (oink, oink) and it’s my time to shine. Hopefully it was Sel. I’m craving Cheetos.





THE FIRST TIME I ever met Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, I noticed something very specific about him. You might think I noticed how his right arm could pass as Godzilla’s stunt double, or that he’s so handsome that I wanted to legally change my name to Scissors just so he might smash me. Yes, I went there. And I’ll go there again!

Surprisingly, however, what I remember most vividly about meeting Dwayne wasn’t his looks or giant muscles, although, I mean … those features are also great. What stood out to me was his behavior around people he just met—in this case, my film crew. He shakes every person’s hand when he meets them. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone—from my sound guy to my producer, my assistant, and the security guard who is trying to pry me off Dwayne’s leg. Which, by the way, stop that and LET ME LIVE. Rock climbing has always been on my bucket list!





I’m going to keep going there.

For someone as rich and famous as Dwayne Johnson, I was shocked that he made a point to introduce himself to every new person he met, even if they didn’t initiate the interaction. He acted as if people didn’t know exactly who he was, which was both refreshing and impressive. Not only did my entire crew comment on his behavior after we were done shooting, but my friend and fellow YouTube creator Grace Helbig also pointed out this specific trait of Dwayne’s after she met him for a shoot. If two girls get together to discuss Dwayne Johnson and, of all things, end up talking about how he shakes people’s hands, something is very wrong. Or, perhaps, very right.

Since meeting Dwayne, I’ve met two other spectacular individuals who behave in a similar fashion. The king of soca music, Machel Montano, walked into my dress rehearsal when I was performing in Trinidad and Tobago. The first thing he did was walk around the entire stadium and shake hands with all my dancers, my stage manager, the AV crew, and even some random people I didn’t know who had probably snuck in. After rehearsal, all my dancers commented on how wonderful Machel was. They met many new people that evening, but it was Machel who blew them away. (By the way, if you don’t know what soca music is, you need to YouTube-search some Machel Montano right now. Your booty can thank me later.)

The other person whose impeccable manners and class have made a major impact on me is the star of The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon. He walked into my NYC dressing room the day I was scheduled to be on his show, and we instantly started chatting away about the show and my YouTube videos until he looked around and abruptly stopped. “Hi, how are you? I’m Jimmy!” he said as he shook hands with my hair and makeup stylists. Hit by a wave of admiration, I thought, “Of course you’re Jimmy! This is your show! You’re a superstar!” But superstardom didn’t stop Jimmy from shaking every person’s hand.

Now, you can call it a coincidence, but three of the most successful people I’ve ever met have all had this distinctive tendency. Not only do they introduce themselves, but they extend a hand to new people because they understand that a good handshake can say a lot about who you are.

After taking note of this, I tried it out for myself. I was in Anaheim, California, for VidCon, which, if you’re not familiar with it, is a convention that brings together YouTube creators and fans in the most Armageddon-type way. YouTube creators literally have to swim through a sea of screaming fans to get from panel to panel, and it’s exciting and borderline terrifying all at the same time.