How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(55)

I go to bed with a countdown in my mind: six months to save enough money and get out of this nightmare. I look around my room and already feel disconnected to this world. My decision is to give up. The tiny spark I have left in me goes out. Welcome to the land of no dreams.

2015 Today I decided that I’m done with this life, this comfort zone, and these nerves. I need to move on. I’ve been cowardly and it’s held me back from truly blossoming in my career. I want to move away, and in six months I will. I am finally going to fulfill my dream of moving to L.A.

For months I’ve been saying I’ll do it. My career is going so well, and I know this move will take me even further. I know exactly what I’m going to do when I get there, and that’s conquer. I’m going to create an even better life for myself, a life that not only makes me proud but makes my parents proud too.

I sit at my going-away party surrounded by people who love me. My friends and family have all shown up, and I know they will never forget me. I’m going to visit them often, and they’ll do the same, I just know it. I show them pictures of my new apartment, the first one I’ll ever live in alone, and they beam with pride.

That night, after my friends help me pack, I lie in bed and take a look around my room. I will never feel disconnected from this place, and this will always be home. I cry bittersweet tears as I say goodbye to my comfort zone. I’m not running away from this place, but I am graduating from it.

I’ve checked my bags and I’m waiting in the security line at the airport. My friends and family are waiting on the other side of the rope to say goodbye and watch me disappear through the gate. I take a deep breath and watch as my mother cries. She’s crying because she knows this side of Lilly, the side that is determined and will persevere. She hugs me and I hug her back, feeling her love and support shield me against any negativity. I’m going to make her so proud. I say my goodbyes and disappear through the gate to start the next exciting chapter of my life.

I arrive in my new apartment, nervous and excited. I’ve been saving up for this and I really did it. I look around and see a life full of opportunity, a life I’m going to make worth remembering. My decision is to conquer this city. I’m finally doing it. The giant spark I have in me doubles in size. Welcome to the land of dreams.





PART 4


BE A UNICORN


It’s time for you to burp a rainbow and poop some Skittles. In this section you will learn about the power of having strong values, the reason to express gratitude, and how to not just coexist with others but positively impact them. You’ll also learn how to navigate sticky situations that tempt you to behave poorly. A Bawse knows that the power of compassion, love, and kindness should never be underestimated.





YOU SHOULD BE SCREAMING with rage and disagreeing with me right now. I just called you a chameleon. You. A Bawse. A chameleon? How dare I? And you’re right. You should challenge me to a duel. I’m trying to teach you how to stand out from the crowd, make a statement, and be bold, so how dare I call you a chameleon, something that blends into its surroundings? Well, the reality of the situation is that your surroundings influence how you feel, how you think, and how you behave. Have you ever felt optimistic in a room full of pessimists? Have you ever gotten a lot of work done in a room full of people slacking off? Have you ever seen a Happy Meal in a sad place? Probably not. You’re a human being and you’re a product of your environment. So what does that mean? That means you better create an environment where Bawses thrive.

Right now I’m being super-productive, writing my book, and feeling happy. Why? Partially because I’m a unicorn, but also because I’ve created a work environment for myself that encourages positivity and creative thinking. On my computer screen there is a sticky note that says “Focus on what deserves your attention.” Below that is a desk plate that says “Get it, girl.” Amongst my array of colorful, bright office supplies (I have a bright blue stapler that is so fine it could qualify as a Man Crush Monday) is a candle labeled “positive energy.” And if I ever make a mistake while writing with one of my lime-green pencils, it’s okay because my pink eraser says “Work happy.” It looks like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory threw up all over my desk, and I absolutely love it. This workspace makes me feel inspired and encourages me to work my hardest, while also putting a smile on my face.

Creating a physical environment that makes you feel motivated is something that is completely in your control. Whether it’s the artwork in your room, your desktop wallpaper, or the color of the Post-its on your desk, your surroundings make a difference, whether you consciously recognize it or not. I’m personally obsessed with colors because they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I have seven towels in my apartment, all bright and different colors. My linen closet looks like a Skittles factory. Every time I put one towel in the wash, I choose a new color, and to be honest, this decision excites me every time. Now, you might be thinking, “What a psycho,” and that’s what the friend who was staying with me also thought. But whenever I switch my towel, I step out of the shower, I lock eyes with this beautiful new color, and my brain registers the change. In some minor way, I believe it makes my day better. In fact, one evening my house guest approached me and quietly said, “The towels make a difference,” and then avoided eye contact as he walked away. OF COURSE THEY DO! Who doesn’t want magical rainbow towels? I’d like to believe that even on the days I’m in a rush and can’t admire my beautiful towel, my brain still notices it and smiles a little.