How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(24)

You can also visualize with your eyes open by acting out something you want to happen and pretending it’s real. Here’s my favorite example. I used to desperately want to be interviewed on the radio. I would constantly hear celebrities doing plugs for radio stations while I was driving, like, “Hey, this is Usher and you’re listening to Kiss 92.5.” Every time I heard one of those plugs I would think, “Man that’s so cool, and they’re so famous!” So I started to imitate them. While driving in my car, I would pretend I was on the radio and I’d say a plug out loud to myself. I must have said, “Hey, this is your girl Superwoman and you’re listening to Kiss 92.5, so keep it locked!” at least twenty-five times to myself before I ever got my first opportunity to do it on the radio in real life. The first time a radio host ever asked me to record a plug, I had to contain all my excitement and I was beyond prepared. Until then, I hadn’t known how or when I would get there; I just knew I wanted to be on the radio.

“THE UNIVERSE MIGHT RESPECT THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, BUT IT RESPECTS A GOOD HUSTLE EVEN MORE.

Short-term visualization is helpful when you know you are going to be doing something specific and you want to imagine how the scenario will play out. For example, before a performance, I’ll visualize exactly what I want to happen. I close my eyes, imagine myself walking onto the stage with full energy, and see the crowd’s positive reaction. Then I watch myself perform in a way that makes me proud. I see how I’m going to tell every joke, hit every bit of choreography, and nail my facial expressions. I’ll even physically go through the motions with my eyes closed so that it feels as real as possible. It’s like a dress rehearsal for the mind and spirit. When I open my eyes and do the show for real, the goal is to simulate what I visualized. There should be no issues since, according to my brain, this is round two.

We all know the cliché “See it, believe it, achieve it.” We’ve probably taken a screenshot of it and shared it on Instagram thinking we were really deep. I definitely have (#MondayMotivation). Well, now you can actually give meaning to that quote by practicing the art of visualization. There is great power in knowing what you want and even greater power in pretending it’s already yours. Combine that with a strong work ethic, and Christmas can come more than once a year.

Then you can start—Wait, is that a shiny ornament?! BRB.





YOU SEE A CUSTOMER eyeing a car at your dealership and you’re unsure if they’re going to buy it. You really want them to because you could use the commission and you have a quota to meet. The customer calls you over, acting mildly excited, but clearly trying to wear their best poker face. Let the games begin! You name a price. They begin to walk away. You lower the price. They suggest an even lower one. You start talking about the car’s special features, and they pretend like they don’t care that much. You say $50,000. The customer says $40,000. You say $49,000. They say $41,000. You make a final offer: $46,000.

“Fine! I’ll pay $52,000.” Said no buyer ever.

That’s because when you negotiate, you’re unlikely to get exactly what you asked for. And you definitely won’t get MORE than what you asked for. I don’t remember the last time I asked a friend to borrow their shirt and they replied, “Sure! And here’s my cellphone and boyfriend too!” I mean, that would be a great friend, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not that likely.

Life is one big negotiation. If I know one thing about bartering, it’s that you need to start high. That’s because you’re never going to get exactly what you want, so you better ask for more than you need. When you go for something you want, there are three possible outcomes: ideal, workable, and horrible. A Bawse isn’t scared to aim for ideal, because a Bawse knows that, at worst, they’ll likely end up arriving at a workable scenario. But if you sell yourself short and play it safe, you may end up disappointed.

When my friend Humble and I were figuring out how to release our song “IVIVI” (Roman numerals for the area code for the city of Toronto, 416), we knew we wanted it to be epic. Humble had wanted to create a Toronto anthem for a long time, but we’d never gotten around to it because of our busy schedules. One day, as I was staring at the calendar, I noticed that the month of April was approaching. With a twinkle in my eye, I called Humble and told him we needed to release “IVIVI” on 4/16 and not a day later! I’m pretty sure I made that phone call on April 4 or so, in true last-minute Lilly fashion. This deadline forced us to write a song, record it, and plan a music video (see the chapter Set Deadlines) in less than two weeks.

Writing and recording the song was the easier part—with an assist from a few vodka-and-Sprites (to coat my vocal cords, obviously!). We finished the song in a few days and decided to spend the remaining four conceptualizing our music video. So there we were at my kitchen table, trying to think of a creative that could be pulled off in such a short amount of time. Shooting in a car, easy. Shooting downtown, easy. Shooting in a studio, easy. Then suddenly, with complete confidence and a straight face, I said, “You know what? We should shoot on the Raptors court inside the ACC.” Humble just stared at me, expressionless. The Raptors are Toronto’s NBA team and the ACC (Air Canada Centre) is the city’s second-biggest stadium—the same stadium that promoters and artists pay thousands and thousands of dollars to use. And there I was, casually suggesting we should shoot our music video there—and in the next four days.