How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(29)
“MANY SITUATIONS IN LIFE REQUIRE US TO CLIMB AN INVISIBLE LADDER, AND IT’S NOT USUALLY AN EASY CLIMB. YOUR HAVE TO EARN EACH RUNG.
For the entire plane ride I was anxious because I had no idea what her reply would be. What if her account had been hacked? What if it was her son? What if she’d gotten mixed up and thought I was someone else? People tell me I look like Bruno Mars all the time! When the plane landed, before I did anything else I checked my messages, and squealed when I saw her reply: “Tell me when you’re in NYC.” Well, as fate would have it, I had a gig in NYC the very next week. I’m not being a stalker and making that up—I did actually have a gig. Perfect! I responded and we agreed to meet up in a few days.
I am a fan of MIA’s work and really admire what she does, so I didn’t want to arrive empty-handed. Over the next week I arranged for one of my friends to create a custom art piece that I could gift her. The turnaround time was so rushed that I got the piece delivered to the airport before I left for NYC. When I landed in New York, the experience was very similar to my initial meeting with Harley: I knew which day MIA wanted to meet, but I had no other information and was banking on a reply.
The day we were supposed to meet, I was leaving my hotel room early in the morning to attend some meetings and knew I wouldn’t be back until later that night. I hadn’t heard from MIA in the last few days and the whole meeting seemed to be unlikely. Discouraged, I looked at the painting as I exited my room. Well, that was a waste. Then a tiny voice inside my head said, “What if she replies?” That was enough for me to turn around and pick up the painting. It was too large to fit in a bag, so I committed to carrying it under my arm around the city for the entire day, just in case she messaged back. Hours passed and I was still carrying this annoying thing around. People were staring at me, my friend was making fun of me, and I was beating myself up. I stopped at a curb to sit down and take a break. As a last-ditch effort, I pulled out my phone and messaged MIA, asking what time and where she’d like to meet. Seconds later she replied and gave me the address of an ice cream shop in Brooklyn. Within the hour I was eating ice cream with MIA and her son, gift in hand, smile on my face. During our conversation, she taught me so much about the music industry and gave me legal advice I’d never heard before. That experience helped me climb yet another rung on the ladder.
These encounters may seem like minor ridiculous things, and you might even think that I was devaluing myself by waiting around for people, but the conversations I had were essential and motivated me to continue my work. When you’re climbing the ladder, the heaviest piece of clothing you wear is often your pride. In my opinion, waiting hours to meet these two people doesn’t mean I don’t know my worth; it means I think they’re worth my time. Both Harley and MIA knew more than I did and had knowledge they were willing to share with me.
The thing about the ladder is that no matter how high a rung you reach, there will always be people above you. And sometimes the people above you will throw stones at you to try to knock you down. This behavior can be intentional or unintentional. Sometimes they might not even realize their feet are kicking dust onto you. The people above you on the ladder aren’t necessarily rich, famous jerks who look down on everyone else. It’s not about status. That’s the wrong attitude to have. I believe that the people above me on the ladder have more experience and expertise than I do, and I can accept and respect that.
Even today, regardless of the fact that I’ve established myself as a content creator with a large following, I get stones thrown at me from the rungs above. I’ve done countless collaborations with movie stars and musicians, but when a new one is presented to me, I still have to go to hell and back to make it happen. I’m required to send three script ideas, and when the producers don’t like any of those, I’m asked to send three more by the next morning as if that’s an easy thing to do. Once I get a script approved I’m told I have fifteen minutes to shoot a video that will probably take sixty minutes. The video can only be shot on a day when I’m already completely booked, so now I have to rearrange my schedule. What do I do? I could reply with a middle-finger emoji, but that wouldn’t be very productive. I put my pride aside and smile throughout the process, as long as the outcome results in an awesome video I’m proud of. That’s climbing the ladder. No one said that some rungs wouldn’t be covered in BS.
It’s a hard ladder to climb. There will be obstacles, exhaustion, and sometimes even a few snakes along the way (now it’s the Snakes and Ladders game). But when you climb the ladder you learn lessons, build character, and earn knowledge. The worst thing you can do is act entitled when you are at the bottom of the ladder, refusing to get sweaty. It doesn’t work like that.
Sometimes to be inspired, successful, or supported you need to sit in a car on the side of the road for three hours. Other times you might have to be that crazy lady carrying a huge painting. Maybe it’ll be worth it or maybe it won’t be. Either way, you keep climbing like a Bawse.
WE’RE ALWAYS TRYING to look for shortcuts. It’s in our nature. I don’t have to unlock my phone to take a picture because I can just swipe up. When my GPS can save me sixty seconds on the road, it’ll reroute me. Worst-case scenario, if I do have to unlock my phone (annoying!), then I can just scan my finger because who has time to input four numbers? I don’t even have to type a full sentence when TXTING b/c abbreviations are v easy 2 understand FYI and acceptable AF BTW. Who has time to meet new people and establish meaningful relationships? Instead I can just swipe left or right on your image and let superficial computing do the work. Shortcuts save us time and energy; let’s face it, they’re convenient. However, a Bawse knows that shortcuts do not exist when it comes to success.