How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(27)

When I got home, my friend asked me how it went. I said, “Honestly, I don’t know.” I had to sit down, take time out of my day, bust out a calculator, open an encyclopedia, and start an intensive research process to determine what it was I hadn’t liked about the date. Then I figured it out. He’d kept TELLING me about the type of person he was, but he’d done nothing to SHOW me.

If you’re funny, you shouldn’t have to notify people that you’re funny. And not to be a jerk, but I didn’t laugh once on that date. Yet he told me two different stories about how funny his friends thought he was. If you’re nice, you don’t have to tell people you’re nice; they’ll be able to see that.

“A BAWSE KNOWS THAT IF YOU WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, YOU NEED TO SHOW PEOPLE WHO YOU ARE, AND THEN KEEP SHOWING THEM.

If you’re going to talk the talk, then you have to walk the walk. In fact, if you can walk the walk, I really see no need for you to do any talking unless you’re specifically asked about the walk you are providing. LESS TALKING. MORE WALKING.

People often say “words lie and actions speak the truth.” I used to think that was a great saying, but then I heard a motivational speaker by the name of Trent Shelton say something even better. He said, “Words lie; actions can lie too. Consistency speaks the truth.” My jaw dropped at the accuracy of these words. Talking about something doesn’t make it true. And action is only meaningful if it’s consistent. A Bawse knows that if you want to be taken seriously, you need to show people who you are, and then keep showing them.

Don’t tell your boss you work hard; let your work prove it. Don’t just tell your girlfriend you’re loyal; be loyal. Don’t tell your opponent you’re going to knock them out; just knock them out.

Talk is cheap, so leave it at the thrift store.





YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: “You have to play the game to change the game.” But how do you play the game if you don’t know the game? You can’t. You’d be dribbling a basketball on a tennis court and yelling for a penalty. And if you can’t change the game because you can’t play the game because you don’t know the game … you’re definitely not going to win the game. Right now you might be thinking, “WHAT GAME?! I’m an accountant!” Well, my fellow Bawse, the reality is that almost everything in life is a game. And “game” isn’t a synonym for something unimportant, nor does it have to give you that icky feeling. Games are great. Most things in life involve strategy, rules, levels, and players. When you’re at a bar and hit on a cute girl, that’s using strategy in the dating game. When you set yourself apart as an overachieving assistant and get promoted, you passed a level in the office game. When you agree to play hide-and-seek with your baby sister to get out of trouble with your mother, you’re playing the game as well. In fact, you’re playing two games.

Whatever you’re doing in life, whether you’re a doctor, painter, student, or lemonade stand owner, it’s important to know the game so that you can excel at playing it. One of the best ways to do this is to become aware of what everyone else in the same field is doing. Not only does this give you the ability to learn from other people’s successes and mistakes, but it also encourages healthy competition, which is necessary for evolution. In addition, knowing the other players in the game can help you adjust your strategy accordingly, just like a coach who studies the formations and plays of an opposing team.

Before I went on my first tour, I made it a priority to attend as many shows by fellow digital creators as I could. Of course I went because I wanted to support my friends, but I also wanted to gain as much knowledge and insight from the experience as possible. Instead of trying to blindly write a creative for my own show, I wanted to see what everyone else was offering first. I took notes on what I loved, what I thought could be improved, how the crowd was reacting, and how long the show was. Was there a dedicated stage manager? How many seats were VIP? Where was security positioned? Were there costume changes? How many? How often? I absorbed all the information around me and used it to develop my own strategy. I wanted to make sure that whatever I offered was not only up to par but different from what was already out there. If you’re trying to set yourself apart, you need to know what has already been done.

“WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING IN LIFE, WHETHER YOU’RE A DOCTOR, PAINTER, STUDENT, OR LEMONADE STAND OWNER, IT’S IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE GAME SO THAT YOU CAN EXCEL AT PLAYING IT.

I also watch YouTube videos when I’m taking a break from work. Yes, when I take a break from making a YouTube video, I watch a YouTube video (#ReasonsImSingle). The reason I do this is because I think it’s important to be familiar with the content that exists alongside mine. If I’m working on a video called “I Like Potatoes” and then I go online and see four other videos called “I Like Potatoes,” well, that’s not great. That is above the recommended daily carbohydrate intake for any viewer. Similarly, I don’t want to be creating content on my webcam, with mediocre lighting and basic transition, if everyone else on the trending page is using an SLR, ring light, and complicated animations. I want to stay in the league, so I keep up to date on the game.

Knowing the game not only helps you play to the best of your ability but also prevents you from being cheated. Imagine playing a game of poker and not really knowing the rules. You have three sixes and two kings and your opponent has a pair of fours. After you reveal your cards uncertainly, your opponent notices and confidently claims victory, therefore taking all your chips. You had a full house and didn’t know it! You’re like the Olsen twins before they were old enough to form memories. Cut. It. Out.