Heidi's Guide to Four Letter Words(21)

Aside from the fact that she might get heckled walking down the street for not wearing a Minnesota Twins sweatshirt, she looks like any other Minnesotan. She looks like me on a Sunday afternoon when I used to curl up on my couch and grade papers. This is what shocks me the most. That an average, everyday woman—whom I recently found out used to work from home as a medical transcriptionist before she quit to write full time—could get a guy like Jameson Kenter to fall in love with her. It gives me hope.

“I’m finished with my anal sex and it was magical!”

Aubrey and I glance over to the doorway as Jameson walks in.

“That sounded much better in my head,” he mutters before walking over to the table and giving Aubrey a kiss on the cheek then taking the seat right next to her. “I’ve got a thirty-minute break. What are we discussing?”

“I just finished listening to Heidi’s podcasts, and we were getting ready to move on to how she’s not comfortable around men and what we can do to fix that,” Aubrey explains. “Particularly, initiating conversations, flirting, making the first move, stuff like that.”

Jameson rests his arm on the back of her chair. I can’t stop the sigh that comes out of my mouth when I watch him rest his palm against the back of Aubrey’s neck and gently start massaging it.

God, I want that. I want a guy who doesn’t even think about doing it, who just sits down next to me and has to touch me.

“I think Heidi is plenty comfortable around men. She’s fine with me. She’s funny and talkative and adorable. And I’m Jameson motherfucking Kenter. It doesn’t get much more manly than that.”

“If you want to get laid in the next century, never speak those words out loud again.”

“Noted. But, another point in Heidi’s favor, she made the first move this morning by grabbing my arm and dragging me away from her aunt and friend. She touched a dude without giving it a second thought.” Jameson shrugs.

Oh, I gave it a second thought. I gave it so many second thoughts I almost had a nervous breakdown on the sidewalk.

“Um, excuse me,” I speak up. “It’s true. I do feel comfortable around you, but that’s probably because I don’t want to make out with you. I mean, no offense. You’re really pretty. You’re just not my type.”

Aubrey throws her head back and laughs, and Jameson presses his hand over his heart.

“You wound me, Heidi. You seriously wound me.”

Once Aubrey stops laughing, she leans over to the side away from Jameson and digs around in her purse that’s on the floor by her feet. She pops back up a few seconds later with a notebook and pen, smacking them down on the table.

“Okay, let’s do a quick little word association thing. It will help clear your mind so I can get a better idea of how you feel about this Brent guy,” she explains as she scribbles a few things in her notebook. “I’m going to say some random words. Just say the first thing that pops into your head when you hear them. Don’t think about it; just say what comes to you first.”

I nod, folding my hands in my lap as she begins.

“Clouds.”

“Fluffy,” I reply.

“Heart.”

“Love,” I say with a smile before she really gets down to business and we start the rapid-fire round.

“Tablecloth.”

“Dinner.”

“Boat.”

“Water.”

“July.”

“Fireworks.”

“Tomatoes.”

“Garden.”

“Brent.”

“Sex.”

My hand flies up and smacks over my mouth as soon as that word flies out in relation to Brent’s name.

Aubrey let’s out a loud, whooping cheer, dropping the pen and notebook to throw her hands up in the air.

“Yeah, that’s right, you dirty girl! I knew I’d find you in there somewhere!”

“I didn’t mean to say that! Wait. Did I mean to say that?”

“Of course you meant to say that. You did exactly as I asked. You didn’t think; you just said the first word that came to mind. And you, my sweet, adorable, new friend Heidi, have sex on the brain,” she says, turning in her chair to look at Jameson. “Honey, don’t get me anything for Christmas. This is my present, right here.”

Jameson chuckles before giving me a pointed look.

“See? I told you my wife would be over the moon about playing matchmaker. She can’t help herself.”

“I successfully set up Eric and Lindsey, didn’t I?”

“Yes, yes you did. My best friend and your best friend are blissfully happy,” Jameson concedes. “But are you forgetting about Alison and Colby?”

“Colby was a manwhore who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants, and no one gave me the full disclosure ahead of time about his wandering dick. That doesn’t count. Heidi is lovable and charming and beautiful, and she needs someone who will appreciate that. We just need to find out more about this Brent person to see if he fits the bill.”

Jameson and Aubrey both look at me expectantly, and I just shrug my shoulders.

“I don’t really know that much about him other than he’s really nice and sweet and he takes time out of his day to talk to me and ask me how I am.”