Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(40)

“This could vanish overnight, you know. I could be mauled by a bear while walking down the street tomorrow.” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Would you still want me then?”

Smiling at his comment, I tilted my head. “Of course. Your face isn’t the only thing that makes you attractive, Kellan. Your looks aren’t why I love you.” He smiled, his hands running up my back, urging me down to him. Before our lips met again, I gave him a pointed glance. “A bear?

Really?”

Chuckling, he pulled me all of the way down to him. As our hips met, rocking lightly against the other’s, the windshield quickly fogged up. I felt bodies hurriedly walking past the car, but with the noise of the rain and the windows tinted with moisture, I felt like we were the only two people around. As our breaths and kiss heated, Kellan murmured, “God, now I’m going to have to do something I never thought I would.” Moving up to kiss his cheek, I dug my hips into his. “What?” I breathed, the tip of my tongue lining the edge of his ear.





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He sucked in a quick breath, his hips under me rising off the seat. “I’m going to have to take you in this car,” he murmured back, his voice low and husky.

He was suddenly moving underneath me, trying to twist us around so he was on top. I quickly sat up before he was successful. While I felt alone out here, I knew we weren’t, and I wasn’t about to advertise what we were doing by rocking the car. He sat up on his elbows, breathless.

Splaying out his hands, he frowned. “Why did you stop?” Biting my lip and carefully moving away from his hips, I pushed his feet off the seat so I could sit comfortably. Pointing at him as menacingly as I could, I sternly said, “Because you have a rehearsal to get to, and if you blow it off again, Matt is going to kick you out of the band.” Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around me. “It’s my band, they can’t kick me out.”

He started kissing my neck and I tried not to lean into it, tried not to start panting with desire and clawing at his clothes. Pushing him back, I dug my finger into his chest. “I’m not having sex with you in the parking lot of my school.”

He glanced around, his eyes playful. “No one will notice.” Looking back at me, he raised an eyebrow. “Have you ever had sex in a car?” Blushing horribly, I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Yes, Denny and I…”

I didn’t finish that and Kellan’s playful grin faded. Releasing me, he scooted over to his side of the seat and nodded. “Oh, yeah…your road trip.” Sighing, he dug his hand in his pocket and took out his keys.

I tilted my head to see his face better, to see if he was upset or not, but I couldn’t tell from the angle. “Hey, you alright?” Smiling, he looked back at me as the car roared to life. “Yeah.” He shrugged, then grinning mischievously, he smirked. “I was just hoping to give you another first experience.” I watched his smile falter as he turned away from me. “I guess I missed my shot, though.” 113



Placing my hand on his thigh, I whispered, “There will be other firsts that you can give me, Kellan.”

Looking back at me as he put the car in reverse, he shook his head. “I know, Kiera.”

Wishing I could rewind time and not bring up an intimate moment with my ex to my current, I looked out the passenger’s side window as we drove to Kellan’s rehearsal. The guys generally met once a day to create new stuff or work out kinks in older stuff. Since it was how they made their living, they were all surprisingly dedicated to it. Well, except lately. Lately, Kellan had been blowing off rehearsals to spend some more time with me. Matt had been in a snit about it. Even though technically Kellan was right, and it was his band since he’d created it, Matt was the one that led it. He lined up the shows, he worked on marketing, he arranged rehearsals, and he demanded professionalism from the quartet of easily distracted twenty-somethings. The band was Matt’s baby.

Heading over the bridge connecting the U-District to the heart of Seattle, I watched the towering Space Needle fill my window. It was beautiful, iconic, and held a soft spot for me. Kellan had poured his heart out to me inside it. He’d opened up in ways he’d never opened up to anyone, ever. It made me incredibly sad that Kellan’s life could have been so different, if he’d just told someone about the abuse as a child. He could have been taken away, put in a loving foster home. Anything would have been preferable to his nightmare.

Looking back at him, I put my hand over his knee. He smiled at the contact, quickly glancing at me before shifting his eyes back to the road.

A small, dark part of me wondered if Kellan had only been attracted to me, stayed with me, fell in love with me, because his messed up psyche craved the pain I’d given him. Maybe he had a masochistic streak. If so, I’d certainly stoked it…over and over again. It truly was a miracle he’d ever taken me back.

Sighing, I leaned over and put my head on his shoulder. He relaxed his head against mine, his hand coming out to rest on my thigh. As the Needle

left

my

vision—tall

skyscrapers

holding

thousands

of





114


businessmen and women trailing along after it—we approached the in-dustrial district. This is where Evan had his loft. It made a perfect spot to play, since he didn’t live in a residential area like Kellan and the others.