Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(176)

“Look, I know you’re mad at me…for walking out on you, and I don’t blame you, but I was young and foolish and I hope you can give me a chance to make—”

Kellan cut the older version of himself off with one sharp question.

“Do you know what they did to me?”

His father bunched his brows. “Who? Your parents?” Kellan nodded, his jaw tight. “Did you know what they would do…how they would raise me…when you left? Did you know what sort of people they were?”

Again, his father blinked. “John and Susan? What are you talking about?” His eyes narrowed as he eyed Kellan cautiously.

Kellan cringed at hearing his parents’ names spoken, then he took a step towards his father. When he answered his father’s question, his voice, his jaw…his entire body was tight. “Did you know that you left me with people who would viciously abuse me…day in, day out?” His voice shaking, he quietly spat out, “Did…you…know?” His father’s face paled as he finally understood what Kellan was telling him, what Kellan had experienced growing up in that hellhole. By the tears in his eyes and the horror on his face, I don’t think he knew. Sometimes people that you thought you knew really well, could turn out to be people that you didn’t know at all. That seemed to be the case here.

“Kellan…no…I had no idea. I thought…” He swallowed, his eyes misting. “I thought I was leaving you to a happy home, happier than I could have given you back then.” As Kellan trembled, his father put his hand on his arm. “I know you won’t understand, but I was a mess back 498



then. I didn’t know what I was doing. I got caught up in something with your mother that…” he sighed, “was a horrible mistake.” Quickly, he amended with, “Not that you were a mistake, just, the situation…”

Kellan sighed, softening as he looked down on me. “Yeah, I think I get that part.” He held his eyes to mine and I could see the guilt in them, for what he’d done to Denny with me. If Kellan had gotten me pregnant back then…I wondered just what he would have done. Tried to raise the baby with me? Or left the baby with the person who he believed was the more responsible parent, in our case, Denny?

I honestly didn’t know what Kellan would have done. He didn’t seem to know either, and the idea that he may have made the same choice, softened him towards his father some. Kellan nodded at his dad, and exhaling with relief that Kellan somewhat understood, his dad smiled; the smile was just as beautiful as Kellan’s.

“I tried to see you once, you know. When you were about Riley’s age.” Kellan blinked and stared up at him. “No, Mom never mentioned that you…”

His father lowered his eyes. “Yeah, she told me that you didn’t know about me, that you believed John was your father.” He looked back up at Kellan. “Was that true?”

Kellan shook his head. “No, I’ve always known that I was a bastard child.”

His father flinched at his harsh description then shook his head. “She convinced me that I’d hurt you, by showing up in your life. That it was better if I stayed away…so I did.”

Swallowing the emotion building, Kellan’s father shook his head again. “She was manipulating me, because I hurt her. I never should have listened to her. I should have tried harder to see you…I’m so sorry.”

499



Kellan looked away and I watched a tear fall from the corner of his eye as he closed them. “I never knew you even thought about me,” Kellan whispered, his voice still trembling.

His dad put his hand on his arm. “Of course I did. What father could forget about his son, his firstborn?” When Kellan looked back at him, the weary man sighed. “I stayed away for the wrong reasons, thinking I was protecting you by letting you believe the lie, even after their deaths.” He choked up on the word death and cleared his throat. “But I’m here now, and I’d like to get to know you.”

Slapping on a casual smile, the same smile Kellan could wear, practically on cue, he extended his hand to Kellan. “Hello. My name is Gavin Carter, and I’m your father.”

Kellan grinned, then shook his head as he dropped my hand to grab his father’s. “I’m Kellan Kyle…and I guess I’m your son.” Laughing as they shook hands, Gavin said, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Kellan.”

Kellan nodded. “Yeah…you too.”

I was already holding back the sniffles when Gavin laid his other hand over their clasped ones. “I don’t want to push you, but you have a home with us in Pennsylvania, Kellan. Whenever you’re ready, you’re always welcome there.”

I wiped the tears off my cheeks as Kellan sniffed and nodded. Clasping his shoulder, Gavin said, “Can I buy you a beer?” Kellan looked back at me, but I grinned and nodded. He needed this.

He needed them. Even if he liked to think that he was fine on his own, a piece of Kellan had been missing from birth. He’d filled it with music, he’d filled it with sex, and he’d even filled it with me. But what he’d needed, was what he was now being offered—a family.

Kissing his cheek, I left him to begin the bonding process. I was still wiping my eyes as I walked back to the table where my parents were deep in conversation with Griffin and Anna; from what I could tell, they 500