Don't Let Me Fall(45)

“I don’t want to let you go,” Logan said pulling me into him so his chest is against my back. “Dammit, Rebeckah. Ever since the first day I met you, I didn’t want to let you

go. There is something about you that I can’t have enough of. I need you.”

No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t need me.

“God, if you just want to have sex then have sex with someone,” I said. I really don’t care.

“I don’t want to have sex with anyone else,” he said against my neck. “And I don’t just want you for sex. I don’t understand why you’re like this. Why do you push people

away?”

“Because I’m broken!” I said standing up. “I’m useless. Worthless. Damaged,” I cried. “Why would I bring people into that? I know I’m a bitch but I’m not that f*cked up. I

’m saving people from having to deal with me!”

Logan stood up so I took a few steps back in the sand.

“You are not broken, Rebeckah,” he said. “Or useless, worthless or damaged.” He took a step toward me. “You’re only human. Do you understand that?” He took one long stride

and grabbed my arms. “You’re not a machine. You have to feel something. You have to feel something good. You think people will hate you if they knew the real you. Look at me. I

know you. Some of you,” he said sliding his hand down to my wrist. “And I don’t hate you.” He laced our fingers together and the tears came out faster. “I want to get to know

you. I want you to let me in.”

“I’ll only disappoint you.”

“No,” he said sliding a hand to the back of my neck. “You won’t.” He leaned in and hovered over my lips for a few seconds. He’s making sure this is fine. That I want this.

I do.

I really do.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered against his lips.

“Well you have me,” he said closing the distance.

My body went up in flames as I fell into his arms. His mouth. His touch.

I don’t ever want this to stop.

I want to be happy.

But I know in the back of my mind that I’m going to f-uck this up. I will do something that will make him hate me. I can’t help it. I’m screwed up and I can only do so much good.

“Where do you want me to go?” I asked pulling away from him. I don’t want to stop but if he keeps kissing me like that, we’ll get arrested for indecent exposure in public. I

really don’t mind but there are kids that live around here. They don’t need to see that.

“It’s a surprise,” Logan said caressing my cheek. “Only go if you want to go.” His eyes held mine, trying to see the truth behind them.

“I want to go,” I whispered. I do…

He smiled and my eyes fell to his lips. I can’t help it. His mouth is like a drug and I need to have my fix. I pulled him in for another kiss before we got into his car.

“Just for the record, this is our first date,” Logan said glancing at me. The look on his face is telling me he wants November 22nd stored in a file for later use.

“You remember all your other first dates?” I asked.

Logan stared out at the road ahead of us for a few seconds. I thought he was going to pretend I didn’t ask the question but then he pushed a deep breath out and glanced at me.

“I didn’t really date,” he said.

My eyes found his and I got it. And I didn’t have a smartass comment or a judgmental one to say. Logan f*cked. He didn’t do dates. He’s just like me.

“I’m your first?” I asked, a small smile creeping on my lips.

His lips turned up and his eyebrows shot up.

“I wouldn’t say that. There were a lot–”

I smacked his arm and sat up straight in my seat.

“Don’t tell me there were a lot of girls on our first date. That messed things up. Do you want me to jump out and never talk to you again?” I asked.

“No,” Logan said reaching for my hand, lacing our fingers together. “I don’t want you to leave.”

I looked away as his eyes tried to hold mine. I can’t take the emotion running through them. It’s too much for someone like me to have.

“You’ll be my first too...” I said chewing on my lip.

Logan knows I’ve been with a lot of men before. Just one look at me and people can tell. Especially with my whole, ‘If I know your name, we’re not f-ucking’ thing. Whores do

that. We have no standards.

Then Logan pulled the oldest rule of first dates out.

“My middle name is Hunter,” Logan said.

I raised an eyebrow as I glanced at him. Hunter?

“My mom’s brother died when he was twenty. His name was Hunter,” he said reading my mind.

“Now I understand the stalking,” I teased.

Logan laughed and went back to watching the road.

“Are you going to keep me in the dark?” he asked a few seconds later when I didn’t say anything. “I didn’t think this was a one-sided conversation.”

I drummed my fingers of the hand Logan isn’t claiming on my thigh. Then I started picking at a loose thread on my sweater. It’s stupid but it feels weird to tell him my middle