Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(95)

Of course, I wanted to be with him and honestly, I was annoyed at myself for being so cautious, but it felt right. I had to listen to my gut, because my head and heart were screaming at me telling me I was a fucking idiot.

But my gut was always right. It was always the one I listened to most because it never steered me wrong… yet.

If we were meant to be, we would be. But it just didn’t feel right between us yet.

I smiled as I turned to see him strolling down the hallway, he looked so beautiful. He was wearing black suit trousers with a white shirt. His top two buttons were undone, his eyes glistening as they saw me, his lips turning at the corners as he approached. I was so used to seeing him in a tie and suit jacket at work, that seeing him in anything other than that attire seemed strange to me.

“Hey brat,” he winked, his arm wrapping around my shoulders as he pulled me into him and placed a soft kiss on my temple. My heart raced but I composed myself well.

“Hey,” I smiled back at him, ignoring the bolt that shot through me making my blood heat and my cheeks blush.

I gently pulled away from him, putting a small bit of distance between our two bodies. Being that close to him was torture. I was constantly fighting with myself to stop me acting the way I really wanted to.

Our fingers brushed, barely skimming as they touched. The spark coursed through me making me gasp; I pulled my hand away as if he had burned me.

“You okay?” he asked.

I nodded, pressing the button for the lift.

“I am,” I smiled at him before snapping my head round quickly to face the lift.

“You excited?” he asked, his hands sunken in his suit trouser pockets.

“I am, a little nervous but excited,” a nervous giggle slipped out of me, “how about you?”

“About the same,” he laughed, his eyes burning into the side of my head as he looked at me, but I ignored the magnetic pull to look at him.

Pulling up outside the doctor’s office, Killian parked and then took my hand as he helped me out the car.

“Here we go,” he beamed, I could see the glint of excitement flashing through his eyes.

“Mmhm,” I agreed, taking his hand before he shut the car door behind me. “You’re going to have to get a bigger car, that one is too low,” I groaned, looking at the Porsche.

“I know,” he agreed as he let go of my hand but now placed it on the small of my back. He pressed the buzzer and waited for the door to unlock. “If you’re free after, I was wondering whether I could show you something…” his voice trailed off as he looked down at me smiling. Our gaze locked, my heart thumped. I nodded yes.

“Good,” he mumbled as he placed a kiss into my hair.

“Killian,” I warned, slightly breathless.

But before he could reply, we were buzzed through. A few moments later we were booked in and waiting in the pristine waiting room. We weren’t waiting long before Doctor Kyra came out, smiling as she saw me.

“Ready?” she asked.

I smiled, standing with Killian close behind me.

After we went through the paperwork, I lay on the bed and waited for the probe.

“Do we want to know the gender of the baby today?” she asked.

“We do,” I smiled at her before turning to face Killian. His hand scooped up mine as he pressed the back of it to his lips, holding it there. I felt my heart constrict.

Killian wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the gender, but I had to know if my reading was right. Connie had arranged a gender reveal as well as a birthday party for me so thought we could do one little party with both.

It wasn’t going to be a massive get together, just her mums, Killian and a couple of the girls from work as well as Julianne.

We were hoping my parents could get over, but Connie is trying to deal with it and surprise me, but I can’t see it happening.

“Okay, let’s get started. We will find gender of the baby first then I will do all our checks.” Doctor Kyra said as she put gel on my tummy then pressed the probe.

“Any guesses?”

“I would love to say boy,” Killian said with a smile, “but let’s be honest, I’ve already had a girl, so I think it’ll be another girl.”

I shrugged as I laid down, looking at the screen, “I really don’t know. Every craving is savoury, I’ve had no sickness… I haven’t had any of the tell-tale signs for a girl so who knows.”

“Well, I do,” she smiled, turning the screen so we could see, “say hello to your daughter.”

I felt my eyes fill, my bottom lip trembling as I watched my baby girl kicking around on the screen. Killian stood, clasping my hands in his as he kissed me on the forehead then swiping my tears away with his thumb.

“A little girl,” I choked through my happy tears, “I’m really going to be a mum.”

It had just hit me. An overwhelming love that crashed through me, bulldozing anything I ever knew or felt. “You’re going to be a dad,” I whispered loudly. Killian’s thumb stroked the back of mine, as he sat back down.

No one could take her from me. No one could ever take my love for her away because I was always going to love her, like she was always going to love me.

“I’ve taken some screenshots for you ready to be printed when we have finished.” Doctor Kyra said as she began the examination, but I wasn’t really listening. I just watched in fascination as she measured the baby and checked her heart. She spent a little longer on the heart as she checked the baby’s chambers and valves. My pulse began racing faster as she continued looking.