What Doesn't Destroy Us (The Devil's Dust #1)(64)

Shadow undresses the rest of my body then leans against the wall looking off at nothing in particular.

“Aren’t you getting in?” I ask, confused, since we have taken showers together many times.

Shadow doesn’t speak or make eye contact, he just shakes his head no.

Climbing into the hot jets of streaming water, I instantly feel it washing away the repugnant touch of Ricky. I grab the shampoo bottle and squirt soap into my palm. I raise my hands to my head, stretching my ribs, and yelp with pain.

“Shit,” I mutter. How am I supposed to wash the blood away if I can’t even stretch my arms out?

“Damn it, Dani,” Shadow says, concerned. He rips his clothes off quickly and climbs in. Squirting soap into his hand, he says, “I got it.”

“No, I can do it. I don’t want you to take the role of caretaker,” I respond. I don't want Shadow to feel like he has to take care of me, especially if he is trying to push himself away from me. Just the mere thought guts me. While I was in that shitty-ass house I became hopeless, much like when I was a kid. I was weak, vulnerable, naive and feeble. No one saved me then, but when he delivered in rescuing me this time, Shadow crashed the remaining walls of protection I had, making me ultimately his. What hurts is that now he doesn’t want me.

“Just go. Don’t do this. You don’t have to take care of me,” I mumble, trying to salvage what dignity I have left.

“I want to take care of you. Don’t ever think otherwise.” Shadow plunges his soapy hands into my wet hair; his dexterous fingers work magic on my scalp. My body comes alive from every nerve ending. Internal warmth licks up my spine; gone with insecurity and alive with want. My lips part, my eyes close, as I take in the nurturing affection Shadow inflicts. I have never felt so cared for, so cherished before. Shadow pulls me closer and inhales deeply, I can feel his excitement flick against my lower back as he growls. His hands leave the soapy mess on my head and travel down my shoulders to roughly grab my soapy breast. I moan loudly; his hands igniting my need into a blazing fire.

“Just the sight of your soapy, flushed body has me ready to blow my load all over you,” Shadow whispers against my neck, his confession my undoing. I throw my arms over his neck, ignoring my screaming ribs and roll my neck onto his shoulder, inviting him to take me.

Shadow's moan thunders through his chest, sounding like a man-eating beast. He pushes me off his body. “As much as I want to take you right here in this shower, as badly as I want to paint your ass red right now, it would teach you nothing.” His voice, full of restraint and hostility, has my mind overpowering my body. I have had enough of his alpha male ego.

“Excuse me?” I ask, turning around to look at him; my eyes seething with anger.

“You heard me.” His words put out my arousal and light an internal rage.

“You are not to pleasure yourself either. I will know if you do and you won’t like the consequences.” Shadow looks right into my eyes, promising me that if I disobey his wishes I will be punished. He's pushing sanity over the edge, yet making me about to cum at his words.

“I will do what I want, you don’t own me!” I yell, my fury so strong my vision goes blurry. My darkness is trying to rise. It seems it’s wanting to appear more often here lately.

Shadow grabs my wrists and pins them down by my waist. He holds my body against the shower stall. “I do own you. You are mine“! Shadow places his knee in between my legs and spreads them wide. My heart drops at his words; who is this man? I have never seen this side of Shadow before. My body wiggles to try and make contact with his knee; it’s desperate for anything.

“Do you want to run now? Do you want to deny that you're mine“? Shadow asks, his voice gruff. This is wrong; I’m not a possession, I’m not a submissive. It’s not fair that he is playing with my mind. He says he wants me, but acts differently.

I'm too weak to say anything. I want Shadow; he made me want him. My body is on high alert wanting more of Shadow's touch. My folds, dripping from kindling arousal, disagree with my mind; wanting to be owned and loved by Shadow. Giving Shadow everything, maybe he will see how much trust that takes from my side; maybe that will open his mind to trust me. My internal battle has me confused, but my body speaks volumes over my mind.

“No, I’m yours.” I don't realize I've spoken the words out loud until Shadow's lips turn up into a wolfish grin.

“Good.” Shadow smashes his lips on mine hard, opening the cut on my lip, demanding and imprinting his mark to seal the deal. Making it official; Shadow is my kryptonite.

My eyes widen at his behavior; I'm confused but intrigued nonetheless.

“I’m not any different,” Shadow asserts, reading my facial expression. “I demand control; I don’t do well without it. I have always been like that. When you were taken against my will, I lost control. I never knew another person could have such an affect on me until you were taken.” Shadow steps out of the shower, leaving me with a confusing amount of feelings. He's trying to prove to himself he doesn’t need me; the reaction he felt when I was taken is new to him. I shouldn’t be okay with this; I shouldn’t be turned on by this, but I am both. My lips turn upward into a grin. I will prove to Shadow he needs me as much as I need him.





I wake up in bed alone. I’m sure Shadow has church again this morning, seems like I will have to get used to waking up alone if I want to be with him. I know church is important to the boys; I bet they have a lot to talk about after the kidnapping.