What Doesn't Destroy Us (The Devil's Dust #1)(60)

As Doc stitches up my arm, I contemplate what exactly I’m going to say to Dani. She’s going to have questions; more than I’m willing to answer. Not fully trusting her is going to be a problem, and who her daddy is makes for a bigger problem. If I don’t make her happy, all it takes is her crying to daddy before another shot is fired off in my direction. Bull ordering her to stay with me pisses me off. If this whole situation shows me anything, it’s that I just need to stay away from her before both of us are dead.





Laying on the bed listening to my iPod, “Demons” by Imagine Dragons is roaring in my headphones when Shadow walks in holding his arm. Dry blood is swirled around his arm and his face is grimaced with pain and confusion. I yank the headphones off and try to sit up, but the overwhelming pain makes me lay back down.

“What happened?” I ask, pointing at all the blood on his arm and the big bandage wrapped around it.

“What happened? Let’s just say your dad didn’t take me being with you under his nose very well,” he says sarcastically, laying on the bed next to my feet. The fog starts to show face in the corners of my vision; I blink tightly trying to push it away.

“Oh.” What can I say? He just took a bullet to be with me.

He turns his head, still lying flat on his back, to look at me. “Oh?” he says mockingly, making my dazed state breed anger. His mother did this to me. He said I was safe, but how safe was I when that Ricky guy nearly f*cked me with his tongue.

“I mean-to be fair, I am like this because of your mother and–“ I pause not sure who Ricky is. Is he Shadow’s father? Shadow just glares at me, knowing my next question.

“Are you f*cking kidding me?” he barks at me while lifting from the bed. “I tried to warn you from the day you pounced on me like a dog in heat!”

Really? He's turning this all on me, acting as if it is my fault this happened.

“Excuse me?” I yell back, my ribs and head howl with savage pain. I gasp and continue my rant. “I didn’t see you putting up a big fight, *!” I wince, and hold my head. My whole body stiffens at the karate kicking in my skull.

“You broke a law climbing on the back of that f*cking bike with that dick weed, Dani, not me!” he says, his chest puffed out in anger.

I look up through my lashes and see his face etched with worry. He is so confusing. I don’t remember much from the kidnapping, but I remember the tone and how caring Shadow was when I thought he was a dream. Now that I’m here and he knows I'm safe, he’s back to demanding Shadow again.

Fury drowns my pain. How dare he act as if this is all my fault; does he have any idea what I just went through? Trying to remember everything is hard; I have lots of questions, I just can't remember all of them.

“Who is Ricky?” I whisper, curious. That is one I do remember. I will never forget him; the way he made my skin crawl. I would need a shower of acid to be rid of him.

Shadow sighs deeply, and throws his hands over his face.

“Is he your dad”? If he was indeed his dad, then maybe Shadow was more messed up than I thought. He just killed him without so much as a blink of an eye.

“No, he was not my father,” Shadow says flatly, clearly irritated I would even insinuate that.

I bite my lip at his tone. When I was in that shit-hole of a room, all I could think about was Shadow. I realized that I love him and sadly that I don't even know who he is.

“Maybe I wouldn’t get that idea if you would share with me, Adrian.” I say his name sharply, his head nearly snapping off at the sound.

“How do you know my name?” he asks, astounded.

“Your mother, if she is indeed your mother, kept calling you by that name,” I say sarcastically, the fog and blurry visions washing over my senses like an eager wave.

Shadow sits up on the bed and runs his hands through his hair. His body is stiff; when he looks at me, his eyes are unreadable.

His hesitation gives me the feeling he doesn’t trust me. I don’t know why, I haven’t done anything for him to question my loyalty.

“This will never work if you don’t let me in,” I sputter, feeling hurt. The pain in my head and ribs don’t compare to the hurt he just inflicted on my soul.

“You don’t trust me,” I say. The way his eyes glaze over confirms the accusation, sucking the breath from my lungs. He winces at the hurt dilating my eyes, his face softens.

“I don’t trust easily. I want to trust you, I do, but then I don’t,” he says, looking down at the comforter. I can see he's uncomfortable with his trust issues. I can’t hate him for not trusting me; not when he wants to but he just doesn’t know how. It’s not that he can’t trust me, I just simply need to earn it. The ache in my chest lessens at the thought.

“Then talk to me, Shadow, damn it”! I cry as the pain radiates through my head like fire.

“Damn it, Dani, calm down. You're hurt.” Shadow climbs up the bed and envelopes my body into his. My nerves and mixed emotions, as high and thick as the evening tide, relax as my body molds to his. The smell of sweat and woodsy body wash lick my senses, making me feel at home in his strong arms.

We lay that way for a while, just listening to each other breathe. Our heartbeats become one and our breathing syncs with one another. I hate that I'm so head-over-heels for Shadow when he may not feel the same.