What Doesn't Destroy Us (The Devil's Dust #1)(58)

“Doc’s here, Dani,” Shadow says, brushing my hair away from my face. I have never seen such a caring side of Shadow. I turn, wincing from just the slightest movement.

“Hey, Dani, you can call me Jessica.” The blond beauty struts into the room wearing white scrubs and carrying a black bag. When they said Doc was coming, I envisioned an old, bald guy with nasal hair.

“What hurts, honey?” she asks, pulling out a stethoscope from her black bag.

“I have a headache and my ribs,” I rasp. Just talking makes my head throb and my ribs bite with torturous pain.

“What about your neck?” she asks, nodding toward my neck.

“My neck?”

“It looks like you were choked; were you raped?” she asks with sensitivity.

“What?” Shadow steps up next to Jessica.

She stands up and places her arms on Shadow's shoulders pushing him back. Just the simple gesture makes me jealous.

“I need you to go stand outside, Shadow. All of you need to give us some privacy,” Jessica says, still pushing Shadow toward the door. For the first time, I see Bull and Bobby standing in the doorway.

“Yeah, I need to talk to you and Bobby anyway, Shadow,” Bull says, grabbing Shadow’s shoulder roughly.

Once Bobby and Shadow leave the room, Bull pops his head back in. “Uh, Doc?” Bull asks roughly, his voice full of authority and hostility.

“Yes?” she answers, sitting back down on the bed. She looks at my dad over her shoulder.

“When you're done with Dani, you may want to stick around.”

“Hmm, I wonder what that's about.” She looks at me with her left eyebrow lifted.

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When I received the picture of Dani beaten within an inch of her life and saw the way Ricky had his f*cking hands on her, the beast was released without thought. I'd know that ugly pink and blue lighting in the background of that picture anywhere; it's a bar Bobby dragged me to years ago. After finding the bar, it was only minutes before we found the house. I had my head so wrapped up in Dani, I didn’t even wait for Bull to give orders. I just went in, ready to blow anyone’s head off that stood in my way. When I saw Dani on the floor beaten, I lost all thought. I felt like I had no control; hopeless, afraid, and in love.

I still can’t believe I told Dani I loved her. I didn’t realize the feelings that had been stirred up were ones of actual love. Can a guy like me love, is it possible? Is it possible to love a guy like me? After saying the words without meaning to, I know I feel deeply for Dani, but I just don't trust her, not fully anyway. In the world I live in, trust is harder to earn than love. Take me sitting here at this table, all my brothers eyeing me, because I broke the law of trust among us.

“You f*cking Dani?” Bull asks, his voice bitter and cold.

Not all that happy to give all my brothers images for their spank bank, I grit my teeth and answer, “yes.”

“You know about this, Bobby?” Bull asks. I feel regret wash over me for bringing Bobby into this, but I tried to warn the f*cker.

Bobby looks over the table at me, his stare held straight. We were brothers before this club, and I knew he had my back to the grave.

“Yes, I did.” He speaks with courage but we both know we are only minutes from pissing ourselves. Bull is not one to be messed with, especially when it comes to trust. One time we had a prospect get arrested and all the boy did was mention the club was having a party, that Bull had lined it up for us to have some coke and whores to relax with. Thankfully, we had the cop in our pocket so nothing came of it. Sadly for the new prospect, though, he was put six feet under, but not before Bull tore his tongue out with an old rusty knife for ratting.

“Trust like a sinner,” Bull mutters under his breath.

“I'm not someone you would normally trust; hell, I'm the biggest sinner there is, but I thought this club had a circle of trust. You broke my trust, boys, something that’s not easily earned.” Bull speaks with primal authority.

“You think Dani is tough enough to live in this world? Her mother wasn’t. What makes you think I want the likes of you being with my little girl? I know the f*cked up world you live in. The darkness that rattles your cage is not something I want around my daughter,” Bull roars as he pounds his fist into the table. I forget that Bull knows a lot about my shadows; shadows I will have to reveal to Dani eventually.

“She hasn’t been here a month, and just a piece of you nearly gets her killed, maybe even raped. She may leave, my daughter I just met, might leave because she can’t stand to be around you, one of my best men. What am I supposed to do about that?” Bull asks, his voice calm and smooth. It was as if he was bipolar, one minute yelling and slamming tables, the next quiet and cool.

Dani is a big girl, maybe for once she would like to make her own choices and her own life. Sadly for her, if she is mine, that will never happen.

“I think-“

“You don’t get to think,” Bull yells, cutting me off, “thinking has you f*cking up my club and having brothers lying for you. You broke a law!” he screams. “Fucking with the president's daughter and lying behind my back!

“Candy the other day, was over you, wasn’t it?” I don’t answer; I know it’s a rhetorical question and nothing I say will help anyway.