Toxic: Logan's Story (Torn #4)(35)

I raised an eyebrow. “He let you?”

She looked sad for the first time. “He wasn’t in any shape to take care of me.”

“Huh? Why not?”

She stared up at me, sadness filling her brown eyes. “He was too busy mourning Mom. She’s dead, Jade. She had a heart attack. She’s been gone for five f*cking years, and you didn’t even know!”

My heart stopped. My lungs refused to suck in air. I stared at my sister as I tried to process what she had told me. Mom is dead. A cry erupted from my chest. My lungs were working again, but all I could manage to do was scream. This couldn’t be happening. No! My mother couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t have been dead for five years without me knowing.

I heard footsteps running to me, and then Logan was there. He picked me up and pulled me into his arms.

“What did you do to her?” he shouted at Bethaney.

“I told her the truth. Our mother is dead, and she had no f*cking clue.”

I felt Logan’s arms tense around me.

He cursed under his breath as he pulled me tighter against him. “Jade, calm down. Come on, it’s going to be okay. Calm down.”

I couldn’t calm down, not entirely. My body shuddered as I continued to cry in his arms. Up until this moment, I’d thought I hated my mom. She’d idly sat by while David punished me over and over again, both mentally and physically. She’d never said a word, never tried to stop him.

But damn it, she was my mother. How could I not feel pain over losing her?

“How did I not know? Why didn’t someone contact me?” I finally managed to get out.

“You disappeared, Jade. We looked for you for a long time after you left, but we came up with nothing. It was like you had vanished into thin air. How were we supposed to tell you what had happened when we couldn’t even find you?”

“I want to see her,” I said once my tears slowed.

Logan looked like he was about to argue, but I shook my head.

“I want to see her!”

All three of us winced at the shrillness in my voice.

Logan kissed my forehead before looking over at Bethaney. “Where is she buried?”

“The cemetery a few miles from here.” She hesitated for a second. “I’ll show you where. I don’t think Jade could tell you where the front door is at this point.”

He nodded as he stood up, still cradling me in his arms. He carried me to his car and sat me gently inside. Bethaney had disappeared inside the house, but she came back out and walked to the car. Once she and Logan were inside the car with me, she started giving him directions. Besides that, no one spoke.

Logan kept my hand in his as he drove. I felt comforted by the touch. Logan was strong. He was good. He would take care of me.





Why is the sun still shining so brightly? That was my first thought when we pulled through the cemetery gates. I felt like I’d lost a piece of myself, and it didn’t seem right that the sun kept shining.

“Park over there,” Bethaney said from the backseat.

Logan steered the car off the road and put it in park. After he turned the key to shut it off, we all sat motionless. The silence seemed to push against me. It was too much. The car suddenly felt too small. I shoved the door open and all but fell out. My knees hit the gravel, and I barely noticed when I heard my jeans rip on the jagged edges of the rocks.

Logan was out of the car and by my side in an instant. He crouched down beside me without saying anything and lifted me until I was standing. I turned my attention to Bethaney as she climbed out of the car.

“Where?”

She pointed toward a few graves in the back. “There.”

I walked to where she’d pointed. I was surprised when my steps didn’t falter. Instead, I kept a solid pace until I reached my mother’s headstone. I stared down at it. Up until this moment, I’d hoped that Bethaney was simply playing a horrible joke on me. The words on the stone let me know just how serious she was.

Elizabeth Dawn Walters

Beloved Mother and Wife





1970-2008


I wiped my eyes as I stared down at the words engraved in the stone. She was really gone. For some reason, I didn’t feel the overwhelming sadness I had felt when Bethaney told me. I was still hurting and definitely still in shock, but it wasn’t all-consuming. Maybe I’d lost it before because it was such a surprise. Regardless of the reason, all I felt while staring at my mother’s final resting place was a hollow ache in the pit of my stomach. This was the end of the road between the two of us. There would be no reunion, no peace.

I shook my head. This isn’t right. She should have to answer to me for what she did.

“You got lucky,” I said between clenched teeth. I was suddenly angry with my mother for leaving before I had a chance to say what I wanted to her. “Death was an escape from what you did. I hope you died regretting what you let him do to Bethaney and me.”

I heard Bethaney’s sharp intake of breath. “Jade!”

I ignored her. I didn’t care if she was upset with me. “You just stood there and watched him hit me! And I’m sure that you did the same with Bethaney! What kind of mother does that?”

Logan wrapped his arms around my shoulders, but he said nothing. I leaned into him, letting him give me strength.