Toxic: Logan's Story (Torn #4)(38)

“My mother?”

“She was everything to me, and she’s gone now. Bethaney is gone, too. I have nothing left.”

“How could you do the things you did to me?” I asked, refusing to think about what he’d just said.

“You were a reminder that your mother didn’t love me—at least, not the way I loved her. I tried to give her everything, yet she still strayed.”

“It wasn’t my fault that she cheated! I can’t believe the things you put me through just because you were angry with my mother!”

“It didn’t matter. You were there every single day, living in my house. You were a constant reminder of what she’d done. I couldn’t take it.”

“Why did you hurt Beth when I left?” I asked.

The fight in me was gone. The man I’d wanted to hurt no longer existed.

“I don’t know.”

“You can’t be serious. You don’t know?” I stood and backed away from him. “I hope that my mother’s memory haunts you until the day you die, David. I want you to suffer day after day just like I did.” I stepped around him and walked to the door.

When I opened it, he called out, “Jade?”

“What?” I spit out.

“I…I saw you on TV with that band. Your mother would have been proud of you. She always loved you. She was just too afraid of me to tell you.”

I turned to face him one last time. “It’s too bad that I couldn’t be proud of her. All those years, David, you tried your hardest to destroy me. I want you to know you didn’t. When I left here, I found a new family, a family who loves me. I found my place in life right where I always wanted it to be—behind the drums you hated so much. I found someone I care about, and he doesn’t think I’m worthless or in the way. I found a best friend who has taken care of me when I’ve needed him the most. I found myself, and after today, I will never look back. The minute I walk out this door, you are dead to me. You will rot away in this house by yourself, knowing that no one in this entire f*cking world gives a damn about you. And while you’re here, do you know where I’ll be? I’ll be out there—living, laughing, loving. I f*cking found myself, and you’ll never take that away from me. Good-bye, David.”

I left him on his knees. I wanted that to be my last memory of David – bleeding, defeated, and broken. I walked back to the car and climbed in without once looking back.

Logan looked worried as he stared at me. “So?”

“It’s done. Let’s go.”

“What’s done? Jade, what did you do?”

I knew he was worried that I’d done something stupid.

“I punched him and kicked him in the balls. Then, I told him I hoped my mother’s memory haunted him for the rest of his life. That’s it. After that, I just walked out,” I said calmly.

“That’s it?” he asked, surprised.

“That’s it. What did you think I was going to do?”

He shrugged. Then, he started the car and backed out of the driveway. “I had no clue. I never know what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“Neither do I, Logan. Neither do I.”





Logan stopped at a pizza place and grabbed us dinner before heading back to the hotel. I hadn’t even realized how late it was getting. By the time we made it to our room, the sun was starting to set. Like the night before, we sat on my bed and ate dinner. I tried to focus on the TV, so I didn’t have to think about today. I wasn’t calm enough yet to think about my words to my dead mother or the look in David’s eyes.

Once we finished the pizza, I grabbed clean clothes and walked to the bathroom. “I’m going to shower,” I called over my shoulder.

I turned on the water and stripped down as it warmed up. Once it was hot enough to burn me, I stepped into the spray. My skin was bright red within seconds, but I didn’t care. I was trying to wash the past off of me. I scrubbed my hair until my scalp was screaming at me to stop.

After I rinsed out the shampoo, I grabbed the soap and a washcloth. I started running it over my skin roughly, but I barely noticed the pain. I just wanted a fresh start, and I couldn’t do that if I didn’t wash away every trace of the past. I wasn’t satisfied with the washcloth, so I dropped it to the floor and started running my nails across my skin. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I couldn’t stop.

I just want to be clean.

I looked down to see that my nails had clawed deep enough into my arm that I was bleeding. I screamed and hit my fist against the side of the shower stall. When that didn’t help, I slid down the wall and brought my knees up to my chest. I couldn’t stop the cries of despair pouring out of me. I just wanted to let it all go, and I wasn’t sure if that were even possible.

I looked up when the stream of water stopped. Logan was staring down at me with a horrified expression.

“Oh, Jade.” He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me.

I clung to him as he lifted me from the floor and carried me to my bed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be sorry. You can’t control how you feel right now.” He reached for my arm and turned it over, so he could see the scratches I’d made. “These aren’t too deep. I can bandage them up if you want.”