The Space Between Us(95)

“You’re going to have to give me one more reason, Bit.” As the words fell from his mouth, the clasp of my bra popped open and it fell to the floor, next to my dress. His hands obviously felt like they had more room to roam and he didn’t waste any time. My eyes rolled back into my head as his hand found my breast. And if I thought the feeling of his fingers brushing against my nipple was the most wonderful feeling in the world, I wasn’t prepared for his hot mouth to close over the other one.

“Give me one good reason,” he said around my flesh, the vibrations of his words mixed with the heat of his mouth making both breasts ache with need. I hadn’t felt need like this in years – over a decade. I didn’t want him to stop, not really. I wanted everything he was offering. The problem was, I wanted so much more.

“If we do this, Asher, if we have sex tonight, there’s no going back for me. I won’t be able to walk away. I’ll fall right back in love with you. Do you understand that? The more you touch me, the more you make me feel alive again, the worse it’s going to be for me when this is over. So, as much as I want this, as much as I want you, or us, I can’t put myself through another thirteen years of trying to get over you.”

As I made my declaration, as I spoke the truest words I’d spoken since the day I told him I was pregnant, his hands moved to cup my face and my chest came to rest against his. Our noses were nearly touching, our breaths intermingling. I was waiting for him to pull away, realizing what I had, that this was a mistake.

“Bit,” he whispered right before he placed a gentle kiss against my mouth. The kiss was sweet and soft, and my eyes began to water when I thought it was a goodbye kiss. If this was the last time, the last kiss, I wanted to remember it. I threaded my fingers through his hair and brought my body against his. I felt the sobs coming and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold it together much longer. I felt his hands move from my face and my heart started pounding at his absence. His lips moved off me and a cry escaped me.

Then I felt his hand float through my hair and wrap around it, tugging it down, pulling my face up to look at him once more. Then he pulled it to the side, causing my neck to bend, exposing the delicate skin. He ran his nose up and down the curve created for him, smelling and tasting me, before he landed his lips right in the juncture of my neck and shoulder, the sensitive spot that made my toes curl.

“We aren’t going to have sex tonight,” he said against my neck making me shiver. “I’m going to take you into the bedroom, lay you down, and show you how much I love you. How much I’ve always loved you. And tomorrow, when we wake up, it will be something new. A beginning. You’ll never have to get over me again, because I’m not going anywhere.”

I made the decision at that moment, with his mouth against my skin and his hands in my hair, to trust him and to trust myself to make the best decision.

“Show me,” was all I said and he had me lifted into his arms instantly. As he carried me out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, his mouth found mine again and his previously sweet and soft kisses had a more urgent feeling now. Thirteen years of built-up tension and longing made everything intensify. He laid me down on the bed and climbed over me. His nearness was overwhelming. I reached up to unbutton his shirt and the feeling of his warm skin beneath the fabric nearly burned me. When his mouth found the spot beneath my ear that he used to be so familiar with, it sent shockwaves through my system.

I reached up and slid his shirt over his shoulders and down his arms, feeling the tight muscles along the way. In college he was always in such good shape from basketball and summers on his grandfather’s farm, and although his frame was still sturdy and strong, he was more masculine than I ever remembered him being. He’d grown up and I realized I laid with a man. This would be different and for that I was glad. I didn’t want a reminder of what we used to be, I wanted to move forward.

His mouth moved down from my neck and over my collarbone. He splayed light kisses everywhere his mouth went while his hands roamed over my heated skin.

“You feel so good, Bit.”

I smiled at his words, at his nickname for me. It was the first time I’d heard it and not felt my heart clench in pain.

“I agree. I feel pretty damn good.” I felt him chuckle against the soft tissue of my breast, but then gasped as his mouth closed around my nipple, sucking fiercely, his tongue alternatively flicking and licking. His other hand moved to my empty breast and gave the other nipple a gentle yet firm tug. My hands found their way to his hair and threaded through his locks, gripping slightly. Each tug and suck of my breasts ignited a fury of flames between my legs and I found myself grinding my hips up towards him, looking for contact.

His mouth moved down, skimming over the skin of my stomach, stopping to tease my navel. I felt his hands lightly trail down my sides, stopping at my waist and holding on. He lifted his head and I saw him move over to my ribcage that bared his name.

“I like seeing my name on you,” he said as he placed one small kiss over it.

“I liked having it. In a small way it was like you were always with me.” I continued to push my fingers through his dark hair, the feeling of it almost hypnotizing.

“I never left you, Bit. I promise. I never moved on and I never wanted anyone else. It’s always just been you.”

“I know,” I replied softly. His hands moved down to my panties, the only article of clothing I had left. His fingers eased themselves inside the top and he looked at me with raised eyebrows, asking for permission. I gave him a nod and a smile – all the go-ahead he needed. I lifted my hips as he pulled them down. Once I was bare, I watched his eyes glide over me, stopping to focus on my core. His hands ran up and down my thighs and I inhaled sharply as he gently pushed my knees apart, spreading me open for him. He must have sensed my nervousness because he leaned forward and pressed a small kiss just above my mound, his hands wrapping around my hips to grip my ass, pulling me closer to him.