The Redemption(64)

I’ve failed as you can see. I’m starting to think that it’s not about proving myself good enough so I can have more of you, but more about learning to enjoy what simple pleasures I’m given—your smile, for instance. I could write a song about the way your smile brightens my soul, filling it with light and hope, something pure that never existed there before.

Your eyes—the way they pinch at the corner when you’re frustrated and widen when you’re happy. The golden brown brings new meaning to the word brilliance.

The laugh that makes me want to become a comedian just to hear it more. The olive of your skin that makes me crave to lick every inch as well as caress it. These days I’d settle for a simple touch.

Your beauty exudes all that you are on the inside. I find myself wanting to consume your every breath and mark you as mine. Weaknesses I’m struggling to overcome.

But when you hit bottom, sometimes you’re given the gift of clarity. Me without you is never the answer. I need you. The way you make me feel… it’s good enough. It makes me better because you’re around. It made me realize that when I’m with you, I’m good enough.

Love,

Dex



I reread the letter seven times before I run around my couch, my world full of hope again as I hold it to my heart. I love being a mom and responsible, but sometimes it’s just good to be a giddy girl again.

“Dance party, Mama,” CJ says, running after me.

I bend down and smile, then kiss him on the head. “Yes, we should have a dance party.” Grabbing the remote, I flick on the music and then find an upbeat pop song. He jumps on the couch and I set the letter down on the table before standing on the hearth and shaking my booty. “Neil?” I call out. “Come dance with us.”

I turn up the music just as he peeks his head around the corner. With a smile on his face, he comes in and jumps up on the hearth with me and starts dancing too.

Later that night in bed, I reread the letter and wonder if I should write back or call or do nothing. I’m not sure, but maybe he’s telling me what he can’t say to me in person. Maybe that’s why I don’t see him much these days. He’s struggling to respect the boundaries I put in place. And now it’s my turn to respect him and to protect him. I tuck the letter in my nightstand and go to bed with a smile beaming from my heart.





The following day, around 10 a.m. my gate buzzer sounds. I get up from the kitchen table where I have a bunch of files spread out and answer it. Depressing the button, I say, “Who is it?”

“FedEx. I’ve got a package for Rochelle Floros.”

I look through the camera and see the delivery guy standing there with a small box in his hands. Buzzing him in, I watch as he sets it on the front step and knocks. I open the door and sign for the package before closing it and locking it behind me.

I never have packages delivered to my home, so the whole thing is odd until I see the sender’s name—Caggiano. I hurry into the kitchen and reach for the scissors to open it. When the flaps are released, I see a Disney hat with mouse ears on top. My name is stitched on the back and the note attached reads: Wear Me.

Following directions I put the hat on and then dig out the card. A Magic Kingdom ticket falls to the counter. The card says: Please meet me at 8:30 tonight, the front gates of Disneyland. Ask for Bob Hervine.

Disney at eight-thirty? What is he up to? I’m too intrigued to not go. Looking at the time, I have hours before the kids are home. I pick up my phone and call Beth. She answers after the first ring every time, which I love. “Hello?”

“Hi, It’s Rochelle.”

“Hi, how’s it going?”

“Good. I wanted to see if you were free tonight, around seven?”

“Sure,” she replies. “You got a hot date?”

I pause to think about it, then reply with a laugh, “I’m not really sure.”

“I’m happy to come over. I don’t have any classes until ten in the morning, so feel free to stay out as long as you like.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tonight.”

I walk into the bedroom and start rummaging through my clothes to figure out what I should wear. When I go into the bathroom, I burst out laughing that I’m still wearing the mouse ears. I set the hat on my bed along with a sweater just in case it’s chilly and sneakers on the floor since it’s Disney and I’ll be walking a lot. I’d prefer sexy, but for an amusement park, I’m going practical.





I ride the tram from the parking lot to the park. Walking up to the front gates, I’m wondering how I’m ever going to find a Bob Hervine at this hour when it’s dark. As my ticket is taken, a Disney Cast Member says, “Wait right over here please. Bob will be with you momentarily.”

Well, there you go.

“Ms. Floros?”

I turn around to see a stocky man with a rotund belly coming toward me and a huge smile on his face.

“Yes,” I respond. “I’m Rochelle.”

“I’m Bob. Nice to meet you,” he says.

I shake his hand. “Nice to meet you as well.”

He starts walking, but stops, and says, “C’mon. We’re on a tight schedule.”

“Oh.” I hurry to catch up with him. “Sorry.”