The Redemption(59)

I stand, not able to contain my emotions over this anymore. Walking toward the pool, I stop and yell, “I opened my heart to you. And you hurt me, Dex!”

He follows me and even though I want to back away, needing the space, I stay. My conflicting heart spiting me. He stops a few feet away and stares into my eyes. Keeping his voice low, he says, “Let me heal you.”

The racing starts, the flutters back, but my rational side takes charge. “I can’t. I can’t let you back in.”

“You already have. You just won’t admit it. I’m in there,” he says, glancing to my heart, then back up. “I’m in there and I refuse to leave.”

It’s my turn to gulp heavily, touched by his words. “Why did you lie to me?”

“To protect you. I may be in your life, but it doesn’t mean I deserve to be.”

“I don’t know how to respond when you say things like that.”

“I don’t need words.”

“Then tell me what you need. What do you want from me?”

“Everything.”

My breath catches as we stare into each other’s eyes. He’s serious. He’s impossible. He makes me want to give him more than I should. “You want too much from me.” Looking down, I shake my head, needing to stand my ground. “I can’t give you everything. I don’t know how to be enough for you.”

“You’re enough. I found that out the hard way.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Actually, I found out the hard way. You knew what you were doing when you brought her back here. I’m the one who was blindsided.”

“I’m a cliché, Rochelle. I never claimed otherwise.”

“You fall back on the perceptions, then complain that no one sees the real person behind the fa?ade. You can’t have it both ways.” I walk to a nearby chaise and sit, needing the support under such a heavy conversation.

“See?” he says, smiling. “You know me better than anyone. After the letters, you also know more than I’ve ever shared with another person.” He comes and sits next to me. “But what you fail to realize is you’re the only person that I want to see the real me. And for you, I’d do anything. So when you told me I wasn’t good enough, you’re right, I wasn’t… and I wanted to prove that by f*cking Firenza.”

“And?” I glance down, then back up.

“And I discovered that you were in here.” He says, touching his chest briefly. “You weren’t a fantasy anymore. You had managed to take the one real thing I had left—”

“So you couldn’t f*ck her because you might lo—”

“Yep, I like you, more than you’re ready to hear right now. So we’re gonna take this round slower again.”

Surprised by his arrogant assumption, I sit upright. “Who says there’s going to be another round?”

His fingers take hold of my chin, keeping my face focused on his. “I do.”

Backing away, I snap, “That’s either extremely romantic like in the movies or totally creepy. I haven’t decided yet. Anyway…” I shrug, trying to regain control of the situation. “…You leave in two days.”

“We can get into a lot of trouble in two days.” Now he shrugs, instigating me by acting like it’s not big deal. “You know, if you’re up for some fun and stuff. I don’t know. Maybe you can’t handle fun anymore.”

With a challenging eyebrow raised, I say, “I’m not falling for your ploy, Mr. Caggiano. I’m not dumb and I thought we were going to slow this round way down?”

“Friends who get into trouble together don’t go slow. They set their own pace. Speaking of trouble, Spears was all over the news.”

“I wasn’t going to bring him up, but yeah, I heard about the broken leg.”

“Karma’s a bitch.”

“I might have had the same thought.” He stands before me and offers me two hands. When I take them, I whisper, “What are we doing, Dex?”

He gently nudges me and smiles. “Hanging out, pretending we can go slow when all I want to do is go fast with you.”

Falling for his boyish charms, I nod. “Me too, but let’s settle on medium for now.”

“Medium it is.”

The alarm on my phone chimes, the magic that was returning gone in a flash as reality sets back in. With a heavy sigh, I say, “I need to go. I have a couple of calls and a lot of work to do this afternoon.”

His shoulders drop just a little, but I notice, the disappointment apparent though his voice hides it. “I have some errands to do.” He starts walking and I go inside with him.

I shut the back door and say, “I wish I could stay. I like when we’re this way.”

The right side of his mouth lifts, a slight crinkling on the outside of his eyes reveal his inner emotion. “I like when we’re this way too.” Taking my hand in his, he brings it up and kisses the underside of my wrist. His lips smooth and purposeful as his eyes lock onto mine.

The boys come running through the kitchen, circling us, then back out, but he still has my wrist to his mouth, savoring it. My heart is too weak to be broken again so soon, so I ask, “How many times do we do this before we accept the truth?”