The Letters (Carnage #4)(33)

“Squeeeeeeeee! It’s like a scene from a book or a film. Fuck, I can just imagine TDH being all alpha and domineering.”

“Oh.”

I look up at Jimmie.

“What?”

Ash asks before I can.

I don't miss the look Jimmie shoots her, and my stomach does a little forward roll, dragging the rest of my internal organs with it.

My eyes scan over what she’s reading. There’s a couple of sheets of paper in one hand and an envelope in the other.

I can't see who it’s addressed to, but I can see that it’s not Sean's writing on the envelope.

“Can I see that please?” In my head I ask calmly, but in reality, I just know my voice shakes.

I don't know why I feel the panic rise from my toes to my chest. Instinct? Some kind of sixth sense? I have no clue, but I’m anxious to the point where I feel sick. My mouth’s dry, and I watch my hand shake as I hold it out for the letter that Jimmie is reading.

“George, I don't think ...”

“Pass me the letter please, Jim.” Absolut

I feel the weight of Ashley's head lift as she sits up, but I keep my eyes on Jimmie. Hers dart to Ash and then back to me. Resignation written all over her face.

I know what’s coming even before she says the word.

“No.”

I nod my head slowly. My heart pumping the blood around my body so hard that a vein in the side of my neck actually aches from the pressure.

“Give me the f*cking letter, Jim.”

“George, if she—”

“Ash, I love you dearly, but stay out of this, babe.”

I stand and take the two steps to where Jimmie leans back against my desk.

I don't ask this time, I just slide the two sheets of paper from between her fingers and start to read.

After the first few lines, the words stop making sense. The letters dance around the page, and my head begins to spin.

I close my eyes for a few seconds and wait for the world to right itself. All the while knowing, that after what I'd just read, my world will never really be right again.

-

Sean,

Please, please read this. You won’t take my calls, and we really need to talk.

I can’t believe you’re going back to her. You told me it was over. You made me fall in love with you all over again. You gave me hope that finally, finally you would choose me, but just like last time, you’ve gone back to her. Why? Why her and not me? Is it because she lost the baby? Are you just feeling sorry for her, is that it? You can’t base a marriage on pity, Sean. It should be based on love, trust, and understanding, and you two don’t seem to have any of that for each other. She’s pushed you away for nearly three months, and I haven’t seen you doing much to stop her. She lost a baby. It happens all the time. What about me? What about our baby? You didn’t care about me or that I was left all on my own to make the worst choice a woman ever has to make. Just think, if you hadn’t left me and gone back to her all those years ago, we would have a ten-year-old now. A brown-eyed boy or girl that looked just like you. I suppose its Karma, really. I was forced to give up our child because you left me for her, so I suppose it’s only fair that she loses her baby too. Funny how life works out.

I’d like to say that I wish you both well, but I don’t. You used me ten years ago, and I stupidly let you use me again. I thought this time was different. I was there for you, holding you tight, wiping away your tears, and making you feel better, wanted, loved. Me. Not her.

I’ll give you a week, Sean. A week to see sense and come back to me. A week to see that she’s nothing but a spoilt, selfish, heartless princess who doesn’t care about anyone other than herself. If you don’t get in touch within the week, then please don’t ever get in touch with me again. Don’t contact me. When we work together, just pretend I don’t exist, because for all intents and purposes, you’ll be dead to me.

Carla



I surprise myself with how calm I remain. My heart’s galloping in my chest and my jaw feels so rigid, I struggle to speak.

I pass the letter to Ash with a shaking hand and look to Jim. “Who is she?”

Jimmie licks her lips before answering. “She worked with the producers. She was one of the sound engineers. They had a thing going on for a while, right before you two got back together. I had no clue about anything after that or about a baby.”

I let out a long breath. “You never knew?”

Jimmie looks like I’ve just kicked her puppy. “Georgia, you’re seriously asking me that?”

I feel like the biggest bitch.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even asked that.”

“I’ll tell you what I do know, though, and you are not gonna believe this …”

I raise my eyebrows and shrug, urging her to go on.

“That night you got busy with Cam in his office, something went on between Maca and her at that football match they performed at in France.”

“Oh my god, yes. I remember hearing something about that too,” Ash pipes up from beside me.

“What the f*ck ladies? And neither of you thought to tell me?”

Ashley shakes her head, and the rapid movement is making my head spin again. “It was nothing bad, George. From what I remember, she made a pass at Maca, Maca told her to f*ck off, and then he changed their flights. That’s why the boys came home early. It was months later that I heard about it, and you two were all loved up and pregnant again by then. It was trivial, a couple of the girls from the label gossiping when I was there waiting for Marley to get out of a meeting one afternoon. I think she was there at the meeting and that was why the two office girls were chatting about it.”