See How She Awakens (The Chronicles of Izzy #4)(20)

“That isn’t true.” Or was it? I’d just felt something spark between Aberto and I, and Kennan hadn’t even been gone a year.

You see, even you will not deny the truth. You never deserved his love, or his sacrifice.

“STOP!” I shouted, pressure building within me. No. No, it wasn’t true, there had always been something between Aberto and I, even when Kennan was alive, and I’d chosen Kennan. I would always choose Kennan.

Would you? If you could choose right now, who would you pick? The one that died knowing you would be alone, or the one that lies to you? Neither of them ever loved you. You are alone, Izzy.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The desperate cry ripped through the room as the pressure overtook me. Shattered glass rained down from the windows as the wave of my pain destroyed anything fragile in its path. It was too much. The darkness had left me only to return stronger than ever. It had found a new weakness to exploit, a chink in my armor.

As the last of the glass settled on the floor of the house, blackness descended.

The inky fog beckoned me, pulling me further and further way from the world I knew. The void called to me, reminding me of the solace I’d found there. Or had I? Was I happy there?

The fog twirled around my legs as the void pulsed in the distance. I could stay for a while, I wouldn’t be so alone. Kennan was there. No, he had to leave. Why had he left me?

With every step I took, the void’s pull grew stronger.

Go into the void, the darkness growled. You were never strong enough to end this. Give up now. Find your Guardian. Reunite with him.

“Kennan is gone.” The name spoken from my lips stirred my mind, pulling everything into focus. “I won’t go back in there.” I pulled away from the hold the void had on me, dragging myself backwards. “Never again.”

Why stay? There is nothing for you on Earth. Let it all go, Izzy. Float in the void as you did before.

“I. Will. Not. STAY!” Anger pulsed from my center. I was strong enough to fight the pull of the void. “I have too much to lose.”

You’ve already lost everything. Give up, Izzy. Stop fighting.

“No, I haven’t.” The admission lessened the pull of the void. Slowly, inch by inch, I made my way backwards until the void was nothing more than a flicker of light in the far off distance. The darkness was wrong, I hadn’t lost everything. Names raced through my mind, all of the people I still wanted to protect. I couldn’t do that if I gave up. Maybe I wouldn’t be strong enough to stop the darkness, but I’d be damned if I didn’t try.

You will not prevail.

“Maybe not, but I am going to put up one hell of a fight, you bastard.” A spark began somewhere inside of me, something I hadn’t felt in months. I’d found peace at Kennan’s funeral, and now, in the vast dreaming, I’d found something worth living for.

Time is your enemy; I will overtake you, the darkness growled, echoing as another voice pulled me from the dreaming.

“Izzy!” Two strong hands shook me as the dreaming melted away.

“Why are you shaking me?” I asked groggily, trying to makes sense of my surroundings.

“You would not awaken.” Aberto’s eyes were haunted.

“Well, you could’ve come into the dreaming and found me. You don’t have to create an earthquake to get my attention.” Sitting up on the bed, I ran a hand through my tangle of auburn waves. Even after losing my corporeal form to exist in my current state, I couldn’t control the wild mane.

“You were nowhere to be found. I sought you out, but there was no trace of you. Thus, as you say, the earthquake.” Aberto rubbed a hand across his jaw, his face held in thought.

“The darkness tried to get me to jump back into the void.” The memory of all that had just passed came back as the last of the fog finally faded.

“How were you able to resist the pull?”

“I really don’t want to relive it, if it’s all the same to you.” I stood up, pacing the room. The fear, the loneliness still lingered in my bones. I’d fought it off, but the darkness had reminded me, as it always did, that time was against me. Eventually, my strength would fail, and I would be overtaken.

“If we are to understand how to repress the darkness, we must first understand how you are able to overtake it. There may be a pattern, a method to eradicating its hold on you. Perhaps you may one day be able to defeat it completely.”

“It tried to tell me I was alone, that I had nothing left to fight for, to live for. But I do: Molly, Ian, Conall, Sena, Mona, Eleanor, even you. I may not be strong enough to save all of humanity, but I may be able to help you. My strength may fail me, but I will not fold without a fight. Kennan died so that I may live. Through the anger, the hurt, and the loss, his love remains. I can’t disgrace his memory by giving up. He called to me in the dreaming, begging me to leave, to help those I loved. The darkness had weakened me, taken my brokenness and used it to confuse me.” Resolve settled into my bones. I wasn’t sure how I would defeat the darkness, to push it back, or if I could ever truly be rid of it. But I would rather die fighting than give up and watch everyone I love suffer as a result of my weakness.

“Again, love.” His eyes searched my face, a question lingering, unspoken.

“Aberto, no more secrets. If there is something you want to say, just say it.”