See How She Awakens (The Chronicles of Izzy #4)(14)
“I’m no longer here. I am a mere messenger for the gods.” Sorrow dripped from Kennan’s voice.
“I won’t lose you, Kennan.”
“If you stay, you will lose yourself. This is not where you are called to be. Why can’t you see that?” Kennan’s voice pleaded.
Whispers echoed through the fog, another familiar voice. A message.
“Love and sacrifice.” The voice of my home. No, not my home, the other one. The one my soul called to. The stranger in the fog. The memory from long ago.
“No.” Kennan’s whisper cut through me, more plea than denial. “She’s not ready.”
“It. Must. Be.” The other one, the one who made me this way, called.
“Izzy, I must go, and so should you. I can’t remain here, if I do, you will be lost forever.” Kennan’s sadness ripped through me, pain seared a path straight to my center.
“You aren’t real. You are a phantom, but a phantom is better than nothing. I will stay.” No matter the other voices that hounded me, I would stay for him.
“And that is why I must go. My heart will be forever yours. Take it and live, Red.” His voice faded and with it he was gone.
“NO!” I shouted, feeling the loss of him more powerfully than I would if he were a phantom. “NO! He was real. He was here.” The fire began to writhe inside of me, the darkness rolling in waves deep in the pit of my stomach. “No, he can’t be gone. He can’t. No. No. No.” Panic raced through me as the darkness cascaded around me. The fog churned into midnight as the figures promising death and destruction moved ever closer.
Gasping for air, I shot up in the bed, opening my eyes to strange surroundings as light cascaded through the windows.
“Love and sacrifice” echoed through my mind. It had been said over and over, and I hadn’t paid any attention to the words until now. They rang out, beckoning me to find the truth. What did it mean? Why had Aberto spoken those words to Kennan? What was the sacrifice? What of love?
Love was a distant memory, swept under by a tide of darkness. Rage consumed me, anger for what I’d lost, for what had been taken from me. There was no place for love within me, no room for the pain of its loss once gone. That had been ripped away with Kennan. Instead there was the darkness filling that chasm.
What of sacrifice? Had I not sacrificed enough for the world? What more could I give? Truly, what would sacrifice be without love to drive it? One without the other seemed void of substance. No, I’d given what I could of my heart, I’d given it all in service of the heavens. I had nothing more to give. But I would have my answers, as soon as Aberto returned. There would be no more secrets.
The memory echoed in my mind as I rose from the bed, returning the worn covers to their previous state. Moving to the kitchenette, I looked for something to occupy my time while I waited for Aberto’s return. I hadn’t had coffee in a long time. Maybe there was some somewhere in the cabinets. Digging through the meager contents, I found a French press and a sealed container of coffee, along with a kettle to boil the water. Lord only knew how old the stuff was, but it was worth a try. I had to do something. I’d go crazier just staring at the walls. I set out to make the coffee as the darkness once more surfaced.
He left you to suffer alone.
“Oh, just shut up. Give me five minutes before you start,” I grumbled.
“I have not uttered a word.” Aberto’s voice startled me from what I was doing. Coffee sloshed in the press as I turned abruptly to find him once more filling the room.
“I wasn’t talking to you.” I turned back to the counter, trying to regain my composure. My hands shook as thoughts raced through my mind. The letters had revealed more than months with Aberto ever had. Looking at him caused memories to stir, distant moments long passed. I needed to focus. Kennan’s words rang in my mind along with Aberto’s response.
“Love and sacrifice,” I said, slowly turning to face him once more. “What does it mean?”
“Uriel sent Molly into the dreaming with a message on how to restore you. Love and sacrifice.”
“What does it mean?”
“You must know this now?” Frustration radiated from Aberto.
“No more secrets, Aberto. You want me to have faith in you, this is where we start. Tell me.” My eyes held his, unwavering.
“Finish what you were doing, and we will go outside and discuss the meaning of love and sacrifice.” Aberto looked around the room, his eyes resting on the desk for a moment, before his gaze returned to mine. “This building is much smaller with two bodies occupying its space.” He opened the door, leaving me to my forgotten coffee production.
I poured the contents into a stained mug I pilfered from the cabinet before heading out the door to meet him. No milk or sugar, but at least the coffee was something. My feet crossed the threshold and landed me on what might be considered a porch. Not by southern standards, to be sure, but there was enough space for two small metal chairs and a table. All of which were covered in rust and grime.
My eyes looked out over the landscape as I lowered myself into the vacant chair across from Aberto. Last night, I’d only noticed the stars. Looking out now, I took in the never ending expanse of what must be a dessert. No trees lined the landscape, only small brush and cacti struggled for life in the truly barren place. Off in the far distance, red bluffs loomed, jagged edges jutting out of the flat horizon. I couldn’t discern anyone; no matter the direction my eyes led me.