Ryder (Resisting Love #2.5)(27)

“Hey! I thought we were BFFs!” Kade yells out, pouting. Everyone laughs, myself included. I start to strum on my guitar, and everyone goes silent. I gulp, and look down at my shaking fingers. Okay, I can do this, these people are my friends and family. I look at Tee and our eyes connect. She gives me a small nod, an approving smile. I nod in return and close my eyes. Everyone and everything fades away as I start to sing. One of my favorite songs ever to both play and sing is ‘The Special Two’ by Missy Higgins, so I chose that to sing today. As usual with this song, soon I’m completely lost in the music.

I sing the lyrics, my heart feeling each and every word. This song is really beautiful, and I can’t help but think of Ryder and what could have been. I sing effortlessly, the words and tune pouring from my voice and my fingers. When it’s done, and I sing the last note, I almost sigh in relief, and slowly open my eyes.

Everyone is standing and cheering, and a laugh bubbles in my throat. I can see the looks of awe from Layla, Kade, Derek, Chase, and James. Tee is the only one who's heard me before, which is probably why she's sporting a smug ‘I told you so’ look. Someone cheers louder than the rest, and my gaze goes to the back, where the cheers are coming from.

I do a double take when I see Ryder. He’s standing there, leaning against the wall, clapping away. His gray eyes are intent on mine, and he looks… proud. He's proud of me. He's wearing distressed jeans with a tight white t-shirt, and he looks amazing. His hair is longer, shaggier, curling around his chin. I feel like someone is squeezing my heart. I knew he would be back eventually, but today of all days? I tear my gaze from his and walk off the stage. I take a seat between Tee and Derek, my body trembling slightly.

“I’m next!” I hear Ryder call out, causing me to flinch. All eyes glance between Ryder and me as he walks towards us. Derek tenses beside me, and moves his body closer to mine. Ryder walks straight to me and I hold my breath, waiting for his next move.

“May I?” he asks, gesturing to my guitar. My eyes take him in greedily. I also take a second to enjoy the husky drawl of his voice before I nod. He gently takes my guitar and walks onto the stage, sitting on the same stool where I sat moments ago. The club is so silent you could hear a pin drop. Ryder takes the microphone in his long fingers and raises the stand from where I had lowered it down to my sitting level.

“This song is for Lexi,” he says, glancing up and pinning me with a searing look, watching me underneath his thick inky lashes. I can’t help it when my lip twitches as Ryder starts to sing ‘Suffocate’ by J. Holiday. Looks like Ryder's been getting familiar with one of my favorite artists, because last time he didn’t even know who J. Holiday was, and I know how Ryder feels about R&B music.

Ryder’s deep husky voice sends shivers down my spine. When he stops the song half way and breaks into ‘Pimp in Me,’ I lose it, laughing. After he’s done, we all clap and cheer. I can’t stop the smile that beams on my face.

“Lexi, I love you. I want you. Please forgive me, my queen of hearts,” Ryder says into the microphone. My smile immediately disappears. I feel Derek wrap one of his hands around my waist, and Ryder’s eyes narrow on Derek when he notices.

“Excuse me,” I mutter, getting out of my chair, and walking outside. All of this is too much, and I need a moment to think.

I’m weak.

I’m weak because I want nothing more than to run into Ryder’s arms.

*****

Ryder

“Lexi?” I call out. I notice her leaning against the wall outside, her arms wrapped around herself protectively.

“What are you doing here, Ryder?” she asks in a small voice. My eyes take her in greedily. She looks a little different. Her hair is longer, and dead straight. She must have done whatever it is women do to get rid of her gorgeous curls. I was surprised when I saw her on stage, but so very proud. I know how much she hates it up there. She was a vision, her eyes closed, singing like an angel in that slightly husky tone of hers. Her voice left me breathless.

“We’re on break right now, so I came home. I didn’t know you were back. I actually came here to find Tee and ask her where you were,” I say.

We’re quiet for a few moments, before I have to ask, “What was that with Derek inside?”

“We’re together,” she says, looking at the ground and fidgeting with her hands.

I didn’t expect that. I’m pissed. I don’t have the right, considering I did date Nikki, but f*ck.

“I’m gonna go back inside,” she says quietly. Before she moves, I grab her arm and move in closer.

“Lexi, I’m sorry. Give me a chance to explain some things. I want to make this right. I want you, desperately. I love you, Lexi,” I tell her.

“I can’t, Ryder. You replaced me almost instantly. You guys are all the same. Sax cheated on me when I was grieving and you…” she trails off. Fuck, Sax cheated on her? I didn’t even know that.

She tries to shrug me off her, but I move faster. I capture her lips with mine, gently nudging her mouth open with my tongue. I know when she gives in because her whole body relaxes, and she leans into me. She tastes amazing, I've missed this so damn much. She moans into my mouth, but then suddenly freezes, and rips her mouth away from mine and shoves me away.

“No, I can’t do this, I don’t cheat!” she yells at me, and then runs back into the building. Fuck!