Ryder (Resisting Love #2.5)(22)

“What?” I breathed out. I had a fleeting thought that there was no way Sax would do something like that to me. But the look on the girl’s face had me questioning everything. It had me nervous.

“I didn’t want to tell you, but I know what it’s like to be cheated on, and I’m sorry, but you needed to know.” Before I could ask her anything else, she rushed off.

Instead of finishing my shopping, I rushed out of the store, and headed over to Sax’s house. When I pulled up, he was sitting on his top step. I got out of the car, slamming the door, and he looked up. Noticing the look on my face he came to me right away, but I instantly backed up and held out my hand.

“Don’t f*cking touch me,” I hissed violently.

“Baby, what...”

“Is it true? Did you sleep with some girl named Shanora?” I asked, cutting him off.

He put his head down then looked back up, tears in his eyes. “Baby, I’m so sorry, it was a mistake.”

“Well, that mistake just ended us. Stay away from me, Saxon.” I ran back to my car and he chased after me.

“AJ, please, stop. I’m sorry. It won’t ever happen again. I can’t lose you,” he begged.

Before pulling out, I yelled out my rolled down window, “Should have thought about that before you cheated on me!” Big, ugly, fat tears rolled down my face. I lost my mother, and then I’ve lost Sax, the only other person I had left in my life.

I was alone.

All alone.

I drove off, sobbing hysterically. It didn’t take long for Sax to come over to my house, pounding on my door, pleading with me. But I never opened it because I was busy making my own plans. I finished packing all my things and called up a rental company to get my house set up to rent out. Once I knew Sax was gone, I took my bags to my car, locked up the house, and left. I never looked back.

That was about three years ago. Seeing Sax again has hurt me all over again. The fact that he's in a band with Ryder, I don’t know what to do with that. I want to be with Ryder, but apparently being with him means I get my past rubbed in my face every day. What are the chances of this happening? Apparently the universe is out to get me.

*****

Ryder

Everything's messed up. Sax is missing in action, and Lexi isn’t talking to me. I went over to her apartment and Tee slammed the door in my face; nice to see that family has my back. I know I screwed up, letting Lexi think that maybe I believed some of the stuff Sax was spitting out, but that really isn’t the case. I have no idea what I’m gonna do. I can’t let the band fall apart, years of hard work and friendship, over my personal life. I need to talk to Sax and sort this out.

When he’s not at his house, I check a couple of other places he frequents. Some dodgy looking bar that doesn’t even have a sign, the basketball courts where he plays, and even his mum's house. When all come up empty, I head back to Lexi’s and feel completely stupid when I see Sax’s Harley parked in front of her apartment. Of course he would be here. I can’t help the sliver of fear that runs down my spine. What if Lexi wants him back? I don’t know what I'd do.

I run up the stairs and bang on her apartment door. Tee opens the door, this time letting me in quickly. I walk into the living room and see Sax and Lexi sitting on one of the couches. Sax is talking too quietly, and Lexi is sitting there saying nothing, looking like she wishes she was anywhere else.

“Lexi?” I say.

*****

Lexi

“I’m so sorry, AJ, please give me a second chance to make things right,” Sax says. He’s sitting next to me on the couch, his face drawn with sorrow.

“I forgive you, Sax, but we’re not going to happen. You need to move on,” I tell him, not for the first time since he came to talk to me.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever forgive him, but here I am. I don’t like seeing him like this, I think he needs my forgiveness to move on, and I want that for him. Sure, I've been bitter for a while now, but it’s been years and it’s time to move on.

“No AJ, I want you in my life. I knew I had f*cked up the minute you left. I looked everywhere for you but…” he trails off. I look over at him. He's a gorgeous man, there's no denying that. His brown spiky hair is without product today, just sticking out haphazardly, and his brown eyes are filled with regret. He's wearing jeans, motorcycle boots, and a black t-shirt. His muscles are impressive, and I’m not gonna lie, I really like the tattoos and piercings. But Saxon Tate is my past, and I am not going back. Ever.

“I needed you, Sax. I had lost my mother, my world was falling apart. I was lost, and you weren’t there for me. In fact, you were in the arms of another woman. That’s not something you can just say sorry for and expect me to take you back with open arms,” I tell him, exhaling deeply.

“I know, f*ck, I know. She meant nothing. Nothing,” he says, rubbing his hand over his head. I glance at his knuckles and frown when I see the initials ‘AJ’ written on the two of his fingers on his right hand, just below the knuckles. He sees where I’m looking and sighs. I swallow heavily.

“Any woman that takes a cheater back is stupid. And I’m not a stupid woman, Sax! What would happen when you went on tour? The trust is gone, you can never get that back.” I hiss at him.

“I love you, AJ,” he whispers to me, his eyes pleading.