Ryder (Resisting Love #2.5)(25)

“You’re gonna be alone here?” I ask Tee, concerned.

“Yeah, thanks for chasing away my only friend, Ryder,” she says dryly.

“Thanks, Tee, cos I don’t already feel like shit,” I say, rubbing my hand over my head.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” she asks, handing me a cup of coffee.

“Yeah, okay, but don’t slap me again,” I say, eyeing her. She cracks a small smile. And then I open up and tell her exactly how I chased away the woman I love.

*****





Chapter 15


Ryder

I haven’t seen or heard from Lexi, but not for lack of trying. Tee won’t tell me where she is or how she’s doing; nothing. I mean, come on, throw me a bone here. She claims she doesn’t know much, but I know how close those two are.

I’ve been on tour for a few weeks, and I haven’t even touched a woman. Shocking, I know. Men like me should be all up in the groupie scene, but I can’t stop thinking about Lexi. She's taken off, and I don’t even know where to start looking for her. I feel like I've lost my muse.

Tonight I’m going out with the rest of the band. because they think I need to have a little fun instead of moping around thinking about Lexi. I get dressed in my usual jeans and a black t-shirt. I spray on some Issey Miyake, my staple cologne, and I’m good to go.

I hesitate as I pass Saxon’s door, and I cringe when I hear him singing The Script’s ‘Breakeven’ with his guitar, obviously to Lexi. That's some depressing shit right there. I knock a few times before he finally answers. “Hey, man, you coming out with us tonight?” I ask him.

“No, just gonna hang out here,” he says, shutting the door in my face. He’s been doing nothing but feeling sorry for himself, he’s really beating himself up about Lexi. I wonder what happened between the two of them. No one's ever told me the whole story. I was hoping Lexi would offer it up to me, but she never did.

I make my way down the hotel lobby and straight to the bar. I see Jet and Kidd, so I make my way towards them. I notice a few scantily clad women surrounding them.

“Hey, guys,” I nod in greeting, taking a seat on the bar stool.

“Whoa, you’re out. Girls, this is Ryder, he’s been pining over a girl the last six weeks. One of you should show him a good time,” my cousin Jet says with a grin. I know he doesn’t like seeing me upset, and he’s been trying his best to cheer me up.

I start to protest when a stunning blonde comes over to me and glues herself to my side. She's beautiful, but not what I want. She doesn’t smell right, and she definitely doesn't look right.

She’s not my Lexi.

I decline her offer to go somewhere private and decide this wasn’t a good idea. I tell Jet and Kidd I’m leaving.

I make it back to my room and plop down on the bed with a sigh. When our tour is over I’m going to head straight home, and then hopefully I can get some answers out of Tee, so I can find Lexi and bring her home, where she belongs.

I love her.

Saxon be damned, she’s mine.

And when I find her, I won’t let her go again.

*****





Chapter 16


Lexi

I wake up after a full night of sleep, but I'm still exhausted. I’ve literally been working ten hour shifts every day, just to keep myself busy. The money isn’t bad either. I know I’m using work as means of distraction, but any way I can cope, I’m going to take it.

I force myself to get up, and fill up the bath tub. I think a good soak would do me justice. I check my phone, like clockwork, just in case. Just in case Ryder somehow wants to talk to me, contact me. I’m torn, I’m both mad at him and I miss him like crazy. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I’m a coward.

I ran, again. When things get tough, I run.

I add some bubbles to my bath, and then slowly undress, only using gentle movements with my aching body. I haven’t even made any new friends in this town. I’m keeping to myself. It’s almost as if I’m punishing myself. But for what? For trusting again? For screwing things up with Ryder? I don’t even know anymore. All I know is that I don't want to go on like this.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror and sigh heavily. My amber eyes look tired, my honey colored hair not even brushed. I need to get my shit together. I have to get back to Perth, just as I promised Tee. Over the three months I travelled around, working random bar jobs to make extra cash.

After I'm done with my bath, I put some moisturizer on my face, and then apply some light makeup. My bags are all packed and ready to go. I'm not worried about seeing Ryder because I know for a fact he's touring right now. I've even seen him on TV, and he seems to be doing well. I'm proud of him. He's living his dream.

I finish my makeup, brush my hair, and sit down on my bed. When I saw Ryder on TV, he dedicated a song to me. ‘This song is for the queen of hearts,’ was what he said. The song was ‘Here Without You’ by Three Doors Down. When he sang the chorus, I burst into tears.

What exactly did it mean? Nothing really changed. Sax is still an issue, as is the fact that Ryder was kissing another woman so soon after I broke up with him. I have no idea if Ryder tried to contact me or not because I got a new number. Tee has that number, though, so he could have gotten it from her if he really wanted to.