Ryder (Resisting Love #2.5)(29)

I get out of bed, too lazy to grab my robe. I walk out in just panties and a T-shirt. When I open the door, Ryder comes charging in and slams my door shut, before backing me into it, and caging my body between him and the door.

“Get rid of Derek. I need you, Lexi. I love you, and I’m so f*cking sorry.”

Before I can formulate a response his mouth is on mine. I don't want to stop this kiss, but we really need to talk first. I push him back gently, but still remain in his arms.

“You don’t need to worry about Derek. After we came home last night, we decided it wasn’t working for us,” I tell him.

“Did you tell him about the kiss?” he asks me, his eyes searching mine.

“Yes, and then I...” I trail off, dreading having to tell him the next part.

“And then what, Lexi?” he demands, his body stilling.

I sigh, and look down at my feet. “We were about to have sex for the first time,” he tenses, “and then when it was about to happen, I sort of moaned out your name.” He doesn’t say anything, but I can feel his chest shaking, and when I look up he bursts out laughing. I narrow my eyes at him, not finding anything about it funny. He gives me a devastating smile and then starts to nuzzle my neck.

“Wait, Ryder, we still need to talk. You need to explain what the hell went on with you and Nikki.” He sighs and grabs my hand, leading me over to the couch. He sits down and brings me down to sit on his lap.

“You broke up with me. There was all that tension with the band and Sax, and then Nikki just rocked up on my doorstep wanting to see if we could try a relationship,” Ryder tells me. “Nikki and I have a past, and there was a small part of me that was curious, I’m not going to lie. She offered me an easy way out, and I’m sorry that I took it. Nikki kissed me, and then you walked up the stairs at that moment, and then you left, and I couldn’t make it better. I f*cked up so bad, I knew that the moment I saw you leaving. I came after you, I wanted to fix everything but you were already gone.”

“So, because of that, you just decided to date Nikki?” I say sharply. Ryder flinches.

“Lexi... I didn’t want to hurt Nikki, and we didn’t even have sex or anything, okay? I care about Nikki and in the past I may have wanted more, but then I met you and I knew that you were the only woman for me,” he explains.

“So instead of coming to find me, you just decided to date another girl,” I say bitterly. This is the part of this whole fiasco that is the hardest for me to take.

“Lexi, Tee told me you do this. You need space. I had no idea where you'd gone. I even searched the apartment for clues, but then I figured you would come back whenever you were ready. Plus, I knew Nikki was just trying to distract herself from Kade. We both just hung out as friends, we only kissed a few times, that’s all, and then I went on tour.”

That’s all. Easy for him. The thought of him kissing another woman makes me want to kill someone.

“I haven’t been with anyone since you, Lexi,” he tells me, starting to trail kisses down my neck. I shiver.

“Come on, my queen, let me in again, you won’t regret it,” he says against my neck. I nod, making a choice. He’s up like lightning, standing with me still in his arms. He storms into my room and throws me none too gently on the bed.

Then he makes up for all the time we've been apart.

*****





Chapter 20


Lexi

After Ryder and I talk about the whole Nikki thing, I'm kind of unsure of where to go from there. He tells me about Saxon and everything they’ve talked about, and how Saxon is finally willing to let me go. After I hear that, I decide to go over to his place, so we could finally talk. I’ve been so angry and bitter at him for so long, I think it’s about time to let it go and move on. I don’t think he and I will ever be close again, but the weight will be off my shoulders. With encouragement from Ryder I get dressed and leave to go see my ex boyfriend.

I knock tentatively on the door, and take a step back when Sax’s older brother Kidd answers it. Kidd's real name is Michael Tate, and I have no idea why everyone calls him Kidd. They just do.

“What are you doing here?” he asks curiously.

“Just wanted to talk to Sax for a minute,” I tell him. Kidd searches my eyes and then nods.

“Come in, AJ, he’s in his room,” he says, opening the door for me. I take the familiar steps to Sax’s room and open the door, peering in. Sax is lying on his bed, bare-chested, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. My eyes roam his sculpted abs and the tattoos displayed on his body.

“Sax?” I ask softly. He sits up, looking alert.

“AJ? Is everything okay?” he asks, giving me a quick once over.

“Everything's fine. I just wanted to talk,” I respond.

“Okay, sure. Take a seat,” he says, gesturing to his bed. I sit down and take a deep breath.

“I’m glad you and Ryder talked,” I start.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a selfish dick, AJ I just didn’t want to let go of you. I’m sorry, for everything,” he says sincerely. This is the Saxon I remember.

“I forgive you, Sax,” I tell him, “but I will never forget. We both need to move on from this. I think this is the first step, so thank you.”