Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(42)

A bitter laugh escaped his lips. “How are you going to accomplish that?” He twisted in the seat. “And faith? I prefer reality,” he said. “You can’t save me, Sammy. You want to save everyone—but you can’t.”

“I do not,” I responded.

“Sure you do. You’ve always interfered in Chase’s relationships, nudging him toward who you thought were the good ones and talking him away from the ones you deemed unworthy. Teachers, friends, family—everyone. I’m not judging. It’s just who you are, and I get it, but it’s not always possible. Not with me. Not anymore.”

Heat flamed to life in my cheeks. He was right, of course—even if his observation was worded callously. I tried to save everyone. It was because of my parents. I hadn’t been able to save them. It was crazy. There was nothing I could have possibly done to change the outcome of that horrible night. But as I got older, I saw it. There was always someone to save. Rick, when Jax left home. Kelly, when Uncle Ken left her for a younger woman. Chase. Jax… Everyone. Everyone but myself.

But this was different.

“I know I can’t save you from the curse.” I kept my voice even. “But I believe I can save you from yourself.” I reached across the car and slid my hand through his hair, wrapping it around to the back of his head.

Jax closed his eyes and sighed.

The sound was warm, running through my body like liquid heat, and gave me the courage to do something bold. Twisting, I pulled his head close, guiding his lips to mine. Surprisingly, I met with no restraint.

His teeth grazed my bottom lip, tongue slipping between to give him unrestricted access. Our position was awkward, both twisted sideways and leaning forward, but it didn’t take away from the rush. In the back of my head, a small voice chided me for this. Anyone could walk right over and pull up a chair. The problem was, I didn’t give a damn. And neither did he.

One minute his hands were idle. The left still on the steering wheel and the right at his side. The next, he was dragging me across the car, hefting me onto his lap so that there was no space between us—which wasn’t hard because there wasn’t a lot of wiggle room in a Toyota.

Mint and leather filled the small space, taking me back to the night of our first kiss. Just like then, I lost myself. The warmth of his body pressed against mine. The sound of his breath, quickened and raw. The way his arms wound tight around me like he’d never let go. The way his lips moved with mine was symmetry in its most basic form. It was all perfection.

“This was worth waiting for,” he whispered into my mouth. He ran his tongue along my upper lip, tasting it, then captured the bottom one, drawing it into his mouth before letting go. He pulled back and watched me for a minute, the heat in his eyes blazing. His pointer finger traced across my cheek, lingering at the corner of my mouth before he bent forward and kissed me again.

That’s when things got intense.

I tilted my head back as he trailed a line of scorching kisses along my chin and down the left side of my neck, pausing at the collar of my T-shirt with a frustrated growl. Beneath me, his hips lifted. The friction sent tingles so exquisite, I couldn’t help the low moan that escaped my lips. He chuckled. “That sound… Again.” He breathed the words into the hollow of my neck. Each syllable was like a flamethrower held close to the flesh. “Do it again.”

He didn’t need to ask. The second his teeth grazed the soft skin above my collarbone, I let out another soft whimper.

“Perfect.”

His voice, so deep and dark and full of promise, was enough to bring me close to the brink. Leaning closer, I tried to reclaim his lips, but Jax wasn’t interested in my mouth. Not right then. With his left hand, he grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged. Not with enough force to be painful, but hard enough to prove he meant business. He ran his tongue from just below my ear, down to the corner of my collarbone. The trail it left was volcanic, igniting every inch of my body, turning me into a single raw nerve.

I threw my arms around him, desperate to pull him close. If not for the fact that he was so much taller and had the seat pushed all the way back, there wouldn’t be room between us. He resisted with another chuckle and lifted his hips again, and I pressed harder against him, the feel of our bodies so close it stole my breath.

It had the same effect on Jax. He gasped, pushing me back against the steering wheel. When I tried to lean forward, though, he held me there, arms locked tight and eyes stormy with need. His breathing was heavy and he seemed so conflicted.

Something over my shoulder seemed to catch his attention.

“It’s showtime,” he rasped.





Chapter Nineteen




Jax

The demon raged inside. When I saw the target pass by, a man in his late thirties sporting dark sweatpants and a bright-blue hoodie, I was tempted to ignore him. Despite the reason I’d brought Sam out here. Despite of what common sense was telling me. Despite the pain I was in…

The definition of stupid was doing something even though you knew the outcome would be unpleasant. I’d kissed Sam twice since coming back to town. Each time it happened, things got worse. The demon seemed hungrier. Angrier. The pain was sharper. Still, I was almost willing to ignore it all and continue kissing her—even though Calvin Gutierrez had just walked by.

In the dark hours of the early morning, I’d stopped here to feed the demon, sure I could find some poor bastard deserving a good ass-kicking. What I found was Calvin Gutierrez beating the shit out of some girl in the alley behind the liquor store on Eighth. I would have gone for him then, but I’d hesitated and the opportunity was lost. But I hadn’t forgotten about him. A little digging and some Internet research, and I had all the information needed to nail the bastard.