Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(40)

Inside, Azirak swirled, amused. Funny. The thing thought this was funny—and it was right. “You want to believe it, but the truth is, I like it. I like the feeling of holding someone’s world between the tips of my fingers. Playing judge, jury, and executioner.” I was disgusting. “Hearing them scream… Rage and violence are my life—and I like it that way.”

For a second I was sure I’d gotten the message across. Sam’s eyes were wide, and with the demon’s help, I heard her pulse race. But it wasn’t gray waves of fear rising from her body—they were crimson. She was pissed.

She shoved me hard and I didn’t resist—only she wasn’t doing it to get me away from her. Hands flat against my chest, Sam pushed me across the alley and into the adjacent building, standing on her toes so that we were face-to-face. The waves of red receded, and she took a step away.

I didn’t dare move. Didn’t dare breathe.

In a move I never saw coming, she reached out and cupped the side of my face. The gentleness of the touch was like a jolt of electricity. Sharp and painful. My mind raged to pull away, but Azirak, despite its mounting hunger, encouraged me to stay where I was. It was intrigued by Sam’s actions. Confused, but interested.

“For the first time since we met the day of my parents’ funeral, I can’t figure you out.” Her fingers trailed, warm and soft, down the side of my face, stopping to rest at the base of my neck. “I don’t know if it’s me you’re trying to convince—or yourself.”

“You—”

She pulled my head down so our foreheads met, and whispered, “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You are not a perfect man, Jax Flynn, but you are not a monster. You’ve done what you needed to survive, but I refuse to believe that true evil is within your range.” She pulled away and tilted my head up a few inches so that we were face-to-face again. “Maybe—just maybe—you have some connection to the thing that’s doing all this. But that doesn’t make it your fault. Like you said, we’ll figure it out and we’ll stop it. Together.”

I ripped the folder from her fingers and propelled her away. Waving it, I said, “Didn’t you notice anything about these victims, Sammy?”

Hesitant, she rolled her eyes and took the file back, leafing through. “They’re all girls?”

“They’re all girls with brown hair and brown eyes.” I took the folder back again. “They’re all girls who are about five foot three and weigh about a buck twenty. No real family.”

She wasn’t getting it.

“They’re you, Sammy. Each one of these girls resembles you.”

I watched it happen. The moment she realized I was right. A puff of gray wafted from her shoulders and her skin visibly paled. But it didn’t last. Sam took a deep breath and looked away from the folder. “Even if you’re right, that doesn’t make this your fault,” she repeated.

And with those words, she leaned forward, rose onto her toes, and brushed her lips to mine. So brief. So painful. Azirak went crazy, urging me to push against her and make us one. It wanted her as much as I did and that terrified me more than any lapse in control ever had.

“We can do this,” she said.

But I wasn’t as optimistic. This demon was essentially following me. Killing girls wherever I went.

Girls who looked like Sam.





Chapter Eighteen




Sam

Jax’s footsteps echoed against the floorboards above the living room as I paced the floor. He must have been worried that the demon would attack Rick, because he insisted on stopping off to check on his uncle. He’d asked me to wait outside, but I hadn’t seen Rick in so long.

“Do you ever listen?” Jax growled, coming down two steps at a time. “Outside means not in the building last I checked.”

“Next you’ll try slapping a collar on me and commanding I bark like a dog,” I said. It was the perfect opening for a Jax-like retort, but he didn’t answer. He didn’t even snicker. I looked around the room. “So where’s Rick? I wanted to say hi.”

“He’s upstairs. Sleeping.”

“Sleeping?” I said. “In the middle of the afternoon?”

He didn’t answer.

“Jax?” I tried again.

“He’s sick,” Jax said after a moment. “Cancer. That’s why I came back to Harlow. He doesn’t have much time left.”

Everything started to spin. “Sick— How—? Kelly never said a word. Chase either.”

“He asked them not to. It happened really fast. He went downhill quickly. Didn’t want anyone to know.”

I blinked. I didn’t know what to say. Rick Flynn was family. “I… I’m sorry, Jax.”

“He doesn’t want your pity,” he said coolly. “Neither do I.”

“I know.”

“Then forget I said anything.”

I stared. Forget? Was he crazy? “I can’t just—”

He was in front of me, face so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his skin. “You have more important things to worry about. You need to learn what it’s like to deal with a demon.”

One second he was burning for me like a California wildfire, the next he was trying to cram an iceberg the size of Texas between us. The back-and-forth of his mood was making me dizzy. “What does that mean?”